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06.05.20, 12:27 PM General Topics
126 replies
I'm so sad today, we have twin boys who are almost 6yo. They started K at a great private in September and we really love it. We knew that one of our boys was going to have learning issues, he's always been way behind his brother, but we've had a few meetings with the school about it and they've recommended that we move him to a specialized school. We live in midtown on the west side, should we move both to keep them together, and what schools should we apply to for one versus both? Anyone been through this, please tell me it's going to be ok [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.05.20, 12:27 PM Flag
 

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I would not keep them together. Each should have the best school for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:31 PM Flag
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Thanks, I guess I'm wondering if there's a school where they could be together as twins and siblings but each get the stimulation and support they need. I feel like if we split them up and one goes to a special school it's going to be really tough when they're older. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:50 PM Flag
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np don't think if it in that way. think of putting each kid in the best school for his needs even if it is diff schools. I know twins where one is in mainstream school and one is at specialized school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:18 PM Flag
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Thankyou [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:08 PM Flag
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Yes, do not keep them together. In this situation, they are different individuals with different needs and tracks. Help them develop their own identities. Keeping them together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:32 PM Flag
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^ will only reinforce comparison with each other on every assignment, class grade. It will be ok, you will all settle in, but being a parent of a DC with any type of differences is challenging. It might be a bit of a long road. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:34 PM Flag
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^ in terms of which school to apply, this needs to be driven by DC’s needs. Get inputs from the school, do a neuropsych, make your own observations about DC and go from there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:36 PM Flag
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I'm not sure I would take advice from the school. Just go to a good neuropsych. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:39 PM Flag
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Good point. Sometimes though, the input from an experienced teacher can be valuable, to be taken as just one piece of the puzzle. Similarly, neuropsych are far from perfect either, especially at such a young age (BTDT). I would treat everything as a piece of a puzzle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:47 PM Flag
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OP - thank you, I feel like the current teacher just didn't care and didn't want to put in the time. The school actually didn't want to take him but agreed to try for a year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:58 PM Flag
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I am sorry. It is hard. I would say the school is showing you who they are and what their values are. Depending on what the neuropsych tells you / what the challenges are, some of the progressive schools might be a fit for both children if DC’s issues are mild. But I think until you know more, you probably want the environment that works best for both children individually and that meshes well with the values of your family [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:07 PM Flag
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Thank you, where would I find a list of the progressive schools? The NP thought he should be fine where he is, one of our boys is super chatty and engaged, the other just goes a long. Our school said he's not verbal enough but he can hear and speak well, he just chooses not to most of the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:09 PM Flag
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OP - thank you, yes I think the reason I'm so sad is that I'm realizing how challenging this is going to be, to make the right choice and not have them feel separated, they've always been together :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:53 PM Flag
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Have you had him evaluated? Just because he has learning issues doesn't mean he needs to go to a special needs school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:33 PM Flag
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Np: if the private is already recommending a move at the end of K, it is not the right school for him. They are signaling that they are not prepared to support DC, even in the relatively easy early years. Very typical of mainstream privates that do not want to manage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:40 PM Flag
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^ challenges. OP: I wouldn’t take this as an indicator of a major longterm concern. Kids develop at different rates, learn to compensate for their challenges over time. NYC private schools are a certain breed that seeks the pretty perfect kids that are the most likely to get into top colleges. Their tolerance for challenges along the road is low [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:44 PM Flag
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OP - thanks yes that's what I've come to realize [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:02 PM Flag
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OP - thank you, yes we've had him evaluated once earlier this year when he was 5.5yo, they weren't sure that he has a clear diagnosis yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:44 PM Flag
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why not public ICT? Can he handle it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:03 PM Flag
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OP yes I’ve heard it’s a good idea because he could get extra services during the school day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 10:58 PM Flag
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THIS 100% !!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:02 PM Flag
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How can people support private schools that do this? What a horrible, evil message. What a nasty environment to be in. And how can your child get a good, well-rounded education when there aren't any children who aren't perfect around them? It's disgusting. Having learning issues and being behind isn't a sin. That's what teachers are for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:38 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:39 PM Flag
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NP: I actually took it as a positive since they want to make sure her DS gets the attention and care he needs and deserves. If the school knows they cannot provide that, what is wrong in redirecting OP to a school that does? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:45 PM Flag
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agree, the school is not equipped to handle the learning needs . several kids have left our private for specialized schools so that they can learn to read at their own pace and in a certain way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:53 PM Flag
