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06.02.08, 12:46 PM General Topics
96 replies
I was at one of the playgrounds in Central Park this weekend and there was this mom who was watching her DD (about 5 yrs old) wait for one of the swings. The mom yelled to DD "Ask her for a turn". Is it me or is it one of those things that when you are done with the swing, it is the other kid's turn? This woman was so overbearing. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.02.08, 12:46 PM Flag
 

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you're right!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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OP: That's what I thought but I wanted to see how others viewed it. I would not take kindly so someone forcing my kid off a swing. It's not like the girl was on the swing for an hour either. She just wanted "that" swing and the mother was going to make sure she got it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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it's fine to say what she said. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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no, you wait your turn here in the real world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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np: perhaps you are unfamiliar with NYC playgrounds - where it is common and accepted behavior to ask for a turn when someone has been on for a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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Yes in NYC the mommies feel entitled therefore so do their children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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OP: You did not read my previous posting. The child on the swing was not on for an excessive amount of time. It's just that this child wanted to get on THAT swing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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? NYC mom here..there are SO many playgrounds..go to another, but the swing isnt free until the swng is free.. there are no turns! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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OP. Yes. I agree 100%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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wow. glad you are not my neighbor or friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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I am also glad not to be your neighbor as I don't care to associate with entitled people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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what? how is that entitled? not sharing is entitled. from where i am from, and i i used to live in ny, people allow their kids a certain amount of time on the swing, and then ask their kid to get off so someone else can try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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so i am lying? oh, my! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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EXACTLY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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it's nice to see someone else agrees. wow. i initially was confused with this post and the responses because i think the totaly opposite of many of these posters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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sigh. i'm the exactly poster and i too am getting flamed for knowing that community involves sharing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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i know. where are you from originally? can't believe i am spending so much time on this one post. what selfish people. and they see us as selfish. strange! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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can you believe that woman below saying she won't share resources? where was she brought up? what a witch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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It's not an issue of sharing or not sharing. It's a matter of allowing a child to complete the activity without being forced off. And yes, the fact that you feel that you have the right to take something away from someone indicates entitlement. If you (or your kid) could relax and wait they *will* get a turn. It might not be when you snap your fingers, but, oh well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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honestly, i haven't been imagining myself in the position of asking for the swing, i have been imagining that my kid is in the swing and someone wants to use it. when that is the case, then i am going to politely ask my child to take a few more swings so that the next person can get on. that is what a community is about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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again, EXACTLY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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OP: So we agree. I would also encourage my child to finish up and let the little girl have a chance. But, I definitely would not make my kid get off the swing if some mom asked my kid. It's just out of line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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np: the mom told her own dd to ask the child on the swing for a turn? why is that the same as the mom asking your kid to get off the swing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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nnp: i have the same question. the op's thinking on this is just off. it's fine to teach your child to assert herself in certain situations. sounds like the op just didn't care for the girl's mother - which is really not the issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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I am the OP. I did not care for the mom's behavior, that is true. And it is the issue. I don't think it would have ok if the child would have asked. WAIT YOUR DAMN TURN. The kid was only on the swing for a few minutes, not a half an hour! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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another selfish mom. nah, nah, na, na, naaah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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first of all, i don't think we agree. and second of all, your posts do not indicate it was about the mother. if so, then you would have said how politely you asked your kid to get off the swing before the other mom asked her kid to ask your kid to get off. sounds like the mother was too lazy to get up and tell her kid to ask your kid to get off politely. and if a 5 year poold girl is fixated on one swing, so be it. that is probably because she is nervous about asking anyone to use a swing (and sh was since she never saked and her mother told her what to do), who wouldn't be afraid to ask with people like you? it's a kid! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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np: you clearly do NOT understand the fact that some children or their caretakers will utilize a swing for more than a half an hour at a time. sorry, but that is NOT okay in a situation where there is a group of people using limited resources. i asked a caretaker once to rotate her child out because she was FEEDING HER DC LUNCH in the swing during a crowded period - using it as a high chair in the prime, pre-lunch recreation time. totally not cool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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np: i'm wondering if it's just a misunderstanding. i have dcs close in age and they often want to play with what the other one is playing with. i strongly encourage them to ask for the next turn. it's a way of notifying the user that their item is being waited for and that they someone is waiting and they can't keep it indefinitely. i think it's a healthy thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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You need to visit the City.. do you have any idae how many swings there are? Must be thousands! But even in the burbs, take your child to the sandbox if the swings are busy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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so you have to go to a whole other playgroung as someone suggested, in order to get on a frigging swing? that's what a hate about selfish nyers. and i lived there for half my life. what a differenct when i came out west. people care about other people. in fact, they talk to each other in a pleasant manner and are respectful of others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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I hear you. So why are you on this board? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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with juicy stuff like this to remind me that i made the right decision? (plus, i miss new york before the baby came) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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are you frigging serious? are you kidding? or is this a joke? because you need to teach your kid to share/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Okay when you can learn patience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Again, there is a playground with 10 swings on every block in the City. You need to leave UB if you dont understand the U part of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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how long have you lived in nyc? i've been 40 yrs. face the harsh urban laws of the swingset [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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I have lived here for 27 years and don't think that there is a law of the swingset. Must be in your head. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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okay overbearing mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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np: there is definitely swing-set etiquette - as there are standard behaviors for the other equipment. all of it helps the shared space run more smoothly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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you mjust stated a law just now. what a turkey. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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Dude, if you have been on the swings for 40 years.. im just not sure what to say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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dude, i'm a mom. go light another doobie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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and there are 8 million people and God knows how many children. get a grip. you have to share community resources in an urban setting. the urban doesn't mean license to be selfish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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shut the f**k already about sharing resources. first come first served loser [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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OH WOW. let's call you selfish mom. incredible! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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I don't "ask" anyone if they're done with the swing. my kids can wait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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selfish mom, selfish mom, selfish mom. nah, nah, na, na, naaaaaah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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mommie it's my turn!!!! i want it now!!!! go away veruka [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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not sure how this is your business. sometimes people hog the swings, when the culture of the playground generally encourages rotating out after a period on any given piece of equipment if others are waiting for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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^^ this especially happens when parents who are not familiar with the playground etiquette bring their children, as opposed to either the SAH parents or the nannies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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Don' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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This is not a SAHM issue vs WOHM issue. Parents should stop being bullies. It's a bad example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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not framing it as a sah or woh issue - used those terms to point out that some people are unfamiliar with the etiquette [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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I didn't say it was my business. I posted here to see what people thought. Yes, the playground is a group activity but as I mentioned, there were other swings and the kid could have waited patiently (there is a lesson to learn in life about waiting for things...). Someone should not be pressured off by some forceful mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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you did NOT say that tthere were other swings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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It's a playground so of course there were other swings, but all swings were being used. But, she stood in front of one swing in particular and waited. It was her mom that got all bossy, the little girl was not complaining. The entitlement is just too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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you suck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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hog the swings! lol. in the playground its first come first served [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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somewhere like NYC where there are limited resources to be shared among many, it's helpful to be thoughtful of others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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what color is the sky in your world? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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just stay in your own neighborhood and out of ours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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okay what zip code should i avoid? or is the entire city your oyster? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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if you don't know how to share resources, you shouldn't live in nyc. sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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lol do you ever venture outside your little comfort zone into reality? If you ride the subway do you ask someone to give up their seat? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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we create our reality. i am clear what yours looks like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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I guess you would be scared to ask for a seat on the train then? You just like to be overbearing and entitled in the playground [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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i'm really not sure where you're getting overbearing and entitled. it's a reciprocal thing - i share when others are waiting, and i anticipate that others will acknowledge the culture within our community and share as well. and, yes, i did ask for seats on the subway at times when i was pg. as i also give my seat up to pg women, the elderly and others when necessary. your hostility is evidence enough of your experience of things. again, you are creating your own reality - and your the one who has to live in such an unpleasant and self-focused one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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sure you do. I can just picture an uptight ass seeting because he rkid has to wait for a swing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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go uptown with your new age jargon and see what happens [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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I think the mother is wrong to say that. Children need to learn patience, as hard as it may come. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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ita! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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i ask for a turn or tell dcs to ask when the kids have been on the swing a long time. bottom line, there's nothing wrong with asking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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there's nothing wrong with refusing either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Well, I would definitely NOT let a bossy mom kick my kid off the swing. I would turn the table and ask my child if they were all done and let them get off the swing on their own accord. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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of course. who said anything about kicking off a swing. the whole point is that she wasn't demanding. she was asking for a turn. i can't believe you people that think that it's not ok to ask for a turn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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in the hood that kind of request will invite a whole lot of abuse! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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It was fine. NYC playgrounds are crowded. Kids need to learn to share. Asking for a turn is reasonable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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what if the kid has only been swinging for 2 minutes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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On the other hand, I think asking for a turn might reinforce some positive behavior in both the child who is on the swing and the child asking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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maybe so, but how will mom be able to cope with rejection? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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Mom will have to stuff it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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yes!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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OP: Best way to handle this is if you absolutely can not wait any longer then ask the child if they are almost done. But, no parent has the right to tell another child to get off a swing. A swing is an independent activity. A slide is a group activity. If your kid refuses to get off the slide, it prevents all the children from going down. If you child stays on the swing, a child can wait for one of the other ones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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ita..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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that's right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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asking someone if they are almost done is so passive aggressive. if you want a turn, ask for it. it doesn't mean the other person has to jump off and give it to you this second. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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exactly (or are you exactly mom? i bet you are since there seem to be only two of us that think alike.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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no, i'm not exactly mom. i guess there are three of us. i can't even believe that people are supporting the OP. it doesn't make any sense to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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I'm here sister! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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Let the kids work it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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General rule of thumb for me atleast - I am a dh. When I take my son to park and he goes on swing if there are more than two or three people waiting I will give him 50 - 100 pushes and then we go to back of line to wait for next available swing - that way everybody gets to have fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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I find this whole thread somewhat ridiculous. It all depends on how long the DC on the swing has been using it. It's perfectly okay to ask if s/he's been hogging it for a while... it's not okay if s/he has been on for a short time. But I for one always cue my DC when it's time to let someone else have a turn...common courtesy. Most playgrounds don't have 10 swings and it's ridiculous to suggest kids should have to travel to another one to swing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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I would only say that if the other kid had been on the swing for a really long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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