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06.02.08, 08:52 AM General Topics
44 replies
help. I'm really getting restless and bored in my marriage and staying home with the kids. I know this is a phase, but I feel like I'm going crazy! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.02.08, 08:52 AM Flag
 

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bored how - like you want to be going out? or meeting a new guy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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yes, just stir crazy in my life! I feel like i have given up myself to stay home w/ the kids and given up so much to stay in my marriage...I just don't feel like myself anymore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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have you discussed thiw with him? maybe he is in the same boat and you can work on it together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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he knows something's up. I told him that i feel like i have sacrificed myself for this life. He said maybe I just need to get out with my girlfriends more often [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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he needs to understand that it's not that simple. Did you give up a career to stay home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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yes, I did. A career that I loved. I feel worthless now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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get a nanny and go back to work. nothing wrong with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I couldn't do that. I always felt like I needed to raise my own kids...I guess I just figured I'd always be happy doing that. I dont' know if I'm cut out for staying at home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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FWIW, you're not alone in that thought. I also wanted to raise kids - turned out I was not cut out for that, and I'm OK with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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what did you do? did you go back to work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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Attorney. Went back to work. Have a pretty unique situation, in that my mom is retired and decided to be the full time nanny, so to speak. Going well so far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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OP: wow, that's the perfect situation. You have someone you completely trust taking care of dc's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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it has its ups and downs - mostly a great thing, but she does feel more entitled than most to co-parent, if you know what I mean. But I feel very lucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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yes, but that guilt is temporary, in my experience. Find a good person to look after your child and see if you can have flexible work hours that allows you to put family before work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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I thought that was part of where you were coming from. It's very hard. Do you have plans to return to work, once DCs get to school? Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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and perhaps think of working part time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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yes, I plan on going back as soon as dc's are in first grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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any chance that he could take a week off of work and take care of the kids while you just veg out. That might open his eyes a little. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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he's so busy right now, it wouldn't be an option at this point. it would be nice though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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well, but you have to think of BOTH of you. You would be busy, too, but for the fact you chose to stay home for the benefit of the family [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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is he always busy or is it just now? If the former he needs to find a way to squeeze some family time into his professional life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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just right now, for a couple of months he'll be really busy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:11 AM Flag
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how long have you been married - unhappy with your dh or marriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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7 years. not the best marriage, but not the worst i gues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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how old are DC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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4 and 1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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Get out every day. Put dcs in some kind of camp or mom's day out a few days a week. Start a project--something creative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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good idea. I would feel guilty for putting my kids in a moms day out. I shouldn't, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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are you in love with him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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hmmm...good question [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I'm not being mean, but I think right NOW this has more to do with you than with him. Get yourself happy and then see what happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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OP: ITA. I go through these phases every now and then. I know it's all in my attitude. I just need to get out of this funk [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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do you like your friends? where you live? is everything ok with your kids/are they hard to raise? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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1 yo is going through a hard stage right now. I'm exhausted by him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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I don't disagree, but if she truly loves him, its one thing. If she doesn't - then its something all together different [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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if I don't love him, what do I do? I feel like I can't leave just for that. We have 2 kids together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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I also agree with you, but if you're in a serious funk or even depression, it can be very difficult to even know if you truly love someone. Sometimes you can Kinda feel it, but not always. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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yes, and i feel like I have to make it work for the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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I think that's natural if you can make it work, but a bad marriage is bad for the kids too, depending on HOW bad, divorce may be the better option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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it's not bad. We don't fight often and generally get along. I guess the passion is just gone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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have you seen a therapist? discussed this with dh? I wonder if he feels the same about the passion. I feel that can be re-invigorated with work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Find a way to improve yourself. Sounds like you're generally pretty unhappy. Make yourself happy and your relationships will follow suit. What's something you really have wanted to do for a while...take a class, pick up a hobby, go to the gym more? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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all good ideas, IMO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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I go to the gym about 4 days a week. I think I would just like a little more adult interaction. DH is super busy at work, I am at home w/ the kids from morning to night. I get together w/ friends for playdates, etc, but I feel like I would like to have more adult time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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