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Why would a school that charges $50k a year not be equipped to teach a kid with some learning deficits??! Every school should allow the kids to learn "at their own pace." That's crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:02 PM Flag
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Doesn't sound like OP's kid has "some" learning deficits. She says herself that he is quite disruptive for class. I feel bad for OP but I think her DS deserves a caring nurturing environment and not one in which everyone views him as a nuisance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:04 PM Flag
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No, it doesn't. It sounds like he has typical learning issues that can be dealt with easily when you are accepted and aren't made to feel like a "nuisance." When the policy is inclusion, there are others with issues and you all work on them together. You'd be surprised what a little self-esteem can do for one's behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:15 PM Flag
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it is not that simple. Also certain private schools are quite academic and are not inclusive so if a kid isn't keeping up, it is not the best fit. There are plenty of other privates who can handle this, but if you aren't in a school that can handle, best to leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:20 PM Flag
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THIS. Whatever happened to finding the right fit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:20 PM Flag
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Best fit effectively translates into a type of segregation based on IQ and ability to learn easily [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:54 PM Flag
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NP- the former is actually untrue. Many high IQ kids have learning issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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Agree which is why I added and easy to teach. These schools want both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:34 PM Flag
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Agree. So where are kids with high IQ and learning issues (e.g., ADHD) best served? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 04:51 PM Flag
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You are agreeing with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:26 PM Flag
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Seriously, these schools have like ceramic kilns and class trips to China but they can't hire an aide? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:04 PM Flag
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This is correct. Their true mandate is to ensure that they are self sustaining, which means beefing up or protecting their rep, which means taking and favoring the strongest kids and providing them with the most advantages. However I have found that some of the progressive schools are more enlightened and more about the whole education of the person and what they could bring to society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:31 PM Flag
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because some kids have learning issues that require a different method than how the school is teaching. If on kid, cannot learn in that matter, the kid should go to a diff school, and not have the school rearrange their whole curriculum for the one kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:07 PM Flag
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You don't know much about teaching. No school should be teaching ONE method. No one learns in the same way. They shouldn't be rearranging their whole curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:16 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:31 PM Flag
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"Some learning deficits" is different than disrupting the whole class. But I agree. We are at private and I paid for a yr of private tutors because my kid was behind in reading even though still at grade level . the school put the issue back on us to deal w and said they already had done everything they can do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:16 PM Flag
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Yes. We agree. This child has "some learning deficits" and likely would not, nor has OP said he does, disrupt the whole class. He's only 6. With encouragement and extra help, he'd likely be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:28 PM Flag
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^^I see that OP says he disrupts the class below. I still stand by what I wrote in that, with a few accommodations, he'd be fine. At our elementary and now at middle school, there are several kids with ADHD and other learning challenges. They only had behavior issues early on when no one was dealing with their issues. They were frustrated. Once addressed, diagnosed and handled, they were fine, thrived, and the other kids learned to be compassionate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:33 PM Flag
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^^Not saying it works that way every time, but to not even try to address it or help is counter to what education should be and nowhere I'd want to send any child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:34 PM Flag
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The pushing back to the parents when there is a small issue is very common. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:13 PM Flag
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This is one way to look at it and how private schools convey it, but taking a step back, from a greater society standpoint, it is pretty brutal to make determinations on kids at such a young age and to send the message that one should only stick with its own kind. Very Darwinian and not very progressive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:53 PM Flag
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what if the whole class can read and one kid cannot. this kid needs another type of environment for the next few yrs. It will all even out but it is a bum in the road that needs to be addressed and many schools are not able to do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:56 PM Flag
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He doesn't need "another type of environment." First off, he needs other kids who can't read, of which there are plenty, and second, he needs to be taught to read by someone trained to do so, you know, a teacher. He isn't mentally challenged. He just has some learning issues. Most people do, in fact. You would be hard-pressed to find any class of 20 kids who are learning exactly the same at exactly the same pace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:01 PM Flag
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this happened to my kid. had to switch out after 3rd grade because he wasn't reading. wish I could have had the foresight to know how it was going to play out and switched after K or 1st grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:05 PM Flag
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Switched to what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:17 PM Flag
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Then don’t claim that you are all about inclusion and diversity. I will say that on the issue of reading, some of the progressive privates are much more understanding and accommodating of the fact that kids can learn to read at very different ages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:02 PM Flag
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what happens if the kid gets to 3rd or 4th grade and cannot read. and for yrs the school said its fine, and then you realize you have to switch to a learning disability school. best to switch in an earlier yr for several reasons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:05 PM Flag
