< Return to Talk
06.03.20, 16:10 PM General Topics
25 replies
Some advice on starting over please: I am 51, have wanted to come back to NYC since I had to leave the city 5 yrs ago. But now it does not seem a feasible option. Where would you look on the east coast? A place where I'd be able to find a job, maybe not as expensive as NYC, safe, inclusive, where possibly I can move around without having to drive all the time... and (even though it's never easy) I may be able to make some friends. Recently divorced and not sure where I could start, it's scary at this age. I just know for a fact I do not want to stay where I am now (because of the mentality, lack of culture, weather and no ties). Thanks for any honest advice. I ask here because apart from NYC and maybe a bit D.C. I don't know a lot of other places/states too well. For example how is Philadelphia? Or Boston? Thank you. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:10 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
You are not divorced, though you post about the idea of divorcing constantly. You post constantly about the same couple of situations. Even a casual reader of this site like me can recognize your story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:13 PM Flag
»
^^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:16 PM Flag
»
op- thanks for your feedback. I am divorced and have probably posted before but not constantly - although not immediately I will try to move by next spring. So I am doing some research. My kids are in college, west coast, and not a part of the country I would move to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:27 PM Flag
»
Ok, I recognize too. Aren't you from Western Europe? I would just let ds finish HS where you are, and move back home. It doesn't sound like the U.S. in general is the best place for you. I'm an immigrant too, and if I couldn't live in NYC comfortably, I would leave to go back home (which luckily is a great option)! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:22 PM Flag
»
op- Thanks, but not same person. My kids are in college. I agree that NYC is crazy expensive and this is another reason why I decided to look at other places. But would like to stay on the east coast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:30 PM Flag
»
^ I could probably afford a one bedroom apt (buy) in NYC, but the other expenses add up. So I would look into it a year from now, depending on how things look and hoping maybe real estate prices go down a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:45 PM Flag
»
I don't know why you need to buy, and what kind of job are you looking for? As an immigrant, I think that NYC is still the best choice (friendships, culture). Other places seem too edgy or closed off. The beauty about vrbo/airbnb/homeaway is that you can sample different neighborhoods and cities. You would probably qualify for a number of middle-income Mitchell Lama co-ops and rentals, I would start the minute you have an NYC address. And there are many areas of Manhattan/Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx I would consider. If you don't need a full-service doorman building, and you are open to a smaller co-op, 1 br doesn't have to cost the earth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:50 PM Flag
»
I don't know why you need to buy, and what kind of job are you looking for? As an immigrant, I think that NYC is still the best choice (friendships, culture). Other places seem too edgy or closed off. The beauty about vrbo/airbnb/homeaway is that you can sample different neighborhoods and cities. You would probably qualify for a number of middle-income Mitchell Lama co-ops and rentals, I would start the minute you have an NYC address. And there are many areas of Manhattan/Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx I would consider. If you don't need a full-service doorman building, and you are open to a smaller co-op, 1 br doesn't have to cost the earth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:50 PM Flag
»
^^ also look for HDFC units in prime areas. https://streeteasy.com/building/114-east-98-street-new_york/2r [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:52 PM Flag
»
There seem to be a lot of listings like this on UES. https://streeteasy.com/building/420-east-72-street-new_york/8d [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:53 PM Flag
»
Fewer picking on UES. But stuff like this. https://streeteasy.com/building/46-west-65-street-new_york/5d [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:54 PM Flag
»
UWS, I meant. If you don't have to financially support your dcs, make a budget. 1br co-op in the 500k range, with ~1200 maintenance (assume 5% increase yearly). Can you bring in at least 30k annually, pay 500k cash for a co-op? Always good to make income as you can bump up your SS income after 65. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:56 PM Flag
»
op- thank you for this. I am not a good planner financially, but this all makes a lot of sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 05:42 PM Flag
»
Fewer picking on UES. But stuff like this. https://streeteasy.com/building/46-west-65-street-new_york/5d [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:54 PM Flag
»
op- thank you, great listing. Although a bit worried about renovations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:58 PM Flag
»
np -- so cute! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 11:54 PM Flag
»
I'be lived in Boston for a few years. It's not appreciably cheaper and it's not an easy place to make friends. Sorry not very encouraging, but this was my experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:38 PM Flag
»
op- it helps, thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:42 PM Flag
»
If you mean northeast, it's all pretty expensive unless you go into Maine. There are lots of inexpensive east coast areas in the south. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 04:56 PM Flag
»
NH too, although it's a lot more conservative than any of the other places OP mentioned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 10:16 PM Flag
»
Philly or Jersey City - walkable, friendly, a bit more affordable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 07:51 PM Flag
»
Philly is pretty affordable, not easy to meet natives as they can be cliquey but there are always transplants looking for other friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 11:22 PM Flag
»
That wasn't my experience, the natives welcomed me with open arms, but I was in my 20s, not 50s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.20, 11:38 PM Flag
»
Philly suburbs are tough/ clicky. But there are lots of people in the city -- including older singles -- who are social and open to new friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.20, 12:06 AM Flag
»
op- thanks, I will def look at Philadelphia. Is the city safe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.20, 10:54 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions