< Return to Talk
06.01.08, 07:29 AM General Topics
32 replies
some days i really just hate my life. yes i'm lucky - yes my life is 'not that bad' as dh says. but some days i just want to run away. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:29 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
What bothers you specifically? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:29 AM Flag
»
dh - a baby that hates to sleep and screams all the time - uncooperative dd - just all ads up. mostly i hate hate hate hearing ds cry but he will not go to sleep without screaming his head off. it's discouraging as a mother - i feel like a failure [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:31 AM Flag
»
How old is he? How old is DD? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:32 AM Flag
»
ds is 10 mos and dd is 2 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
I'm actually Life Coach mom. You sound like you might be dealing with some form of PPD, and I'd get that checked out first and foremost. The bad news is that 2 year olds ARE by nature uncooperative (they're testing boundaries and learning independence), so if you can take the Zen approach and constantly remind yourself that she's doing exactly what she's supposed to do, it might make things easier. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:36 AM Flag
»
The good news is that this, too, shall pass. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:36 AM Flag
»
i was on anti depressants after ds - went off them about 3 months ago. i wanted to feel like myself again. i hated the way they stifled every emotion. dd is a delight most of the time. i'm just very tired today. it's ds that really hits every nerve. And even that is only about sleeping. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:38 AM Flag
»
It's good you have perspective. I don't mean going on antidepressants necessarily (although if all your emotions were stifled it sounds to me like you had either the wrong medicine or the wrong dosage). CIO actually does work. Have you ever read the Supernanny book? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:40 AM Flag
»
i haven't - you recommend it? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
Yep. Look, we all feel like our so-called maternal instincts are going to help us go the distance. But it just isn't true. Back in the old days there were aunts/grandmothers/mothers/sisters living nearby (or under the same roof!) who could pitch in or at least give advice. Lacking that, it's perfectly fine (necessary!) to seek advice from professionals! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:45 AM Flag
»
okay - i'll check it out! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
oh and let's not forget that we are a family of 4 living on LI making way under 100k and everything is a struggle. i never finished college - the degree i have is useless to me - and i hate feeling powerless and dependent on dh. i always wanted to be a sahm - was a nanny for years - and i still find it stressful most of the time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
that's really tough. can you get out for a couple of hours today? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
probably not. dh and i are fighting. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:35 AM Flag
»
all the more reason to put some space between you. i think you should see a doctor - you seem depressed. good luck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:37 AM Flag
»
np: you sound like you are overwhelmed - remember db's crying is NOT about you - what have you tried? How old? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
i've tried cio twice - this is my 3rd time trying. i tried last at 8 mos and he cried for 2 hrs one night and found out the next day he had a fever. i felt AWFUL. I'm trying to wean him and he will not go to sleep without nursing. i've been pg or bf for 3 yrs and i want my body back! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:35 AM Flag
»
don't take this the wrong way, but are you doing it correctly (by the book)? They sometimes DO cry for 2 hours, but it will usually work if you are persisent (the fever was no doubt a coincidence). I stress this b/c I had a VERY difficult db; did cio at 5.5 months, and she transformed into a MUCH easier db. I was so much more relaxed after that. I was literally nuts about her lack of sleep. The weaning thing will follow the sleeping, too, I would think. It's hard to do both at once. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:38 AM Flag
»
How do I know if I'm doing it right? I'm taking the next 2 weeks to really commit to it. Not leaving the house - putting him down 2x a day and he can either cry for an hour or sleep. he's already doing better at night. 2 nights in a row he slept past 5 which is amazing for him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:42 AM Flag
»
Are you using Ferber or Weissbluth? Just follow the guidelines strictly and don't change anything in how you respond (don't go pick up even if you get sick of the crying). B/c you're so overwhelmed tell yourself you are committing to doing it one day at a time. Yes, stay home and focus on it for the next two weeks, but maybe do everything you can to get someone else to come in and help. Will your DH agree to doing bedtime so you can go out for a coffee or drink alone? Some take to it more slowly than others. GL to you! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
You poor baby. That's so stressful. You may have to make an ultimatum and just carve out time for yourself. My dh and I fought almost constantly for the first 2.5 years of our son's life. Add to that the arrival of another baby and I don't know what would've happened. Having children can be astonishingly stressful on a relationship. It brings all the crap to the forefront. Also, your fluctuating hormones make it hard to "be yourself". He's also feeling stress from being a new parent. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:38 AM Flag
»
exactly - you hit the nail on the head. THANK YOU! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:41 AM Flag
»
You sound like me (LC mom). I'll tell you something, therapy and the CORRECT dosage of meds made enough difference that I could feel normal again--not numb, not "joyous", just me-- and being brave enough to talk about the hard stuff with DH, made a difference. We're not "there" yet, but we're on our way. Good luck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
i wish i could do therapy but our insurance doesn't cover it and we can't afford it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:44 AM Flag
»
There is ALWAYS a low or no-cost option. You can do pastoral counseling (many clergy of all religions are specifically trained in this, and it doesn't necessarily have a religious bent). Most docs offer a sliding scale, and many municipal mental health facilities offer low-cost therapy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
really? i didn't know. i'm going to look into it. i've been in therapy before and it definitely helps for me to 'purge'. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:48 AM Flag
»
well said, and ITA (posted above but didn't address this) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
I am somewhat in your shoes, with a travelling dh, too, and feel the same way on many days. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
OP - I feel for you. I don't know what I would do if DH traveled. However I almost wonder if it would be better for our relationship! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:45 AM Flag
»
It's not better. In fact, he's on his way home right now from a 4 day trip (pilot), and the house is a wreck, dishes piled up, laundry to do. But, db was up all night last night and the night before, and I'm exhausted and don't want to do chores. DH will have a fit when he gets home, but I can't bring myself to care.... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:50 AM Flag
»
oh honey - i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have said it would be better. you are right - can you get some help? family? a sitter? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:51 AM Flag
»
Family, no - they are judgy and make me feel worse about myself. I'm looking into a mother's helper this summer to take the edge off - hopefully that will help. Is it wrong that my 2yo has been watching Disney since 9am? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.01.08, 07:55 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions