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06.08.20, 01:18 AM General Topics
30 replies
My DH lost his job. i have no emotional support other than my sister whom I am very grateful to have. kids are fine. we are healthy. we have 6 months emergency fund. but looking at the real possibility that he wont find another job that will pay for our high fixed costs. my job (in law enforcement) is no longer valued. so. well. maybe we just pull the plug? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.08.20, 01:18 AM Flag
 

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You got this!!!! We value you in law enforcement....What is you DH work field? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:20 AM Flag
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big law. now. a little smaller law? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:22 AM Flag
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still kind of shocked. they just kicked him out. like see ya. dont let the door hit you on the way out. we were doing fine. but our house is now worth less than mortgage and [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:23 AM Flag
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Where are you located that your house in under water? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:42 AM Flag
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np- maybe he tries for an in house law job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:24 AM Flag
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My DH is going through this. Very difficult to get an in-house position if you were a senior associate up for partner. They also really want diversity so if he’s a White guy it will be harder (but he’s not there’s a lot of people looking) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:51 PM Flag
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Pull the plug on what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:21 AM Flag
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Yeah when law enforcement says that it could be bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:24 AM Flag
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I'm sorry, OP. We saw this 10 years ago and it's happening in BigLaw again. I have worked in BigLaw for the past 20 years and have pretty much seen it all. If you want to share what practice area he's in and roughly how much experience he has I can try to offer advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:42 AM Flag
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Not OP but my husband is in the same position - has a little over 10 years and is in IP litigation with a tech focus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:53 PM Flag
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Downsize, you'll all be happier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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hey-thanks guys-- just getting a bottle going over here. we're fighting --he walked out. this is how it ends for us. no worries. things have been brewing for a while. we'll either survife or not. at least my isster has estra room [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:47 AM Flag
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Maybe you should put bottle down, get a good night sleep and think it with a clear head tomorrow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:55 AM Flag
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Pull the plug on your marriage????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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You're right, we no longer value paying people to bully society at will. But if you weren't doing that anyway, what's the difference? Aren't you happy that we don't value that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:53 AM Flag
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no you are right! I went into law enforcement to help victims of crime and protect the community--but really its about bullying people at will. That's what we do!!!! you are totally right!! we all need to be disbanded. that is the solution. thank you. to think. i used to listen to npr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:57 AM Flag
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Please do not insult the many police officers that protect us. You can be pro police and pro BLM. Please do not stereotype law enforcement. My brother is a great guy and a wonderful cop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:01 AM Flag
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op here. exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:05 AM Flag
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The language is wrong, it's not getting rid of the police. It should be reduce and replace, not defund and dismantle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:04 AM Flag
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NP: Please do not spew this garbage here. Enough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:08 AM Flag
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STOP!!! It's only people who only just started paying attention who are this dumb. I work in progressive politics and have done for years now. for YEARS I have been addressing the issue of police brutality. I imagine you just found out about it ten minutes ago. If you think attacking every person in law enforcement is the way to go then guess what, you are the problem. It is 1000000% more nuanced than that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:30 AM Flag
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np: +1, ty. I got pulled into a dumb back and forth on the other thread that I shouldn't have bothered with. I said that I didn't think social workers were equipped to defuse violent confrontations like domestic violence and started getting answers like, "So explain to me why so many cops have a DV record," and elsewhere, "Cops commit rape, they don't arrest rapists, their purpose is not to protect people." I dk if it's just a troll but if it is, they're trolling this way for a reason and it's partially because young, inexperienced people are speaking this way on Twitter trying to prove themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:12 AM Flag
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they are but my advice is just to let people go through this process. The absolute hardest thing is not to take it personally. The number one hardest thing about change is diffusing the defensive mechanism. You have lived your life to the best intentions and hearing 'defund the police' must feel hard and brutal. Try to know that this poster does not speak for all and the conversation is saying 'you are a bad person'. The conversation is saying 'the system is allowing poor judgement to triumph'. It's not you but it must feel that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:22 AM Flag
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*the conversation is NOT saying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:23 AM Flag
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OP - 2 things: my dh just lost his job too. It sucks. It sucks for your relationship and it sucks overall. Also you are likely feeling 100% crappy right now. It is NOT that people hate all police - it's that for so long, police have been allowed to behave with impunity and that's not ok. that doesn't mean you did! But a lot of them did. So structurally, that needs to get shut down. But you don't need to get shut down - your reason for doing what you do and your skills remain. we need that. hugs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:45 AM Flag
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im sorry, my dh also recently lost his job unexpectedly. he earn much more than i do. im also pregnant. its very bad timing. we luckily have very low living expenses but emotionally hes a wreck. depressed, moping, sulking..its hard. i dont have a lot of patience right now for it. reality is the job market is terrible it is going to take a least a year for him to find something. not sure how we wont kill each other until then. its hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:47 AM Flag
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the moping and sulking is very taxing. i have to support him all the time and any little thing can set him off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:31 PM Flag
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yes its exhausting. i know in the end he/we will be fine, and these jobs just arent forever (lots of politics involved). he wasnt happy for a long time but seems to have amnesia now. ughhh. sorry. i guess im not very supportive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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All I can say is hang in there. DH lost his job last year, found a new one earlier this year and is planning to hire a few people soon. It isn’t law but my point is, it will happen. Your DH should be networking a ton and talking to everyone ALL the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:19 AM Flag
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thank you. he is talking/networking/interviewing. good to be reminded that a new job is possible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:33 PM Flag
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