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07.24.13, 18:10 PM General Topics
74 replies
What is wrong with Kate's baby his eyes look swollen. Why aren't they ever open? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.24.13, 06:10 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Could be sensitive from the silver nitrate drops. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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EVER open? The kid's about 5 minutes old, relax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:12 PM Flag
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OP my DB's eyes were always open after he was born. That baby seems heavily sedated or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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Let me guess your DB is 99x3, G&T, HYP-bound top of the pops now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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Sounds more like yours was on crack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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That baby looks like most newborns to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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How sad that your baby didn't sleep. Did you take him or her to see a sleep specialist? That would have really worried me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:12 PM Flag
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How did you keep db's eyes moist? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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Visine Jr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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um, because its a fucking newborn. maybe you should have laid off the meth when you were nursing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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bahahaha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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OMG this I just posted the same thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:43 PM Flag
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Oh, so your baby never slept? How sad. Maybe you should have put the crack pipe down sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:42 PM Flag
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Perhaps because he's a day old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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Sheeit, and he can't even talk or anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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What a dumbass little baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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I speak English better than that dumbass baby and it's his English. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:08 PM Flag
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Maybe he was switched at birth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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That baby isn't English he is German [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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Why is that baby bald? What's wrong with his hair? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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They should have had the decency to put a wig on him before leaving the hospital. For shame! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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A white curled one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:33 PM Flag
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And a little robe with frills at the collar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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Only if he's already become a barrister. Not sure if he's been able to do that yet, what with all the slacking off and closed eyes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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And not speaking English, don't forget that. Harrumph! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:35 PM Flag
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We can only pray he'll catch up one day. I mean, not to OP's baby, of course, but maybe he'll be functional enough to learn to read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:36 PM Flag
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We can only hope. Poor thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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Well, he probably doesn't need to read anyway. Don't they have servants for that sort of thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:30 PM Flag
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This is true, but he should try to learn so he can be sure the servants aren't trying to trick him about what they are reading to him (I think I saw that in a movie once). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:38 PM Flag
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Did you have babies? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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op: yes I have 1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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Was yours alert 24/7, outdoors, right from the start? That's pretty incredible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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She just said her dc's eyes were "always" open. Oddly, OP apparently was not disturbed by this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:20 PM Flag
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Hahaha. OP, worry about your non-blinking monster baby instead, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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LOL i am laughing (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:36 PM Flag
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pp LOL!!!! Admittedly I chuckled at my own joke. But with "monster baby" youve taken the whole thing up a comedic knotch. Good team work, us! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:41 PM Flag
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Yes matter of fact. He starting speaking very young too so I think his brain was higher functioning from the start. Not surprising since his mother is in Mensa and his father has 2 degrees from Harvard. That baby seems too inactive to be healthy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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LOL okay OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:26 PM Flag
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WTH FAKKKEEEE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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A crack baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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Are there new pictures? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:12 PM Flag
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Am I the only one who is really disturbed at the thought of OP's bug-eyed baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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Lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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He was very alert - not literally "bug eyed" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:30 PM Flag
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So are a lot of newborns, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with one who is sleeping. Stop patting yourself on the back for god-knows-what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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He had catlike reflexes. He could catch a bullet between his teeth, which came in when he was 2 hrs old. He could snag a fly with his telescopic tongue from 8 feet away. He healed from his circumcision in minutes. He ate his own placenta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:35 PM Flag
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LMAO, I just spit my tea!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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No blinks = no smarts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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This entire post has me lmao. Thanks OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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+1, although I may have nightmares about OP's praying mantis newborn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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Lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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Don't worry, it only snaps the head off of males. And they never hear the ninja baby coming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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ITS EYES ARE ALWAYS OPEN.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:38 PM Flag
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It has specialized reptilian glands that spritz its ever-open eyes with lubricating mucus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:39 PM Flag
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I keep picturing Jurassic Park when those dinosaurs killed Newman from Seinfeld by spitting that crap in his eyes... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:40 PM Flag
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OMG could this post get any funnier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:33 PM Flag
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If, and only if, OP posts a picture of the genius alien baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:44 PM Flag
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I now have tears streaming from my eyes. Keep the jokes coming! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:44 PM Flag
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OP here: here you go, ladies, stop making fun of my DB - http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=picture+of+animals+with+bug+eyes&id=44DBD2D3BB832B7A01801F2E002C09400CC358D7&FORM=IQFRBA#view=detail&id=44DBD2D3BB832B7A01801F2E002C09400CC358D7&selectedIndex=0 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:38 PM Flag
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Precious! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:40 PM Flag
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Aaaahhhhh!!!! Well played, op! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:49 PM Flag
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LOL it wasn't really OP!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:46 PM Flag
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me too, lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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OP: I am sure your DCs are developmentally on track but if you had a child of superior intelligence for his age you would know the difference. Most babies lay there doing nothing and my child was already starting to engage with his surroundings. I attribute this to my diet (very high omega 3 and vitamin D) and our genes, especially DH's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 06:59 PM Flag
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OP: he can complete an easy sudoku and he is only 5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 07:00 PM Flag
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OP, you are making this too easy. Come off it already. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 07:01 PM Flag
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OP: He killed him a bar when he was only 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 07:04 PM Flag
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Thanks for this. This post is one of the more hilarious ones on UB recently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 07:15 PM Flag
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OP: you're welcome! It has been getting a little stale around here hasn't it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.13, 08:11 PM Flag
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