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06.03.08, 20:51 PM TTC
24 replies
OK-43 years old, first baby at 38, focused on career for a while, now have a yearning for one more..too old? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
TTC 06.03.08, 08:51 PM Flag
 

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Only your uterus knows the answer to that question. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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I will be 42 and having DC 3 -- very healthy & will monitor pregnancy closely. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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op: I am a Pediatric RN and am a little nervous at the prospect of issues, although issues can occur as a result of birth as well. DH is not thrilled at the notion, but I am willing to take a chance...my Mom had me when she was 42 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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BTW, did you conceive naturally or IVF? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:04 PM Flag
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Not too old ONLY if you have the finances to get preg without draining family resources, and the health and youthful spouse to ensure family life continues until both children are established as adults. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:53 PM Flag
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np: ITDA with all of this. Finances have nothing to do with OP's situation verus any other mother's. And a healthy and youthful spouse ensures nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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op: Amen to that...my husband is younger than me, eats badly and has cholesterol through the roof-I am convinced that he is a heart attack waiting to happen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:56 PM Flag
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Say he HAD (god forbid) had a heart attack. Would you factor that in to a decision to have more children? It doesn't matter which way it would make you lean - pro or con more kids - but it's disingenous to say it isn't at all a factor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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OP: it can be a factor, but if we all plan for the perfect circumstances in order to move on with life, none of us would ever do anything...think of all the people who died on 9/11 and in other unforeseen events... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:03 PM Flag
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np: You sound like a pragmatic person, which I think makes a good parent. Go for it@ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:08 PM Flag
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Finances have everything to do with it. Selfish to divert DC#1's college fund to do multiple rounds of IVF. Maybe OP will get lucky and do it the old-fashioned way, but my guess is she will need a little help - most 43 year olds would. And two healthy parents and a younger (or at least not older) spouse would improve your odds of having a stable family life for longer, alhtough obviously not guarantee it. If spouse is, say, in mid-sixties and in poor health, I think it would be a very different decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:57 PM Flag
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But the thing with the finances has nothing to do with age! And old men have babies with really young women, why does OP have a different threshold than those women? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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I'm just listing the things I would think of. I am being presumptuous and assuming that OP, like many, many 43 year olds, may have trouble getting pregnant without intervention. You have to think in advance about how much $$ you'd be willing to lay out, and how that would affect your current children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:01 PM Flag
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You have obviously never had or known any women with DHs who can't work to their full capacity. very naive to underestimate the importance of a DH's mental and physical health as one's partner incl childcare partner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:58 PM Flag
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No, my point is this has nothing to do with OP's age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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OP: first of all, any financial manager will tell you that college fund takes a back seat to retirement savings, so hopefully people are not socking enough into a college fund that could pay for IVF. I would only conceive naturally-if it is meant to happen, it will, and if not, I can accept that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:01 PM Flag
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Finances SHOULD have to do with EVERY mother's situation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:59 PM Flag
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Yes, that was my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:00 PM Flag
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oops- didn't mean to reply to you... I got that that was your point, and ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:02 PM Flag
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^^^d'oh, yes- I was confirming your position... man, it's late [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:03 PM Flag
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I don't know why this became a discussion about finances. Money and family only overlap that far. Ultimately you have to do what works best for you. I'm 43 for a few more days myself, and in a very similar situation as you are. We had our first when I was 41 and we're considering "last call" for a second one. A few mcs later, it's been a tough call - and we've decided, if it works great, if not we have a terrific dc #1. It's doable. I know others who have done it. Should you decide to go ahead - good luck to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:39 PM Flag
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I'd say adopt. I'm sure somebody will shriek about this, but your chances of having a down's syndrome baby skyrocket once you're into your 40's. Not a risk I'd be willing to take. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:07 AM Flag
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More on Down Syndrome: http://www.nichd.nih.gov/publications/pubs/downsyndrome.cfm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:08 AM Flag
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Damn it, I keep hitting enter by accident. Anyway, at age 30 a woman has a 1 in 900 chance of having a down syndrome baby. At age 35 the risk shoots up to 1 in 400. And at age 44 a woman has a 1 in 35 risk. So you tell me... worth the risk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 01:10 AM Flag
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