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06.02.08, 21:27 PM General Topics
12 replies
piggyback on post about baby/ relationship/ rediness: dh and i are really really excited to start a family, ttc #1 now, but sometimes i am gripped by financial fear and wonder how we can make it work. really want to be parents, and feel totally ready in our relationship, but maybe we should keep waiting until we have more $$$. how much did $$$ have to do with your decision to have a baby? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.02.08, 09:27 PM Flag
 

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Piggybank. lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:29 PM Flag
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Not much. We knew we had just enough, and then unexpectedly but thankfully our families helped too. It's been fine. I think it was more important to do it when we both felt emotionally ready and excited. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:31 PM Flag
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yea it makes me feel dirty and sad to think that the decision to bring a child into the world should have anything to do with money. period. but that it is realistic. we are prepared for emotional/spacial/time/relationship compromises, and will compromise financially too. i like what someone said earlier about it being a "leap of faith" i felt that way about marriage too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:35 PM Flag
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Of course it is realistic, I wasn't judging you. For me, that is a much easier compromise than the emotional/time/relationship, etc. But both have been less difficult than I imagined. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:38 PM Flag
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how do you and dh/dp keep the relationship a priority? that's gotta be tough. i still want to be sexy and, well, ME to him. any strategies you recommend? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:43 PM Flag
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It is harder, but there is something amazing about seeing your dh/dw interacting with your child, when they are being a fantastic parent. This will actually bring you even closer and make your relationship more intense. Also, take as many times as you can to really connect, instead of taking each other for granted and just going through the motions of your busy lives. Even quiet, simple moments, but dates are important too. Someone once posted here that even when she is really tired and not too interested in sex, she would remind herself that nothing will cheer you up like an orgasm and a grateful dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:54 PM Flag
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This is really insightful. Good comment! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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If you keep telling yourself you want t wait until you are financially ready you never will be especially if you live in NYC. If you and dh want a family than you just make it work financially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:35 PM Flag
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Great point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:36 PM Flag
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we waited a long time, and were lucky we didn't have any problem getting pregnant. It was a big deal to me to not be under financial stress. We saved and have as low an overhead as we possibly could. It worked out fine for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:41 PM Flag
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I agree with the poster who said you'll never be ready financially. We got pg and then panicked afterwards. :) Seriously, starting a family meant we had to make choices - putting off buying a place, less frivolous spending - but it all works out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 04:49 AM Flag
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you just can't base it on money. my MIL was right when she said there is never a good time to buy a house or have a baby. but don't wait around- just do it! #1 gets the short end of the stick usually but by the time you have #2 or #3 financially you will be in a better place (hopefully) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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