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Then, whoever was evaluating wasn't doing their job. You can tell if a child is a bit behind/learns differently or if he has a permanent, serious learning challenge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:19 PM Flag
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Montessori schools don't teach reading until 8 years old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:05 PM Flag
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well it doesn't sound like OP is at a Montessori [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:08 PM Flag
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duh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:10 PM Flag
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The irony is that many of these schools tout their inclusive and socially progressive approach and programs. Very hypocritical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:57 PM Flag
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but they don't claim to be schools for kids w learning disabilities (or at least many do not). They are not equipped for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:06 PM Flag
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It goes way beyond learning disability. Most of them won’t handle mild ADD, chronic health challenges, recovery from an accident that prevents you from going to school for a while and the list goes on. Most of them are the antithesis of inclusion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:17 PM Flag
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THIS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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Then, their claim is meaningless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:24 PM Flag
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It is. It is marketing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:34 PM Flag
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It is. It is marketing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:34 PM Flag
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You took it the wrong way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:20 PM Flag
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The problem is not that they cannot provide it, problem is that they don't really give a shit about these students. They only want almost perfect kids who are easy to teach, so the schools can take the credit for the work they do, all while making a ton of money. Dispicable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:53 PM Flag
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Totally! They absolutely can provide services, it is well within their means, they just CHOOSE not to. If I were in OP's position, I would CHOOSE to disenroll both my children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:59 PM Flag
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Me too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:36 AM Flag
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OP yes that has crossed my mind for sure. But until we have a full diagnosis we don’t know if we need a special school so I’m in such a funk right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:37 PM Flag
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OP - honestly having home schooled for the last 12 weeks I can see why he needs the extra attention. He tries really hard but it's almost like he can't see/hear, both have been tested and are fine. He constantly has to be redirected, everything is much harder for him, then he gets upset quickly and it's disruptive for the class. I get it but I'm still sad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:46 PM Flag
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I get it to be sad. but many kids deal w this. A specialized school for a few yrs might be the best option for everyone involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:58 PM Flag
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OP - do you have experience with this? Our current school told us to put him in Windward for a few years and then come back to them, that was surprising to me, but I guess maybe he could catch up? Or maybe they were trying to soften the blow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:03 PM Flag
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many kids from our school have switched to Windward (many of the parents still have siblings in the other school and report back). They are really happy with it. after a few years, it all evens out. It is just a bump in the road . It is hard on everyone to keep a kid in a school where it isn't the right fit. I am sorry you are dealing w this. but best to nip in the bud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:10 PM Flag
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Ok thanks this is helpful xx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 11:00 PM Flag
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Isn't that the whole draw of private school?? Extra attention? What on earth are you paying for then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:03 PM Flag
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My son has some learning issues. He goes to public school. His teachers give him extra attention and the social worker checks in with him to make sure he's emotionally ok. I prefer this to being told he has to go to a "special school" because it takes him longer to learn certain things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:05 PM Flag
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Could be ADHD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:06 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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I don't know all of the details, but my friend has boy-girl twins born at 28 weeks. The boy has severe delays and is in a separate school. They are both thriving in their own ways and still have a special bond. Good luck. My friend does not live in NYC, so can't help with schools, docs, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:05 PM Flag
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I have friends who did this with boy/girl twins. Girl is in regular private and boy in private that addresses his specialized needs. They started K in different schools. Both are thriving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:30 PM Flag
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Unfortunately, NYC is very segregated by ability. I did not separate my kids and moved to a burb that could accommodate all of my children. I felt it was a sacrifice at the time but my dd is a top student now in 7th grade. Our public had windward trained teachers in a community school. In NYC , I was told she needed private school and she was low IQ (86 in pre-k). With speech and accommodations, she was retested and her iq is normal. She makes the honor roll each semester in MS. I adjusted to small town living and we are happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:40 PM Flag
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What a happy story! Thanks for sharing and good for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:17 PM Flag
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You’re welcome. She is amazing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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And so is your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:33 PM Flag
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Yes, it is ridiculous! They want to push kids with even mild special needs to separate schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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I have twin boys and have been reading this thread and completely understand the sadness. I'd absolutely hate to separate my boys, especially labeling one as slow. I probably would send both kids to one school that was able to handle both of them. Easy to say for me given the hypothetical situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:41 PM Flag
