UrbanBaby

06.11.20, 01:16 AM General Topics
16 replies

Talk me down, caught 11 yo's youtube search history. He is looking up videos on sex and using the crude terms for things and also making complimentary comments on a few transgender women's makeup videos. I fear he watched anime sex and a few porn videos that got through filters. WWYD? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 01:16 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

Talk to him. Cut back access to YouTube [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:18 AM Flag

I am probably the dumbest parent on the planet but I am shocked he used the F word and "porn". I don't want him to feel punished but he has a newish ipad and he changed the password and removed me but we share e-mail so I could still see what he was up to. I just spoke with him, kindly, about safety, because he was commenting on some live streams, and he was white as a ghost. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:33 AM Flag

I talked with my brother about this b/c he shared that he had a really early intro to pornography as a kid in the 90s and he said it really messed with his head because of how violent, nonconsensual, and unrealistic most of the porn that circulates is. Commonsense Media is my go-to and they have a list of advice: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sex-in-the-media/how-do-i-talk-to-my-kid-about-internet-porn. For counterprogramming about realistic and consensual intimacy, I would redirect the kid to scarleteen.com. They also put out a really good sex ed comic book called "Wait, what? A comic book guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:50 AM Flag

https://bookshop.org/books/wait-what-a-comic-book-guide-to-relationships-bodies-and-growing-up/9781620106594 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:50 AM Flag

Thanks I bought this book but shudder about what he's already looked at. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:34 AM Flag

He was white as a ghost because you discovered his secret age-appropriate behavior? You don't want him to feel punished. Please check your own feelings. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:18 AM Flag

I love the UB responses that try to shame me by quoting me back at myself. Reminds me of my abusive ex. That is one of his tactics as well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:31 AM Flag

He’s already been “punished”. He had to hear that his mom saw what he was looking at. That’s enough for now. Make him give you the password to his iPad and if he locks you out again, the iPad is yours. He’s going to explore stuff he hears at school. I’m old and didn’t have computers. I didn’t understand why my peers thought “hoar” was such a cool naughty word to call people. I only had a dictionary. Maybe a male relative could talk with him if his dad isn’t around. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 11:30 AM Flag

In my dc's school, kids were watching porn on their phones in 5th grade. You can't totally shield him from this. You need to have a number of conversations. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:40 AM Flag

That’s awful [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:02 AM Flag

DH blocked youtube on all of DS's devices when DS tried to convince us that the earth was flat. It worked. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:41 AM Flag

lol [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:50 AM Flag

in the words of the pta meeting about online porn presented by a guest speaker, it's inevitable. the question is - do you want child to learn about sex from porn (sex = porn) or have talks with them (sex = complicated and it doesn't look like porn). if kids think sex is the porn stuff they see, they think it is a normal part of the act to get creamed all over their face, blow jobs, etc... the presenter said one of the most deflating ways for them to view porn is to understand how the actresses are paid. there is an escalating dollar figure for each increasingly unpleasant act. there is good sex, and there is bad sex and we have to teach them the difference. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:13 AM Flag

wow I have toddler DS's and this is a great point. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 03:21 AM Flag

DH - Boys will do that; it used to be limited to dirty magazines. If you haven't discussed internet safety yet, it's time to start. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 12:19 PM Flag

^^and also discuss respect. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:04 PM Flag