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06.01.08, 19:53 PM General Topics
84 replies
ok, here's my question. apologies in advance for the ignorance and elitism implied but i know many of you ubers who live in cities feel the same way. so, we'll have to eventually leave nyc. can't afford to buy here, can barely afford the pre-schools. dh and i are both artists (intellectuals, some would say) and we have always lived in cities among people who considered themselves liberal, creative, critical thinkers, etc. we fear moving to the suburbs b/c we won't be surrounded by people like this. i am starting to think it is my own elitism that is causing this fear. this fear is bullshit, right? i mean the sahm's i meet in my neighborhood (i am a working sahm) are sort of dull even though they are "cultured" (expose themselves to art/music/theater events). it's me, right? tell me all will be fine when we move to the suburbs. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:53 PM Flag
 

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I am you. We're intellectual liberals, I'm a working sahm. We've moved to another city, not the burbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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where? i am having trouble even doing research on other places. so busy working and taking care of db simultaneously. dh has to find a job elsewhere first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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you are really long winded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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i know. it's cause i feel guilty for admitting all of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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try the upper west side. inwood. woodstock [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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I am you and moved to Atlanta because the COL is so low. I am dying here... do not move south. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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Praise Jah! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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I now live in NYC but was in Atlanta for 5 years. There are cool people. Depending on your religious views you may want to visit the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta. They are a very open minded group. Visit East Atlanta, you will like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.09.09, 12:16 PM Flag
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i am also in atlanta after years in NYC and SF... gotta stay inside the perimeter... never leave... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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I made the wrong choice. I came from UES and didn't want to compare cities so we chose the burbs so there were no comparisons...we are in Alpharetta. While I love my physical home/yard - I am dying. It's very vanilla out here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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Alpha-freaking-retta ?! Come inside the perimeter and give up the yard... I feel for you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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I am truly dying. I'm an ex-producer and dh is a photographer. We travel a lot to make sure our kids don't end up being vanilla. We have a 3-5 year plan to move out of Atlanta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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did you come here for Turner ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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No, dh was transferred w/ his previous biz and then struck out on his own (photography) after getting here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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do you have a good group of friends ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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Sort of... 1-2 local friends who are nice but different than we are. I have closer friends back in NY and other places around the country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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kids in school ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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yes, K and preschool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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no cool women there ? my closest friends here are moms of other kids who are also from "points beyond"... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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The people here are all nice but not edgy at all - just classic suburban/vanilla couples. All nice but not much there to befriend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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i'm sorry... have you thought about moving in town ? is that possible ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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If I do move, I'm moving out of the area altogether. It's a nice city but just not for us. We miss 4 seasons, natural physical beauty, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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I hear Chapel Hill and that area is great... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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what is with all of the vanilla references? do you mean white, or just plain & boring? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.09.09, 12:37 PM Flag
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Move to Westport! So many artists and interesting people, cocktail parties, the "circuit" of East Coast intelligentia -- or a cool place like Exeter, NH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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np - Westport? I work with someone who was a musician who moved there and he hates it there. He says it's totally white bread and boring - but the schools are good for his kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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milford ct has a lot of artists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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np: seriously? i used to go there for work (on press checks for an art magazine) and had no idea. i thought it was just the pez factory, dunkin donuts, the train station, printing press, and the bayer factory. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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What about a college town, like New Paltz? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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I just visited New Paltz over the mem weekend I think it would be right up your alley [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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NP: We were there recently & it seemed like college bar town hell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:29 PM Flag
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Try New Hope, PA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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don't mean this to be flame like, but if you are indeed liberal, open minded, etc, you should not be so quick to stereotype-there's plenty of creative, liberal, intellectual people in the suburbs. At least you are self-aware of your own elitism. Also a little wary of anyone that describes themselves as intellectual (kind of like describing yourself as classy). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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Have to agree. we live in a great town on Long Island with many creative types and the art studios are fabulous out here -- a lot of old money so you can find some really interesting people. you need to get out of NYC and explore - seriously !!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Port Washington [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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egads - bikers & animal lovers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:35 PM Flag
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bikers? Are you thinking of Ghost Motorcycles? I wouldn't say that defines the town (& I'm not the original PW poster). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Agree. DH and I are liberal, but recognize that it is virtually impossible to surround ourselves with people just like ourselves (not that we really even want to!). We used to live in Manhattan, then Brooklyn, now we're in Westchester. We've met plenty of interesting people here and plenty of dull people--just like when we lived in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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where? would you recommend your town? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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ITA...I think life is what you make it...no matter where you live. And I have lived in a lot of places. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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ITA. Also live in Westchester and think the whole liberal NYC dweller is a total myth. If you look on the playgrounds in our burb, they are far more diverse than the playgrounds in Manhattan. I have found the people are nicer and very interesting who have all had interesting careers and experiences before moving here. I actually am beginning to see the City as an elitist place where the so-called liberals only want to hang out with people exactly like themselves (unless, they are paying people not like themselves to clean their houses or watch their children.) Yep, I went there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:36 PM Flag
