< Return to Talk
06.01.08, 17:18 PM General Topics
27 replies
Grrr... DH just returned from Asia today, fell asleep 2 hours after got back... still sleeping. I know he is going to be hungry when he wakes up and I can't deal with making him anything... I am sure he sort of won't care, but does anyone struggle with the guilt of not feeling capable of doing "wifely duties"? I was practically an only child, lived just with my Mom - lots of fending for myself... am having a hard time feeling responsible for another grown-up sometimes, when I take care of a toddler all day... thanks for listening... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:18 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
I often feel the same way - was raised similarly and feel like a grown up should be able to take care of himself. But - DH pampers me when I'm having a hard time so I try to return the favor. Just try to think how nice it would be if you were the tired hungry burnt out one and he did this for you. ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:19 PM Flag
»
thank you - I wish I could say the same, but sadly if I went away, he would literally eat almonds and bread with condiments for dinner. The worst part is he is the best cook, and we used to love to cook together/he would cook for me a lot - I think our dd has taken a serious toll on us... He also grew up in a country where the women really take care of their men - i like to point out that most of the women aren't working 50 hours a week on top of the rest of their work load at home! I am lucky though because he is seriously the best father I know - EVERYONE i know comments on it, so.. I guess i should pick my battles! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:27 PM Flag
»
well, maybe this is something the 2 of you can talk about (not tonight obviously!) Make an effort to pamper him a little and let him know how you would like him to reciprocate. He sounds like a great guy but maybe a little clueless. Men sometimes need to be told what to do! ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:30 PM Flag
»
op: thank you! We do communicate super well - I think this is one of my hangups... like I feel very lucky how much he loves us and is committed to us - I need to show him, etc... he certainly doens't want a wife like someone from his country, but I guess all men like a little pampering/attention/dinner... I admit I do make him his meals for his flights - he won't eat airplane food, so I stock him up on sandwiches and snacks that make his partner totally jealous! Okay, I feel better now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:34 PM Flag
»
glad to help! ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:36 PM Flag
»
Don't think of it as "wifely duties" that you must take care of. Think if it as nurturing the partner you love who would do the same for you if you were hungry or sick or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:19 PM Flag
»
np: just curious here...what exactly are you whipping up for him when he gets home, just an example? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:23 PM Flag
»
OR: My DH travels a lot for work and I WOH ft and have a toddler. I certainly don't go nuts but I make sure to have something in the house for him to eat when he gets home. He loves sushi so sometimes I'll order that so it arrives just after he does. Or I'll have salad fixings in the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:38 PM Flag
»
I normally would I guess - but he has been gone about 6 weeks in the last three months, and I work full time - i am very tired... as is he... I should just get in there and make us both something... I did buy things to make, it is just a matter of doing it... thanks... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:29 PM Flag
»
can you order something? You could get cute and have a pizza and some beer waiting for him - very American after his travels. You don't have to get all Martha Stewart on him to make him feel good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:36 PM Flag
»
op: really good idea... he would probably love pizza actually - I just can't bear to order anything - been doing that every night practically since he has been gone...I should just suck it up... thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:38 PM Flag
»
Just do it. It's easy and not that expensive. It will make him feel good. Seriously, it sucks to come home and be hugnry and there's nothing to eat. Light some candles and drink a beer with him! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:41 PM Flag
»
op: thank you - okay, he is still sleeping anyway, but I made a barley salad that i think he will like! And I have lunch for tomorrow! I wish he would wake up though - i miss him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
can't he just go out and get a sub? That's what my dh would want more than a reheated dinner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:20 PM Flag
»
that or a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, after eating asian food for weeks. np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:20 PM Flag
»
op: seriously - he is SICK of Asian food! And he is very about the home cooked meal, and I am posoitive he has eaten out every meal for the past week! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:30 PM Flag
»
I never was very liberal, but I am amazed about how many women say that they always make the dh's meals/food. A friend of mine said that her dh came home from attending a pro baseball game the other night and he woke her up so she could make him a sandwich. She acted like that was normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:20 PM Flag
»
I agree - the worst part is that I am a trained chef and I think the expectations are a bit higher! Lol! The sad part is that I used to cook a lot, but have the worst appetite since my pregnancy and now still nursing - am SO tired all the time and have no interest in food - makes it even harder! HATE shopping, would eat cereal for dinner every night sort of thing... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:24 PM Flag
»
WTF is your problem, beyotch?! He just busted his ass out in Asia to take care of your sorry ass and support his family and you can't make him a freakin' PBJ sandwich or something..? Don't be surprised when he serves you the divorce papers. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:41 PM Flag
»
op: WHAT???? OH AND I DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM HAPPY OR SUPPORT HIM OR WORK MYSELF!?!?! You have no clue about our situation, so don't call me names. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
fake reply [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:36 PM Flag
»
hey, why'd you post if you weren't ready for any and all responses...? you sound like a peach. i'm sure you husband had lots of fun in Asia. No need to draw you a picture of what I mean, because deep down you were already wondering about that. Well, I'm here to tell you: it's true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
op: lolol - I'm rubber and you're glue... nasty person, aren't you??? My husband would have a good laugh about that one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:56 PM Flag
»
Dude, order his favorite pizza. My dh would be psyched to wake up to his favorite pizza after being away. Add a beer in, and you're the best wife eer. I don't think men care as much as we think they do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:41 PM Flag
»
I would SOOOO much rather my dh order me pizza and beer than cook me somethin! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 05:45 PM Flag
»
I don't feel this way at all. You chose to create an environment in which you serve others all the time. DH is not a baby, he can get his own food, and if he can't, then he must learn. And if he won't, then he's the wrong guy for you. Don't become a cook for someone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:35 PM Flag
»
op: I really wish you guys would read a bit further into some of my answers actually... It is pretty much my own issue with feeling guilty... unfortunately, one person in particular, has turned this into me being a bitch b/c I won't make him a peanut butter sandwich (please note Miss Nasty above that I did make him a very nice dinner as it turns out) I just like to be nice and supportive, and feel guilty that I don't have the energy to prepare something he would like to eat - like a homecooked meal, his favorite. Gee whiz. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 06:59 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions