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06.02.08, 11:23 AM General Topics
14 replies
Please let me know if I'm being unreasonable. I'm separated from DH and this past weekend was my weekend with the kids (4 yo and 1 yo). Neither I nor the kids heard from DH all weekend -- he did not call the 4 yo to say hi or see how she was doing, even though she left him 2 messages on his cell asking him to call her, and he never checked in with me to see if the kids were okay. I sent him one email asking about how we were going to cover childcare during a week when our nanny is on vacation and he has completely ignored it. Today he has emailed me about other things, so I know he has been checking his email. I'm so frustrated that he remains completely checked out and unresponsive during his time away from his kids. I understand his need for alone time, but he doesn't stop being their father on those weekends. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.02.08, 11:23 AM Flag
 

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leave him alone, he was probably doinking some hot young thing and didn't have time for your problems just then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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idiotic. are you so bored that you have nothing better to do then be hostile instead of helpful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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eh, it's probably happening to her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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That sounds off to me. He should at least call at night to say goodnight to the kids--definitely the 4 yo. The phone will become a major means of communicating if only to check in with them. The calls can be two seconds long, but he should make them or you should agree with him that you'll call him before they go to bed. Set routines now. Trust me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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If you're so dependent on him why did you kick him out of the house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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she just wants him to talk to her kids and to talk about child care she's not asking for cash [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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seriously! God forbid OP wants her ex to be responsible for his own kids! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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op: I'm not dependent on him, but my kids are and it pisses me off to no end that he completely disappears on his weekends away from the kids w/o so much as a phone call. I didn't kick him out -- we agreed to separate when he made it abundantly clear that he just didn't want to be in a relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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Strange behavior, but perhaps he just needed a break from feeling responsible to everyone for everything. Try again, but don't act frustrated or angry as it will only make the situation worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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op: I know, but he's not responsible to everyone for everything. I'm a partner in a big law firm, so I can hold my own financially and otherwise. He's just an extremely immature, emotionless person and I know that I am better off without him. The fact remains, however, that he is my children's father and he should be actively involved in and concerned with their well-being, even during times that he is not physically with them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Please be sure not to blow up about him in front of your kids. It will only hurt them! They will find a way to make it "their fault." Take a deep breath and say "I never did mind the little things." Distract your kids, next time it happens--but don't make excuses for him. Clearly he's a jerk, but your kids will need to figure that out for themselves (and will eventually when they are 8-15 years old!). Try to see the positive--he is not "meddling" either. They are yours and yours alone for the weekend! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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but does he have to be actively involved when they're with you ? While I can't understand his not responding to dd's messages, I can get why he didn't respond to your email about childcare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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seriously, were you expecting anything different! I see your point but I think you need to chill too. Sounds like you are getting worked up and that means the kids were getting worked up. Is this normal behavior? or are you afraid he might have been with someone during the weekend and secretly you are getting upset over that. Relax, it's a phonecall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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remember, he doesn't have to answer to you anymore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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