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06.10.20, 22:10 PM General Topics
10 replies
Reposting for the night crowd: DH is in the planning stages of starting a business. He wants to ask a current co-worker to do it with him because she has experience in the area and is highly regarded. I have long felt that she has a romantic interest in him. Starting a business is such an intense experience that I feel them working together so closely (and just the two of them) could be a threat to our marriage. Is this something you would think about and raise with DH? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.10.20, 10:10 PM Flag
 

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I'm very old, but didn't Angela's dad get into trouble with this with Halley Lowenthal on My So Called Life? I'd talk about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.10.20, 10:47 PM Flag
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It's ok to talk about it. Acknowledge the intenseness of that relationship, your concerns that it will invoke feelings of jealousy and exclusion in you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.10.20, 11:25 PM Flag
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Hmm. If you are already concerned, I would address it before any big conversations are had btw those two. Emphasize that you are not accusing him, in any way, of improper behavoir, you just want to talk (with him) about the elephant in the room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.10.20, 11:38 PM Flag
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Just to give you some perspective, I cofounded a business with a married guy. Our relationship is very intense in many ways (and actually sometimes like a marriage lol in terms of fights and compromises), but never has it crossed my mind that it might be romantic in nature. I don't really know his wife terribly well but I like her. I would try to disentangle this from the woman in question and think about it more in terms of your own feelings. I think it would be fine to talk about. Again from my perspective vis a vis my partner I just assume he has a strong relationship with his wife. I'd be open to getting to know her better but I respect the privacy of their personal life. And I say this even though we've run a biz together for a few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.10.20, 11:47 PM Flag
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You have posted before (and that is fine) and I did not respond. Go with your gut. I would not feel comfortable. Talk to DH and tell him what you told us. My DH wanted to partner with his cousin with his practice and I told him no. It was for different reasons- I am not fond of the cousins wife. She is a busy body putting in her two cents where it does not belong. She probably would have dictated the work schedule because she (like us) has school aged kids but she thinks her work schedule is more hectic than mine. It was a NO from me and and he listened. Be open and honest and it will save you major headaches and your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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Op here: Thank you for your perspective. I think in some ways I already feel uncomfortable with the relationship. My husband is not big about talking about personal things. I generally save my more emotional conversations for my friends. However, I know that she has told him about her relationship troubles (Including that she left her fiancé because she wanted to be with someone more ambitious) and private family matters. Obviously, he must have single to her that it was OK to talk about very personal things with him even though he’s a coworker. Having personal conversations is something that I wish could be a part of our relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 12:04 AM Flag
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She could be lonely and a big talker. But it doesn’t sound like you’re very happy in your relationship [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 12:13 AM Flag
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Agree with being a big talker. Some people overshare no matter what. The fact that he listened to her more than OP wished he did with her could be seen as a good sign: it could mean that he doesn't feel emotionally concerned with that other woman. Plus he shared all the details with OP apparently. That being said, it seems that the other woman is actively positioning herself towards OP's DH. Even if he doesn't care and would never fall for her, this will still lead to a lot of headaches down the road. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 12:19 PM Flag
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Before you breach the subject, you should determine what outcome you are looking for. Why do you think this? If it is "intuition" he will likely say you are mistaken and he only has eyes for you. If you really don't want him to do it, don't tread lightly, just come out and say it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 01:15 AM Flag
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100% decide outcome desired first! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.11.20, 01:28 AM Flag
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