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05.30.08, 16:15 PM New York City
15 replies
opinions, please: Our preschool has a strict no-tipping and no-gift-giving rule. The PA gives teachers a gift (cash tip and small token of thanks) and each teacher gets exactly the same. One teacher has been a HUGE part of my DCs life. She has been involved in basically curing some major phobias and psychological hurdles and has contributed in drastically positive ways to the quality of our life and our child's future. I want to bring her a card with a cash tip or gift certificate to an upscale store and wisper "Don't open this at work". Tacky? Out of line? WWYD? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.30.08, 04:15 PM Flag
 

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i would write her a heartfelt thank you. i think it is sort of compromising her integrity,though, your heart is in the right place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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I completely agree. In the end, nothing will mean more to her than your note. I think it is a bit sad that you don't realize this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP: Oh come on you didn't need to go there. Yes, we are of course writing her a note expressing our feelings, which we have also already expressed in emails and in person. Our DC is also working on a note which has been a 3-day project so far (DC is 4). I just wanted to give her something too, because I know they don't make a lot of $$ and the gifts she gave our family this year are worth more than she made in salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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But this is exactly WHY she chose it. Trust me - its a 'calling' of sorts for the truly gifted teachers and your thank you and your dc's note is just perfect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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She isn;t allowed to accept gifts. You would be putting her in an awkward situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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Invite her to dinner at your home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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like that wouldn't be more awkward [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP: I think that would be a CHORE for her. She's off for the summer. She doesn't want to spend a night at my house with my kids. I wanted to give her money or a gift certificate to Sephora or Coach or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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Your post really bothers me. Just write a note. Look her in the eye and say "thank you. You have changed our whole family for the better and we will always be grateful" and be done. The gc idea actually borders on insulting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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NP:It's not insulting because end of year cash or gifts are standard in many private schools. maybe the teachers at this school don't like the policy and are missing out. At HM, teachers get designer bags and $500 checks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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which school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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can you send her some flowers with a nice note? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP: Thought of that but the problem there is that I can't send them to the school because it's against school policy,and I really don't feel right asking her for her home address. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:44 PM Flag
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you could either send her something at home or slip her something. i used to teach at a tt school and frankly, i appreciated the gifts. some kids i went way out of my way for and some of these parents acknowledged it with an extra gift, some didn't. in the end it didn't really matter, but since we didn't get paid so much it was nice. ps: a gc to barnes and noble was always awesome going into the summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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I would give the gift; I'm sure it will be appreciated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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