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06.05.20, 16:49 PM General Topics
31 replies
Seeing a lot of social media posts from white people dismissing what's happening by claiming they "don't see color" and "if you're a good person, that's the only thing I judge." This is how I was raised (in a predominantly white suburb) so I understand the mindset behind it, but I have been trying to figure out how to articulate (to myself and others) why this is wrong. For one, it makes love and respect conditional (i.e. "if you're a good person, I don't care what race you are") - what if someone isn't "good" by your definition, though? And what if the reason for that stems from systemic inequity (i.e. cyclical poverty, over-policing, etc.)? Would love to talk this through if anyone cares to support or counter this... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.05.20, 04:49 PM Flag
 

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I don't see color = I don't see racism because it makes me uncomfortable but don't call ME racist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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OP: Definitely this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:01 PM Flag
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This is pretty much how I always interpret the "I don't see color!" comments from somebody. Once, in the last year or two, an obviously-racist (to everybody but himself!) white man at a backyard cookout I was at said to a black girlfriend of mine, "I don't see color!" My friend replied, "if you can't see color, then you can't see patterns. Like your patterns of racism." She walked away leaving the white man speechless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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Love this!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:24 PM Flag
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I think it is more like I don't see color= MY race has never been an issue for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:40 PM Flag
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Not directly related to your comment, as you are discussing more personal level interactions/perceptions. But for me, an important moment was when I saw some data on net worth of families by ethnicity. The median net worth of a white family in the US is approx $150K, of an Asian family around $160K, of a hispanic family $9K and of a black family $6K (not income, net worth, savings, property, investments, etc). For a long time, I've been thinking that 150K is really inadequate in a face of a medical issue, serious accident, long-term unemployment, etc. But then I realized that living with only 5-10K as a safety net is an experience I am completely unable to relate to. It means constant anxiety that a minor thing can lead to a financial disaster for your family. It means inability to take risks, inability to invest in the future. I picked up myself and moved to two different countries, spending several thousands in the process, without thinking about it a second time. None of that is a possibility when you start with zero resources. And this is the median. I.e. 50% of families have even less than that. It's really something I can't forget about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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Honestly, most folks don't even have a safety net at all. Paycheck to paycheck with bad credit and no savings means when the money runs out, the money runs out - there's no credit card to charge the groceries to, or savings account to pay the electric bill with. So then there are late fees, bounced check fees, etc. It's very expensive to be poor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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^basically, it's beyond even about worrying about what you'd do in the face of an emergency or what you will do in the future. It's survival. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:37 PM Flag
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I'm white, and there's something about the phrase "I don't see color" that irks me. To me it positions race/color as something that you're "looking beyond". Like "I'm looking beyond your blackness and only judge you on your character." It still implies that color is part of the equation and you're deliberately looking past it. I don't use this phrase, because if I find it sort of annoying/patronizing as a white person, I imagine it would be even more insufferable if I was hearing it as a POC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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also nobody says this to a fellow white person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:28 PM Flag
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I think it can go both ways, while the 'I don't see color' statement has been associated with vailed racism but if someone truly means it, it's a good way to live. You can 'not see color' but still understand that minorities have it a big harder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:11 PM Flag
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OP: Definitely. At the superficial level the intention is nice: "I won't judge someone negatively based solely on their skin color" (though I think we can all call bullshit on this most of time...) But by not acknowledging someone's color, it means you're not acknowledging all that they are and what they have to deal with. My DH is a POC, and we have always talked openly and bluntly about race in our house with our kids, just matter of factly. Then I think of my mother, though, and how when we were growing up, if she was talking about a black person, she'd whisper the word "black" - as if saying the word black would flag her as a racist or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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In my mind whenever I heard “I don’t see color”, I thought, “you’re a liar” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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Ignoring differences vs. celebrating differences. It comes off as "I like you (in spite of your blackness)" as opposed to "I like you (and your blackness)". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:40 PM Flag
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THIS. well said. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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I used to think it was good to "not see color" but the problem is it fails to address that racism does exist, years ago I thought this was the right way to raise my kids but I learned that they need to understand what is really going on. I don't think that statement is always an attempt to be racist but it is naive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:41 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, I was brought up this way (not just at home, but in children's programming, school, Girl Scouts, church sunday school, etc.) and naive is the perfect way to describe how so many people are. And it's clearly just as dangerous as overt racism. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:44 PM Flag
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I remember very clearly being called out for this sort of viewpoint 30 years ago. At the time I was a college freshman, little white girl from New England who thought I understood what racism was. At the time - late 80s - we weren't having these conversations. I thought it was enough to just think and say (cringe) that color didn't matter and we were all the same or something along those lines. I was corrected very quickly and succinctly by someone who disabused me of my white, suburban notion that color didn't matter. I've been thinking about that conversation for decades and even more so in recent times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:51 PM Flag
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They aren’t dismissing necessarily, they are just confused as to what exactly they have to do about it. What is expected of everyone who happens to look white. And I say LOOK white because this is what it’s about now, which makes it even harder to understand what course of action needs to be take. It’s not about class or your political leaning or even ethnic background or immigration status, it’s become purely about color of your skin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:17 PM Flag
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Not sure what you are asking. Someone who isn’t good mean someone who wants to commit crime against me. And I care less about the skin color in that case or even their trigger condition. When someone is breaking into your home or mugs you on the street do YOU really care to stop to think what so I’m economic factors or systemic oppression caused this person to attack or will you just start screaming for police? Crime is crime, what pushed the person to commit it isn’t going to minimize the damage experienced by the victim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:22 PM Flag
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The trigger conditions is something for the policy makers to discuss and fix. We can only vote for the right candidates that we think can fix the deep societal issues or vote for laws to be passed. If you are on the receiving end of the crime, in that moment your primary reflex is to protect yourself, not a time for contemplation. And if you got hurt badly I doubt you would not press charges just because the person assaulting you is disadvantaged. Will you, OP just move on and say, hey this person needs my stuff more than me, I am not calling the police. Or will you say. It’s ok for this person to rape me or injure me during burglary and the outlet for their anger, because it’s justified. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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its great if THEY don't see color but plenty of people do, so its discounting black people's experiences of racism. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:27 PM Flag
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Everyone who isn't blind SEES color. Don't people remember their kids commenting on different skin colors when they first started talking. That's when the conversation about race has to begin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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Of course people see color. How do you describe people for pete's sake -- size, race, gender -- almost always [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 07:30 PM Flag
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lots of people (OK, white people) are squeamish abut using race in this context. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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It's a lame figure of speech that people use to say they don't let color influence how they treat a person (which is usually a lie). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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There is no question that systemic inequity exists, but I think there is also a difference between someone who naively says they "don't see color" and someone who doesn't "judge color" due to their limited personal experiences. You can handle this however you want, but my personal style is to keep the positive intention at the forefront and use this as a chance to inform. Since you feel that your friends have good intentions, maybe discuss why you think it is important to see/acknowledge race as a part of someone's identity. Some don't have racial biases, some are not aware of the ones they have, and some are ruled by theirs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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THIS! People mean it “in a good way”, though I understand now that it’s not great. So recognize good intentions, perhaps unknowing/ignorant of socially-charged effects. Some people are using this time to pile on to others, but realize that it’s much more effective to explain gently without guns ablaze. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 04:44 PM Flag
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These are people who have never heard of hidden bias. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 10:57 PM Flag
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Did you all see the thread a few weeks ago where 5 or 6 UBers claimed they didn't "see" Chrissy Teigen as Asian? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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I thought that was very weird as well! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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