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My friends twins have this situation. One twin is dyslexic and goes to a special school. The other twin and their sister go to a different private school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:44 PM Flag
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My friend's dc were in the same situation, one had a very hard time studying, he barely got into a college following the footsteps of the older twin. Guess what, both of them are doctors now, a lot of people attribute it to the younger one always looking up to the eldest. That's purely anecdotal of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:38 PM Flag
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Bay Ridge Prep could probably teach both kids, but you would want to move out to Brooklyn. Our child with an LD goes there. It is mainstream but they support all the kids with additional needs through specialized programs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:51 PM Flag
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Thank you. We’d have to sell our apartment so would prefer to stay in nyc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 11:02 PM Flag
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Mom of gifted child with language-based LDs here. My story may help: we were counseled out of TT private in K. Well meaning staff and teachers. BUT they do not teach this population so don't take it personally. Things you need to accept: 1. Your children will have vastly different trajectories including college and career. It's fine. They will be fine. 2. Teachers at mainstream schools know nothing. Get thee to a great neuropsych. The best is David Salsberg at NYPALS. He's the best in that he is good at complex cases and with gifted kids -- and most importantly he is good at fighting the DOE on your behalf should your case be one of the few (like 1 in 100) that ends up at trial. (You will be suing the DOE for tuition reimbursement each year and you will win). Do not use Regina Skyer's lawfirm unless you are fine with them dragging their feet for months and months. 3. Each specialized SN schools will not take your kid if they are not the perfect fit. The only exception is Gateway, they take kids they know they have to counsel out (and will blame the parent, counsel you out mid year when there is no school to jump to, and in some cases not reimburse your tuition). Stay far away from Gateway. All other schools but for Gateway and Lang are decent and some are downright fantastic. 4. Do not be that parent who is in denial. None of these schools take your kid and then keep them there when they should be mainstream. It doesn't happen. You can't see the issues. You don't have the education. You have to trust the very bright SN educators to know what they're talking about when it comes to LDs. 5. If the neuropsych recommends meds or if the school recommends meds do not be that parent who is in denial. If your DC needs meds go to Roy Boorady at Child Mind. He is on the do-or-die list. Most psychs are idiots, even top ones. Save you and your family the heart ache and plunk down the money to see the best (Boorady). 6. Listen listen listen to the specialists. You have to be an investigator and an advocate for your child. Again, do not be in denial. That is the worst thing for your kid. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:03 PM Flag
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Thanks so much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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Of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:45 AM Flag
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Not true about Gateway. The kids who were counseled out did not belong there. They had other issues and families were mad about being asked to leave and look at other schools. They were in denial too. We are at Gateway and It is very warm place, best teachers. The kids now there very much belong there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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Look my DC doesn't go to either Gateway or Lang. But I am in a SN parents group and there are literally a dozen or more families with Gateway horror stories. They say Gateway takes kids in the early years (K-2) that they KNOW they will counsel out later on. The reason for this is that most kids with LDs do not present until 2nd grade onward. But Gateway needs to fill seats in K-2 so they take kids who are not a fit as well as kids who are a fit. And then counsel out the families who are not a fit. Whether this is accurate or not who knows but what is fact is that there are tons of families who feel aggrieved by Gateway. So buyer beware. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:44 AM Flag
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We are a current Gateway family, starting from the Lower School, and now in the Middle School. First, I doubt there were dozens of families who have said this. If you know the families personally and the children too, as many at the school did (Gateway is a very small school), then you would know these kids are much happier and better supported in their current schools than they had been at Gateway. It was not a good fit. Gateway’s profile for whom they can help is narrow. I suspect you don’t know the families personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:28 AM Flag
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Gateway only started kicking families out when they changed the profile of the kids they wanted to serve. This is under their new administration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:42 AM Flag
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True. That is why the school is filled with kids with the right profile now, because you are right they did change. It is better for all involved. If you know SN schools or any private schools there is always shuffling in 3rd grade anyway. These families think it’s a conspiracy but that is not true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 03:29 AM Flag
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This is true at Gaynor. Many are counseled out by 3rd. It is hard to diagnose them when they are so young! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:41 AM Flag
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OP - how would I join the SN parents group? Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:35 PM Flag
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I am a mother of a kid with SN and a psychiatrist, who is not an idiot. Pointing out that name calling is not helpful. I know Roy personally and professionally and know that he would,d be appalled by that statement. If this struggling mom can't get in to see him, she is going to feel that she has failed her kid. Please be nicer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 12:23 AM Flag
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+1 psychiatrist here. Boorady isn't the only game in town. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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Great. I'm glad there's enough work for all of you. Meanwhile, I will continue to recommend people go to Roy and only Roy at any cost. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:37 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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I'm sure Boorady would be distressed to learn that he's on the NYC SN parents' do-or-die list. And yes many child psychs are idiots. Sounds like I touched a nerve with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:36 AM Flag
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Yup. Boorady was awful with us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 03:18 AM Flag
