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06.03.08, 09:51 AM General Topics
31 replies
THIS IS REALLY AWFUL. I am 10 wks pg with #3. DH and I have been having some problems and talked about splitting but plan to work things out. I just broke the news to my mother who told my grandmother. Both of them called and begged me to have an abortion and told me I am foolish to have this child. In my mind, that is NOT EVEN an option. I am really upset. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 09:51 AM Flag
 

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wow. to tell you the truth, what did you expect? You are close to becoming a single mom and are pg with #3? I think your mom and grandmother have a point, although it is your decision [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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I have made it clear this is not an option. IT is NOT the right thing to say though. I m 31 and have 2 children who I manage perfectly well. I can't believe it was even discussed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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the problems in your marriage must be really bad/big for your mother and grandmother to both say that, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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No doubt about that but we are going to try to work it out and that's what the important part is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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Unless you're rationalizing. They must feel that you are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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they are being realistic. i am not saying i agree with them, but i don't think what they said was really awful. i wouldn't want an abortion either, but i wouldn't be upset if my mom or sisters mention it as an option. you are in a bad marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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i am sure it was not what you wanted to hear - but i am also sure it was coming from a place of love for you and protectiveness [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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wow, doesn't feel that way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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think about it from their perspective, imagine *you* were your own mother and your dd was with a dh you didn't feel good about and whose relationship was rocky and was yet considering having a third child. knowing what we all know about the economic impact of divorce on women and children, they are scared for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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They obviously don't think things will work out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:55 AM Flag
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But would you say that to someone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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To my own daughter, yes, if things were that bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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NP: I would ask her if she had considered it. I wouldn't beg her to do it, I don't think. (Of course, DDs are 7 and 5, so I don't know much.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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yes to family i would [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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my parents wish they had said something to my brother who is now divorced. you cannot expect a parent not to comment about an extremely bad situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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sorry to hear that. i really hope that things work out for you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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OP- here was the email sent by my grandma: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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I'm so angry I don't know where to start. Right now I think you should consider an abortion and get your tubes tied. Get your life together .What is the matter with you? I'm very unhappy with this situation. Do something with your life besides screwing around. M [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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Whoa. What did you do, exactly? What is she referring to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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wow. you must have some serious drama in your life if your grandmother wrote you that. it's a little harsh, but perhaps you need the talking to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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she is overreacting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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overreacting to what exactly? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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Is it not your dh's baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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its ours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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I think your issues are bigger than being advised to get an abortion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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grandma is harsh!!! her gut feelings may be right-on but ouch!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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what are the "screwing around" and "unhappy" "situation" that she is referring to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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Inquiring minds want to know. OP has not been forthcoming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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They shoudl have told you to get your act togther and work things out. You already have two kids - splitting up is no longer an option [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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Of course splitting up is still an option, and it's a much better option for the children if OP's marriage is as bad as it sounds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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Since you are at 10 weeks, they kind of had to be blunt. There is not the time to be more circumspect in their approach. It sounds like they feel panicked for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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