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06.05.08, 04:17 AM NY Schools
41 replies
I know this shouldn't matter, but I can't help feeling a wash of judgment from people when I tell them DD is going to a so-called 3rd tier private. DD is a Hunter round 2 ding, 99 OLSAT kid and we are waiting on NEST and Anderson results, but in the meantime we are set to do pre-K at a 3rd tier private. DD is too young for private K. We did't have many options for pre-K as not many ongoings even have them. In retrospect maybe I could have held her and waited to apply for private K next year but I do like this 3rd tier school, I do. Just don't like the assumptions people seem to be making when I say that she is going there. or is it all in my screwed-up head? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 06.05.08, 04:17 AM Flag
 

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So what's your problem? You like the school. That's great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:19 AM Flag
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don't let the elevator break you down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:20 AM Flag
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Let's go crazy! Let's get nuts! Let's look for the purple banana 'til they put us in the truck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:24 AM Flag
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You are a bit of a snob... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:21 AM Flag
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OP: Yes, a bit. But I don't have anythign to personally be snobby about! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:24 AM Flag
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Then get over it. It is only Pre-K!!! You can re-apply next year. Send your kid to enrichment programs (bilingual birdies, music, art, ballet) to pump up their resume/IQ score. Contract an educational consultant to help you navigate the private school application process. You can get into an Ivy League even if you don't attend a 1st tier pre-k program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:27 AM Flag
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resume for a 4 y.o. scary!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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Sounds like you need a bit thicker skin. How long have you lived in NYC? Look, even whatever school your kids go to, there will always be some a-hole that gives you shit. Our two kids go to Horace Mann (started in pre-k) and there is not a week that goes by that some mother starts bashing the school and telling me how much better whatever school her kids go to is. Its just a sign of people being insecure and shallow. Personally, I could care less where my friends' kids go to school (I just hope they are happy kids and that they are getting a good education). Do what YOU feel is best for your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:37 AM Flag
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maybe you need some new friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:48 AM Flag
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OP: It's more the folks I run into randomly than the friends. Other moms at classes and playgroups and playground. Some folks at work. Stuff like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:52 AM Flag
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At work? Most people don't give a crap about schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 05:01 AM Flag
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Luckily, you will get new friends from your child's tier three school. After all, you'll have to socialize with the parents on playdates. Hope you can stand to associate with them... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:52 AM Flag
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OP: You know, when I once posted that I was concerned I was making a mistake sending DD to a so-called 3rd tier w/ her scores as they were, people said there must be something wrong with me or DH that a high scoring kid got into only 3rd tier. Of course they didn't realize it was pre-K. Then they said I should keep her in preschool, but they didn't realize she isn't in preschool. I pointed it out and got flamed for being the wrong sort of parent. People on this board AND in life seem to be trying to make me feel lesser because of the "status" of my kid's school. Finally it's starting to bother me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:57 AM Flag
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What school is it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 05:01 AM Flag
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Marymount [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Oh - that's a very good school. What's your worry? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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seriously get over it. MM is a great school. I have a friend whose dd was wl there and she is an amzing child. bright, well mannered, great family. everyone should be so lucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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^^^^Not OP. Someone posted for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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First of all, we loved that school. Second, our dc got dinged by Marymount. I think you may be reading way too much into what people say and seeing something that's not there. Personally, I'd think that anyone who is going there is lucky, down-to-earth and will be very very happy with their choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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I just posted below and that was the UB "3rd tier" that was our second choice. That is a fabulous school and there is no way in hell I would send my dd to NEST or Anderson or Hunter over MM. Just my two cents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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My 99.9 goes to Hewitt. There is nothing wrong with her and *we* applied for K. Your first mistake is using the term "3rd tier." I agree that our schools are not UB TT, but they are great, college prep schools which have tremendour resources to offer our daughters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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I know a lot of wonderful women who graduated from Hewitt - back in the day when Hewitt was far less competetive to get into. UB posters have their proverbial heads up their a**es [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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My recommendation: Stop coming to UB. Seriously. It will only intensify your anxiety. All of us have our anxieties about our options, our decisions, our choices. It's better to trust your own judgment and focus on feeling positive about your choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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ita. you care too much what other people think and when you don't know what they think, you assume that they are judging you. if your child is a good fit for the school, that's the end of the story. you should feel glad about that and best of luck to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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Stop caring what other people think. That lesson is more important for your daughter than whatever school she goes to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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I disagree. we felt similarly about the school we got, and dropped it for a selective public in the end. I just couldn't deal with sending dc to a lesser school since she is smarter than most and could've done better. didn't want to trade up later and didn't want to go around saying how thrilled we were with the lesser school. felt she could do better, and decided to opt out for now. do what your gut tells you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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OP's gut tells her she likes the lesser school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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well obviously she is not sold on it. she feels it is lesser and should not spend the money on it if she is going to be making excuses for it over the next 13 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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Many of us really don't think that privates are "lesser" than pretty much any public NYC experience: case in point...the mess and unpredictablility of the DOE rules and regs each year. That is enough, by itself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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You have to realize that people will judge you for all kinds of things. Don't focus so much on scores of a 4 year old. You are very fortunate to have gotten a pre-K spot, period. If you think the school is the right choice for your dd (forgetting the scores) and your family, consider yourself very lucky and don't pay attention to the detractors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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You're right it shouldn't matter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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i think a lot of this is you projecting. either be happy withyour choice and ingore other people, or get ready for a lot of unecesary stress [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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What do people do to make you feel judged? I don't think they care as much as you think they do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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I was so very careful with where to send my daughter and in the end it made no difference. The school looked great and it all seemed so right with all of the right programs and people but it was not a good fit for several reasons. We moved schools to one I hated upon first look but has ended up being a great match and my daughter is happy there - tho the place is not as admired as the first school. Go figure - you can't tell from the outside or until you are there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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Interesting. Please share some of the reasons why you felt ultimately that you had to change schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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You can always apply for K this fall somewhere else, but MM is not 3rd tier. I thought your dc was at Dwight or BWL. As long as MM can accommodate kids who are more fast paced than the others, I think it should be fine. I do think peer group is important (I'm in school now and it's frustrating and demotivating to me when the others frown upon deeper investigation of a topic, asking more questions, or others slowing the pace down significantly... )... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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you know what, you just needed to behave like those that are dissing OP's school didn't you? Rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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I don't know what your beef is, but whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Even a "3rd tier" private will be better than NEST or Anderson. If you can afford it for it. People on here are stupid about this and I am sure there will be many many high scoring dc at your dc's school. Our second choice was a UB 3rd Tier and if dd had gotten in I would have gladly sent her and known that my very smart dc was getting what she needs. Please, don;t let insecure people on here make you crazy - there are fewer people like that IRL than there are here. GL whatever you decide to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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I have a friend that has two kids in Nest and one Kid in a TT school private school. I asked her what the difference was. She said the kid that is in the private school needs the low teacher to student ratio because this kid has a harder time in school than do the siblings. So I have come to the opinion that you really can't compared Gifted and Talented schools with Gen Ed schools whether they be public or private. What works for one kid doesn't work for others. Not all kids are suited for G&T schools and conversely not all kids need the coddling and extra attention that privates have to offer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Poor baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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