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06.03.08, 11:20 AM Toddler
26 replies
Do you think Montessoris are good for a shy child? 3yo is highly verbal, but does not talk with peers and rarely with teachers. Eager to be friendly, but shy, anxious and a bit scared. She thrives on attention from adults and cuddles and affection and music. I'm afraid Montessori emphasis on individual play will leave her alone and ignored while the louder more social kids overshadow her. Anyone have experience with Montessori schools who can say if my fears are justified or unfounded? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.03.08, 11:20 AM Flag
 

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I think your fears are founded actually. As well intended as the teachers are, more social children do, I think, overshadow the quiet ones. I don't know whether you're going to find any school, montessori or not, where this doesn't happen. Dc will have to share attention with lots of others at school. Maybe dc isn't ready? maybe a personal nanny would be better? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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OP: No, she's 3 and 1/2 and really ready for preschool. She wants to be there. This is the only school she got into. We would have preferred something warmer and fuzzier, but instead she got into a large Montessori school with big classes (20 kids each). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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uhm...agree...quiet kids are....well...quiet. They don't demand lots of attention. You might want to consider Waldorf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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OP: Didn't get in to Waldorf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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In my daughter's Montessori preschool, they spend about 45 minutes on individual activities, and then the other 2-1/2 hours are the usual preschool stuff-- circle time, reading and singing, outdoor play... and the teachers are very responsive and attentive to ALL the kids regardless of their personalities. It's a VERY caring atmosphere so it might be great for your daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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OR I think most schools are a blend of philosophies-- talk to the individal school about any concerns [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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Which Montessori? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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WSMS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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OP: That's her school! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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are you saying that's where she's going next year? she'll be fine... just tell the teachers your concern and they'll encourage her to use her words (since she is so verbal).... GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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OP: yes, that's where she's going next yr. She's just incredibly shy about talking in public. Glad to hear that there's lots of singing and circle time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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well I didn't say lots, but it's really just standard preschool-- there is snack, there's going to the toilet, there' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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s working with various materials... she'll be fine. Again, talk to the teachers about bringing her into the group activities and she won't be overlooked. Also, set up some playdates with her classmates! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I hope to. We live very far away so I highly doubt anyone will come to our place. Hopefully people won't mind the one-sidedness of her always coming to their place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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I dunno, she could be in the same boat in any other school setting too. Montessori teachers can give her some direction - she won't be ignored. Maybe the small group structure will help bring her out more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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most montesoris work on socialization, and your child may shine in an atmosphere that values quiet focused individual work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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OP: I really hope so. She so desperately wants love and attention, but isn't confident speaking up for it. If nobody approaches her, she will languish in a corner and feel bad. I hate to think of her being overlooked, but she is quiet and "good" and never misbehaves in public (at home is of course another story!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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the teachers will probably approach her. the issue may be making friends with other kids, but my non-shy assertive kid has that issue too. and the answer is playdates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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OP: I do hope we can do playdates. We live very far from the school so I doubt anyone will want to come to our place, but hopefully she'll be able to have playdates with other kids near the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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go to the playgrounds in Riverside Park after school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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OP: I will try. It's very far away from our house. I work f/t and nanny has our toddler to take care of too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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I think your instincts are right. I'd find a play-based preschool where her social interaction and play are emphasized. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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OP: It's too late. This is the school she got into. There aren't open spots at other schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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ask the school if you can get some email contacts for other parents-- maybe she can have a playdate or two BEFORE school starts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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Montessori has been wonderful for our very shy child. They don't force you to do things with everybody at once, and really let the individual child choose their own path. Montessori has a respect for the child at its core, and the teachers are trained to help each child find his own comfort level. Trust the teachers and I think your child will be very happy. We love it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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At WSMS many playdates are in the park nearby after school. It doesn't even have to be oganized, you can almost always find a friend from school at Hippo playground. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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