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05.31.08, 05:23 AM General Topics
28 replies
in total panic. yesterday when i got home, my nanny told me that at on the way home from the playground 4yo dd ran ahead of her and when she caught up, raised her voice at her. nanny was upset with her own actions and told me that she was very sorry -- but dd had never run ahead before and she totally scared her. i told nanny that it was understandable and i would talk to dd. spoke to dd when dh got home about running ahead and she told us that nanny yelled at her because she was scared. this morning, dd brought the topic up again -- told us that she wanted to go to the park and promised not to run ahead because she did not like being yelled at (we are not yellers!) and GRABBED the way nanny grabbed her. i asked dd to show me and she grabbed me by the shoulders -- really hard -- and then showed me how nanny held her arm (not hand) the rest of the walk home. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.31.08, 05:23 AM Flag
 

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sounds like your nanny has safety as a priority. I think that is a good thing. Made an impression on DD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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i would not have a problem with this at all. your nanny was scared and did the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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it is the grabbing part that concerns me. why would nanny mention the yelling and not the grabbing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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maybe i am just over reacting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:30 AM Flag
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sounds like. I think your nanny did the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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np ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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ita - i have grabbed my kids to keep them safe. being grabbed is better than being run over by a car, for instance. this sounds like that type of situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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grabbing the child was not a bad judgement call imo. the op is crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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I've done that to my own dd when she has done something dangerous. (holding her arm) I think your nanny was right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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thank you all! we had a horrible experience with our original nanny -- and this one has been amazing -- i guess the first experience is making me overly sensitive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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understandable but her being a little rough in a case like this (and DD is 4, not a baby) is totally fine IMHO. I would be glad she is so stringent about safety [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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having your child run away from you in a city is one of the scariest things, i think the fact that she told you is great, so you could talk to dc. i would have to control myself from a spank if my dc did this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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You don't let your kid run in front of you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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You probably would have done the exact same thing in the nanny's shoes. Be thankful the nanny communicated this with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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i am sure you are right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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Your nanny was 100 percent right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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she was visibly upset when she was telling me -- but seeing how i reacted (which was ver supportive and understanding), i just find it odd that she did not tell me the whole story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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first, holding the arm. Nothing to tell. The grabbing, to her probably just part of the yelling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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I am assuming that nanny told dd to stop and she didn't. (otherwise there are bigger problems). At rate, give the nanny a break she was afraid that your dd would bolt into the street. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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I don't see any reason to panic. I don't even see any reason to be concerned. When my child ran ahead of me on a busy nyc street, I yelled and grabbed his arm when I caught up to him too. If I hadn't grabbed him, he would have continued running. He thought it was funny to run away. Your nanny behaved exactly like I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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sounds like you actually have a very good nanny whose number one concern is teaching your child how to be safe and how to listen. I've held my ds arm rather than hand in the same situation, because a hand slips out of your grasp easily and if the child is apt to run then it might be safer...it isn't a regular thing, but if they are being rambunctious or not listening when it's dangerous,etc. Be glad the nanny told you about the incident also, because it means that she is trying to be on the same page as you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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i think the fact that your nanny raised this with you is a good sign. if there were other signs of grabbing or your dd being hurt, I'd be nervous, but it seems like your nanny reacted a certain way and was upset with what she did. being a nanny is a hard job-think about what moms go through, and this is their job-can be tough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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your nanny taught your daughter a good lesson. it's not bad to yell at your kid when they are doing bad things anyway. in any event, if this is the kind of thing that freaks you out and sets you in a panic, good luck when your child is a teenager. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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I would have done what your nanny did. Your DD learned a very good lesson. Reinforce the message. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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Ask yourself what you would do in that situation. Do you expect your nanny to do things the way you do them or the way she does them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.31.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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