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06.04.20, 20:46 PM General Topics
32 replies
DH and I are splitting up. He finally told his parents, whom I have a good relationship with, and apparently my MIL asked is if I would be giving back the jewelry she gave me over the years. We've been married for 15 years with 3 kids, so it's not a short relationship. I'm okay with giving it back, but isn't that a bit awkward? Have you heard of this? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.04.20, 08:46 PM Flag
 

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Yes. Inappropriate in my opinion. You are still the mother of her grandkids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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op: I'm honestly really surprised. My parents gave DH a really expensive and sentimental piece of jewelry on our wedding day and I can't imagine they would ever even bring it up- why would they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 08:57 PM Flag
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If you were truly okay with giving it back you would not even be posting this. Now, your parents are better than his? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:47 PM Flag
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op: no, I am trying to wrap my head around their thought process. I am okay with giving it back because I don't normally wear it and it's obviously important to her. But deep down I guess I am hurt that that is what she cares about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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The thought process is MIL is a bitch who has not yet grasped the severity of what is happening to her son's family. Since her "investment" in you did not pan out she wants her cash back. Adjust your expectations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 05:22 AM Flag
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Really weird how that was her first thought! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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Just tell her that you are saving all the jewelry for her grandchildren, in writing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 08:56 PM Flag
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op: I have 3 boys, so it would be for my future DILs, I guess (or their daughters). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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Exactly. Princess Diana left her jewelry to her sons. It's a perfect out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:18 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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This. Do it OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 04:06 AM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 06:41 AM Flag
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Did she give you family pieces? Or is it just stuff she gave you as gifts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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op: she travels a lot and they are mostly pieces that she picked up in different countries, but nothing that was given to by her a family member or had been in the family before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:14 PM Flag
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Oh, then that is totally wrong of her to ask! She bought the pieces FOR YOU! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:27 PM Flag
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FOR REAL. I find her request gross and inappropriate. It is petty and hurtful. Who does that??? It would be a different idea if she'd given you her family heirlooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 12:19 AM Flag
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My MIL hasn't spoken to me in 3 years since I broke up with my DH. We were very close and I did everything for her. It is hurtful but I guess it is the way it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:15 PM Flag
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op: that's sad. Did you have kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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Ask for all the gifts back that you have given her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:39 PM Flag
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Seriously. These were gifts, not heirlooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:28 PM Flag
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OMG this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:14 AM Flag
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thats really strange. agreed say youre saving for future daughter in laws. unless its a family heirloom piece of theirs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:48 PM Flag
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If they were gifts she doesn't have the right to get them back! What a jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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Just ignore the request. She didn't make it directly to you, you don't even know for sure that she made the request at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:02 PM Flag
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ITA on ignore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 03:14 AM Flag
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People are crazy around divorce. She's probably really sad and upset. I'd just send her back the jewelry with a super-kind note, something about how glad you are that your DCs have her as a grandmother and that won't change. I'm sure you have other drama to keep you busy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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That’s awful - just give it back. You don’t want to be petty, like her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 10:32 PM Flag
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It strikes me as hostile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:46 PM Flag
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^^But I guess it depends on how he has presented the divorce to his mother. If he said, "She is leaving me. I am heartbroken" or "She is leaving me for another man" that might explain her response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.20, 11:47 PM Flag
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That's super strange and upsetting. Some people act very weird about divorce, maybe in her eyes it's unacceptable.....that's too bad. My MIL told me that when she filed to divorce my DH's father, her former MIL never spoke to her again - and she had known her since she was a child, it really hurt at the time. Try not to take it personally but unfortunately some people view the relationship as done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 01:21 AM Flag
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Yikes. I'm sorry. Are you getting this from DH? Could he be making this up to be vindictive or to help him fund the divorce? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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Keep it. You may have tough financial times, it’s yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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