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06.01.08, 21:45 PM General Topics
34 replies
So, I am getting married in August. We invited friends with guests only if they knew no one else OR if they are in a serious relationsip (over a year or living together). Our Wedding is very expensive and we have a large group of friends who all know each other, so we thought that it would be okay to invite those who are not in serious relationships to come alone. We invited one friend and wrote "and guest" on his invite because he has been dating the same girl for 2 years (although we have never met her). NOW, he writes to us and tells us that he broke up with THAT girl but has a new one (like a month), that he doesnt get to see so much because she lives in another city so can he please bring HER to the wedding?!! What would you do?!!!!!!!! Let him bring her or not? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 09:45 PM Flag
 

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let him bring her if he wants to. you can't rescind the invitation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:47 PM Flag
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But the invitation was NOT for this new girl. There are other guys in that group who were not invited with a guest... now we worry that they will all start calling to bring a random guest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:48 PM Flag
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or that they will feel slighted that they could not bring someone and this guy could. I think he put us in a bad position. I would NEVER ask someone who invited me to their Wedding for something like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:49 PM Flag
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Jeez, dont be a cheap bastard. If you cant afford such a lavish wedding dont try to have one and then be stingy to your friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:49 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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Its not really about the ONE guest or the cost of the one guest. Its about the idea that now others will start to ask to bring randoms. I dont think its being cheap - the wedding is very expensive and I dont feel that I need to pay for their random dates. I dont think that is being cheap. If it were the other way around, I dont think these guys would have invited my fiancee with a guest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:52 PM Flag
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Just curious, how old are you and soon-to-be-DH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:53 PM Flag
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just say no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:56 PM Flag
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really? Is that what you would do? IF so, why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:59 PM Flag
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if they had the nerve to call me, sure i would. i'd explain that you had intended it for a specific girlfriend and you didn't realize they broke up. you don't know if he's bringing someone else or not. (or you can say that you'll leave it as it stands b/c you already sent it). you don't have to say yes jsut b/c they ask. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:04 PM Flag
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They live in a different city and I never met her. This is my fiancees friend not mine, and he did not think to get her name to put on the guest list [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:55 PM Flag
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The truth is, even if we put her name on it, and he broke up with her, he would still consider it a plus one and ask to bring the new chick [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:57 PM Flag
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I dont think that good friends would ask something like this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:53 PM Flag
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just tell them that you are at your maximum number of guests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:51 PM Flag
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i don't think other people will randomly bring a guest b/c they were not invited to bring a guest. you might be able to call up and say "i thought you were dating so-and-so really seriously so i meant the invitation to be for her. but you are welcome to bring someone else if you'd like". but i think that would be very not classy of you. if you didn't address it to her specifically, you just need to let it drop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:51 PM Flag
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ditto. WTF is "and guest"??? It was NOT specifically for this particular person, it said "and GUEST". I mean, what are you calling people's fiancees? Plus One? Go back to your trailer park . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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oh dear god you are rude! I can't believe anyone is showing up to your wedding at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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I would say ok. You had already allocated 2 spots for him so why does it matter that it's now this girl and not the other. Also I would just let is slide not worth it to quibble over stuff like this. btdt, and it's not worth it in hindsight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:49 PM Flag
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But what about the other guys... what if they start calling to bring guests too? And I think they might [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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These are my fiancees frat brothers from college and they are selfish frat boys. I feel like he cares more about seeing the girl than our Wedding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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why do you care what a selfish frat boy thinks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:52 PM Flag
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He probably does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:53 PM Flag
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why the capital W on wedding. Bridezilla [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 04:54 AM Flag
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Here's a news flash: NO ONE is coming to your wedding because they care about you more than themselves. Except maybe your mum. Get over yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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you can explain simply. but rest assured, if they are rude enough to call, you don't have to feel bad about turning them down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:52 PM Flag
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Finally. Someone who understands the feeling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:54 PM Flag
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np: what do you mean rude enough to call? If I got an invite for myself "plus guest" I would not even feel the need to call, I would just come and feel free to bring a guest, just as my invitation said!! he went extra to make sure she is ok with his particular guest, what is rude about that?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:27 PM Flag
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no, she's afraid her fiance's other friends will call and say "he got an invitation that said 'with guest', i want to bring a guest too". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:32 PM Flag
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Youve btdt - did you have drama surrounding your wedding too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:58 PM Flag
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How many are on your guest list? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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It is not really about the actual numbers of guests - its about letting him bring a random and not the others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:56 PM Flag
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Let him bring, of course. You wrote "and guest". After two years you might have attempted to find out her name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 10:32 PM Flag
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As a wedding designer who ends up as planner and shrink for many brides, my advice is just to let it go and move on. the day is about the enjoyment and if you get caught up in what's "right" or not, you will regret it. you did say "guest" and didn't specify who that guest would be... just smile graciously and let it go... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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i would agree with you if you didn't write "and guest" on his invite. you SHOULD have put her name on the invite. at my wedding, we only invited people with their serious girlfriends/boyfriends. however, you didnt bother to put her name on the invite so you are stuck with a random "and guest". you'll have to get over it. i guess ou can say "we'd rather not have a random person at our wedding who we don't know, but do what you want to do." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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