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06.02.08, 11:46 AM General Topics
24 replies
I think I'm on the verge of quitting my job to be a SAHM. Have always felt torn, but am terrified that I'll hate it, miss working, miss my friends at work, etc and be more miserable. Also, having the "cushion" of a second salary is nice even though i end up taking home only about $15-20K after taxes, nanny, etc. But, I think it would be better for dd if I were home. Any advice? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.02.08, 11:46 AM Flag
 

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Treat sah like you would your career--and before I get flamed--I mean that you have to make plans and goals for what you want to do and get done. Otherwise, sah can get very boring and lonely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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i agree. i'm a sahm. i do have a weekly plan of things dd and i do and get out regularly by myself. is there a way to take a sabbatical for a month or two from work and try it out? i like being a sahm but then again maybe i'm nuts :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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this is amazing advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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op: this is how i was when i was on maternity leave and i loved it. Also, I'm worried that dh will either resent me or expect everythign to always be in order if I'm home, which I don't think it will. I guess I'm also nervous about change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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Unless your husband is incredibly mature, at least one of these will occur if you were stay at home...I'm a SAHM for the summer and already mine is getting on me about how I have very little that I need to do, so it had better be done all the time..ie. perfect home, pay bills, etc. which I can't say I totally disagree with...he is the one working the 100+ hours/week while I'm taking ds to the zoo :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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This is my fear exactly, and I'm so good at the household stuff. Since I'm also working, the burden is on both of us, or if I don't get to do something I feel like he is more understanding. Big sigh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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meant "not so good at the household stuff". If i were good and organized about that I think I would have an easier decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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Was he like that during maternity leave? DH never questions how I spend my time. The house is in decent shape, dinner is generally made, bills are paid, so there really isn't anything for him to be concerned about though. He knows that watching children is its own kind of hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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He was great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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Yes, we're a young couple and he just didn't understand the demands of a newborn, as he was never in a position where he was the sole caretaker 24hrs/day. He has definitely improved since then, now we discuss each other's expectations and have come to agree on what each person needs to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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oops sorry I thought you were asking me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Could you consult? Start your own consulting business from home. That way you could call the shots (time, pay) and still be "working" and socialize. Maybe get a nanny one-two days per week or work something out with your dh?!?! I did this and LOVE it. You can always tell a client that you "have another commitment". They don't need to know it is a playdate:) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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I don't think I'm ambitious enough to start my own thing, though I would love to consult for someone else...happy to do the work, just not such a "salesy" person to win clients. What kind of consulting do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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Educational Consulting. I fell into during my last job. I have a PhD, though, and had a good list of clients before I left my job. Could you build anything from your current job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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What sort of consulting do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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You should not stay home unless you want to stay home, for you. You're a mother, not a martyr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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Part of me does want to stay home for me. I feel pulled in a million directions and don't feel like I'm doing a great job at anything. So this would make things a lot calmer for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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Even if you are at home, I think you will always feel like your not doing anything well. I believe that is part of motherhood. The good news is that you probably are doing an amazing job! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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thank you. this made me cry. I'm very emotional about all this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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I can totally relate. It is an impossible choice. My husband supports either choice, and says, dc will love me if I work cause he'll see his mommy living to her fullest potential BUT dc will also love spending time with me. My goal is regardless of work, to live in the moment when I'm with my baby--he has my full attention. Remember, you have the best thing down, you love your baby! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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How does that work in practical terms? For many of us, we stay home bc we think it is best for our family as a unit, not for us as individuals necessarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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i was like you. really afraid to take that step. i ended up getting downsized and it was so fantastic. i'd recommend it. especially b/c it's not like you are giving up hundreds of thousands of dollars to do it. you can always get a part time job to net a few hundred dollars a month to make up for the lost income. go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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curious, how is old your dd? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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almost 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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