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that is like not even possible. nice try though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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OP I wish I could call you to chat. What age so see Salsberg and what age to start meds? I’m open to anything but where do we go from here? I don’t want to bounce DS around too much but don’t know where he should go in September [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 12:34 AM Flag
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Salsberg is I think age 5 and up. There's another woman in Brooklyn who is as equally as good but I forgot her name. I would call his office and see when he's going to start seeing patients again. He's also fairly good at guiding the child toward the right schools. The good news is that you don't have to tour a ton of SN schools. Unlike with mainstream privates you send your NP report to the schools and if your child fits the profile they will take next steps... The NP report is like your bible. Once you have it, you use it to get services for your DC. It informs everything you do. Otherwise you have teachers, doctors, counselors, etc all with their 'diagnosis' but the NP is the diagnosis and Salsberg is good at diagnosing. Once you have the DX you then can move forward in a constructive way. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:41 AM Flag
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^ and sorry if I wasn't clear. I would not approach any other providers (psychiatrists, tutors, etc) until you have the NP. That is what they all want to see to know how to treat the child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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Thanks for all of this. It is so confusing to know what to do first and next xx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:39 PM Flag
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Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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Try Dr Janet Jackson. She is great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 03:18 AM Flag
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Salsberg reputation about being the best with complicated kids is just him refusing to label children when they are on the spectrum. It makes the parents feel better when he says “Your child is complicated!” His real value comes from testifying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:31 AM Flag
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Boorady was terrible with us and we left and found a wonderful local practice. Waste of $6k seeing him. Please don’t represent him as the best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:37 AM Flag
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I'm sorry for your situation. I am an identical twin and because my parents moved around a ton growing up, my sister and I went to a number of elementary schools. Sometimes we were in the same class and sometimes in different classes. I have to say, it was a far better experience to be in different classes and I don't think it would have been terrible to be in different schools even. It's a lot of pressure on BOTH twins when one is struggling. I know it will be a difficult conversation to be had with you kids and my heart honestly breaks for you, but in the end it will be for the better and your boys will adapt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:28 PM Flag
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Interesting perspective [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:42 PM Flag
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Ohhh, thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so worried about our precious boys and what the future holds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 07:22 PM Flag
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I would get a full educational/neuropsych done so that you can figure out what the LD and issues are. If Windward was suggested, do they feel there is dyslexia and language based processing issues? Windward has great results and some choose to stay through 8th. Is the private through 12th? Your other option is the Windward westchester campus and move to the burbs. Some districts are great at handling LDs. If you consider that, I would klook at Bronxville, Irvington, and Edgemont. Windward sends a lot of kids to Edgemont; it came up at orientation once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 09:53 PM Flag
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Thanks. What is the age when they can really diagnose this stuff? Our report was not conclusive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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Age 6 is fine. It's often inconclusive before then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 02:10 AM Flag
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I have the same with my twins who are now 10. The issue doesn’t go away you just have to be adaptive. I can only say try testing the water for a year and assessing the situation annually. Don’t be forced in to making long term decisions as both twins will change a lot. I first had this issue in K when one of my twins got in to a great school and although the other one should have been sibling’ed in the school said the other twin probably would be able to cope. I forced the issue because I couldn’t face separating them and they accepted both of them. The less advanced twin has struggled but we made sure he had additional support in and outside of school and he has been OK. But every year we have discussions about holding him back a year, changing the support model, and more importantly if he is happy. Each year presents different challenges. I would try and keep them together while the academic requirements are more forgiving meaning K, 1st and 2nd Grade. You will like need to reassess the situation around 3rd grade when the academic heat gets turned up a little (state tests etc). I'm sorry this site doesn't have a private chat as I know this is really upsetting and I would love to offer you some support from an old twin perspective but in answer to your last question it's definitely all going to be OK. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 03:04 PM Flag
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OP thank you very much for this kind response. The situation we’re in now is that we have no plan for September for one of our DCs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:38 PM Flag
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My advice is to try and push the social side of this out of your mind. Thinking about how to explain why they are not together or a grade behind the other or what it would be like when one goes to college and the other is still in high school and whether one will get a better education that the other. The reality is they will be fine apart, may be even better apart (there are studies on this) and focus on them as little individuals. And where ever the other one ends up just push for as much support as you can and consider it only for a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:57 AM Flag
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Thanks so much. You’re right and I’ve got to stop wallowing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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I'd try Windward for a couple of years, and then, if appropriate, seriously consider a move to a good, large-ish school district where both kids could be in the same school (but not the same classes). I think it won't matter at such a young age, but unless SN DC is mainstreamed before middle school, it could create tensions. In addition, suburbs have more emphasis on sports and other extra-curriculars where your SN DC might shine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 03:05 PM Flag
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Thanks this is very good perspective [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:36 PM Flag
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