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06.01.08, 15:50 PM General Topics
26 replies
what would you have done? friend came to visit me from out of town. i purchased her museuma and a circle line ticket as a treat. fri night we went out to dinnner, i paid 175 for the both of us. she said she would get us the next night. she picked a very high end restaurant and it cost 230. waiter came over 3 times to check if we had settled bill. she just sat there. finally, i put credit card in. she said nothing. left today. did not give me any money nor say thank you. what should i do???? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 03:50 PM Flag
 

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lose her as a friend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:51 PM Flag
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really? i make more money than her so i was not sure if she was just taking advantage or what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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she sounds like a bitch. I would have made her pay her end of the bill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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i felt weird causing a scene and i kept waiting for her to do something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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ita. its one thing if friend is having tough time and you know up front you will be paying, but to say she will pick it up, pick high end, and then just sit there is beyond rude and taking advantage of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:53 PM Flag
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so what should i do now? i feel like a loser for letting this happen to me. and it was a lot of money on food! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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is this the first time something like this has happened with her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:01 PM Flag
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Yikes. This is what I would do. I would email her and tell her that you are a little annoyed and confused and then say what you just said (about you picking up tab first night and her picking up tab second night). I would tell her I value her friendship, but you need to be remibursed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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should have said, value her friendship more than money but I need to be reimbursed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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okay but how do i do this without causing a huge fight! she did come see me so maybe she feels like since she had to pay airfare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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My feelings are, you two are friends, you have history and no one should ever fight over money. You tell her your side, she tells you hers, you work it out. Its not that big of a deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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np: but she stayed with you, but didn't have to pay hotel. have you ever flown to visit her? how did it work then? how close is your friendship? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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If the purpose of the trip was for 2 of you to get together, she did pay airfare. financially, it's fair. Did she want to see NYC and asked you if she could stay with you or did she come out to see you? When my friend flies over from CA, I pay for all meals (we don't go to high end). She offers to pay but I grab the bill before she can. I think it's only fair that she was nice enough to fly over to where I am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:01 PM Flag
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I would not ask for a reimbursement. it will make you look petty, u should have not paid in the first place. If you guys are really close you should ask her why she picked such a pricey place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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because i am passive aggressive, i would say nothing to her, but talk about it ad nauseum to anyone without earplugs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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op and i think this is me. what do i have to gain by saying something to her. nothing, but lessen learned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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$230.00 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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ita. there is nothing you can do without jepardizing the friendship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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You gotta let it go. Don't host her again or next time, you pay dutch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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ITA, let it go. It would make me crazy too and, in hindsight, you could have said, "Hey, thanks for offering to buy dinner tonight," and handed her the check. But I probably would have done exactly what OP did, and then steamed about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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^^^and, you know, it might be that's she's having financial difficulties and is just too embarrassed to say anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:44 PM Flag
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when you put in the credit card, you should have told her what her share was -- or said something. that is strange. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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ita. i would have said "it's 230, so your share is 115" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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ITA! the time to say something has passed, but it could have been brought up nonchalantly while paying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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That is really strange. If she couldn't afford it, why did she pick such an expensive place? Or why did she offer to pay to being with? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.01.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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