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06.04.20, 23:11 PM General Topics
12 replies
DH and I will have 50/50 custody of kids. I am sad and will be missing my DCs, so what are some ideas of hobbies I could pick up to fill the times I am alone? If you had more free time, what would you do? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.04.20, 11:11 PM Flag
 

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I am sorry. Lots of people will try to spin it to you that you have "time for you", but it's painful. Try to get organized, recharge, exercise, join a reading group, date? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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op: thank you. Those are all great ideas. I am looking forward to getting really organized. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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I was so much more organized when dc's father used to honor his visitation. He has stopped. So I know both experiences have their pluses and minuses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:36 PM Flag
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op: I could see that. Why did he stop? DCs dad is adamant about 50/50 but I wonder if he will eventually not take all of his time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:49 PM Flag
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His visits were 60-70% to inconvenience or hurt me. I think he finally got over trying to get over on me. Also dc turned into a tween, hates the outdoors, hates sports and is basically the opposite sort of male his father is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:57 PM Flag
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Op: I see. I'm sorry to hear that - I hope your DC is doing okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:04 AM Flag
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My friends who are divorced definitely had an adjustment period. But they all adjusted quite nicely. They use their days without their kids to get errands done, doctor's appts, meet friends for dinner, sometimes go away for a weekend out of town. They also take classes, go to book club, etc. I bet you'll find plenty of stuff to fill your time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:59 PM Flag
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Also- dating! You'll eventually be glad to have the time to have your own romantic relationships. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:04 AM Flag
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op: yes, that's true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:06 AM Flag
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op: thank you. I hope so! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:05 AM Flag
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First of all, I'm sorry. This is a loss. One way to frame it for yourself is to super-charge your parenting batteries when you're not with the kids so you can be the most relaxed, patient, well-rounded parent possible when you are with them. Secondly, I say this here all of the time but glassblowing is a great hobby. The first time I went I mentioned on the way out that I have a very high stress job that usually takes up all of my mental energy and that I was amazed that I had not had a single thought outside of glassblowing for 45 minutes straight. (The molten glass sags if it's not in constant motion and it is critical to be mindful of your own safety and everyone else's safety, all of which requires absolute concentration.) The manager said: Yeah, we get a lot of pilots, lawyers and surgeons who come here on their off days to mentally unplug. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:27 AM Flag
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op: very cool! Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:36 AM Flag
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