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What town? Certainly not Katonah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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^^^Commenting on diverse playgrounds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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lower Westchester, like Mt. Pleasant, Pleasantville, even Chappaqua [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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absolutely ITA, couldn't have said it better (nyc mom relocated to NJ and much happier) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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where in NJ? (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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op: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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np - ITA, except I have had a hard time finding people like me in my suburb (in KC, Missouri). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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Amen. OP reeks of elitism masquerading as free-thinking liberal. So tired of this attitude in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.09.09, 12:43 PM Flag
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I left a very creative, edgy neighborhood in Chicago for the suburbs...and honestly have met more forward thinking, interesting people in my new town than I new in the city neighborhood. In Chicago, all the people we knew had about same level of education, we owned about the same amount of real estate...everyone was white like us. Now we live in the burbs and things are a lot different and we are grateful for the diversity and exposure to a different mindset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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^^^^...than I KNEW... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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cool! yes, this sounds right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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People in my town are more community minded than my neighbors in the city were. In the city it is easy just to retreat into your own little world. Out here everyone pretty much sends their kids to public school so we're much more invested in the community. It really shows in the level of involvement of people - town government, park district, sports teams, etc. I'm not saying it's utopia (which I do not believe in) but I am saying the suburbs don't have to be boring and in general get a bad rap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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I don't know, we get a lot of satisfaction out of the lives we lead here in Brooklyn, and not in a trendy area at all... we've managed to meet people like us and more importantly unlike us who are interesting and fuel our curiosity about the world around us. Are you guys bobos or are you actually really creative people? B/c I think you can find inspiration and beauty pretty much anywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:39 PM Flag
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^^^OTOH, if you're really unhappy here and you want a change I totally recommend North Adams and the other Berskshire towns out there. It's a totally safe and yet really compelling environment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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We felt similarly about the suburbs. You should seriously consider areas of Brooklyn or Riverdale. Still urban. No suburban insular, vapid nature. And super close to Manhattan. I'm finding that the creative, intellectual, etc. types are moving to places like that because Manhattan is only affordable to the banker types. Not quite as :liberal as it once was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 08:51 PM Flag
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You mean unlike the insular, vapid nature of the city? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.09.09, 12:42 PM Flag
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We are you, and here are the places we are thinking of moving: Princeton, Montclair, Maplewood, and the Berkshires/Northampton area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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Dh and I are similar and have had this discussion many times. If we leave NYC, it will not be for the burbs (too expensive and culturally distant from NYC) but rather for another community that has its own culture. College towns are great for this. Lots of well-educated, artistic types, cost of living is often decent, good schools, decent healthcare, etc. College towns (even in the midwest and south) can be culturally great place to live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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We live in New Orleans. City with problems, but very creative (music, visual arts etc) with tons of interesting smart people, plus lots of local "characters". There is also a lot to do be done here--lots of opportunities to be a part of economic, racial, cultural change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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a lot of smaller cities (1-2 million, say) have some "close-in" neighborhoods where you'll find like-minded people - many refugees from NYC, in fact. I'm in Nashville, and this is definitely the case here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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do you live close in? we live in Hillsboro Village [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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I was you some years ago. I hated the idea of leaving Manhattan, which in my view was the nerve center of the universe. We now live in Maplewood, and I am happier that I ever was in NYC. There are more "liberal (tho' not all, but most), creative, critical thinkers" here than I ever found in NYC. Maybe it's because folks are not subject to the jangling that the city subjects you to: it allows the mind to be clear and you can get things done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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move to the hamptons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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Yes, this is your own bs. I'm like you and I moved to the burbs, and I have to say, ppl in NYC are no more "cultured," and often more provincial. Your experience will be what you make of it, trust me. Burbs are all diff, however, so you should look for one that has the feel that you like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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np: I grew up in the burbs. Moved to NYC as a young adult but I go back to burbs often for family stuff. Individual people in the city versus suburban areas may be equally provincial BUT in my experience, the suburban folks are mostly the same provincial. The urban folks are often all different provincials. So when you mush them together, the suburban experience is one (or two) types of provincial folks. The urban folks though are a huge mix. It just plays very differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 06:20 AM Flag
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Try New Hope, PA. Progressive and a lot of NYC ex pats. And houses there are going cheap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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move to maplewood. you have to do right by your hildren [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.02.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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You sound like you're so full of yourself and most of these responders do too. Do you really think NYC is the only place with educated people interested in cultural pursuits? You really haven't been out much. Yes, NYC is worldclass when it comes to the arts but there are educated people throughout this country many of whom are just more low-key and not trying to flaunt their intellectualism as you appear to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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you sound like a defensive annoying twit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.09.09, 12:45 PM Flag
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Move to Larchmont or Mamaroneck, not as boring as other burbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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pelham has a lot of writers, but very quiet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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bronxville also nice and artsy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Sounds like Ithaca New York is the place for you too (I just gave the same answer to the person looking for a funky eclectic vibe). Lots of artists, very left leaning, lots of intellectuals around because of the universities, very international, lots of excellent music, theatre and more movie theatres per capita than Manhattan they say. Good public schools, beautiful nature, you could buy a big beautiful house for less than $300,000. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.05.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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what about austin TX or boulder CO? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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you will have to seek out like-minded people where ever you go. that's the truth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I live in Nyack, NY, sometimes jokingly referred to as the UPPER Upper West Side. Many transplants from the city. Hip, many artists, film makers. Family friendly (including gay families...Rosie lives here.) Excellent preschools, private schools, and the local elementary school is quite good. There are art and (progressive) political events all the time, in a town on the river with wonderful outdoor space, great cappacino and home made ice cream, restaurants and a music scene. Have no fear! There are wonderful towns out in the 'burbs and the burbs are a great place to raise kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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Rent, homeschool, and stay in NYC... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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I think your fear is understandable but you have GOT to get over it and get over the narrow-minded notion that there are no creative, liberal interesting people outside of NYC! Don't you think there are thousands of people like yourself who decided to compromise and move to the 'burbs despite their own misgivings? Just pick your town carefully...and you might want to check out a very funny website for hip, ambivalent suburbanites...maybe you'll realize you are not so unique....it's www.burbia.com. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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