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05.30.08, 08:49 AM New York City
25 replies
It really drives me crazy -- DH invoices me for all kinds of stuff at the end of the month -- only big items (rent, nanny), but it still does not feel to me how a marriage should be. We both work & earn abt the same. If you are a couple that puts $ into a joint acct to deal with this, how much do you put? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.30.08, 08:49 AM Flag
 

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I have a joint account and I have no idea what you're talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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how much do you each put in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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All our money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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np: Same here. Way too hard to do it any other way IMO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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I know. And then, from the joint account, we figure out what goes into either investments or savings or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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np: ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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NP: All our cash goes in the joint account too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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not what you asked, but dh and I have always maintained separate accounts. We just pay for different things...and I do give him a bill about every 3 months or so for big-ticket items [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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we keep our money seperate but take turns paying for things. Actually we don't track it very carefully. Salaries pay expenses, bonuses get banked for savings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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is this a written invoice or does he just say "i paid for x and y, can you reimburse me". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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He "invoices" you? That's pretty demeaning. Sit down with him and make a budget. Plan for who will pay for what. Then there should be no need for humiliating "invoicing." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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Why would having a joint account preclude you from leaving/divorcing your husband? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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NP. I think the OR's Dad handled the money, and this was probably a common/legitimate thing - that women wouldn't have $ to leave? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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Oh, I understand her mom feeling that way but not someone who is the primary wage earner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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NP again. Oh, yeah - I see. I guess she's just very sensitive to it? BTW, my Mom had credit cards only in my Dad's name and no account in her name only but they were happy and my Mom was a SAHM but if anyone says their son bought their daughter-in-law x,y or z she spazzes. Totally thinks of it all as their joint money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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all our accounts are joint -- we don't have separate accounts (except for IRAs and 401ks of course). been that way since we got engaged. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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dh makes way more than i do, so rather than how much i put into the joint account (it's all money he made), i have a separate account w money i've made. we both like it that way--everything related to household and kids and joint things comes out of the joint acct, whereas my personal purchases (purses, shoes, etc.) comes out of mine. i like it this way to see how much i spend (i also have my own cc card for this purpose.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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- Plus, who wants them to see the shoe bill! Each person needs a little freedom as long as everyone is in sync on how much to put away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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my dh and i make about the same money and all of our accounts are joint. he doesn't care about the shoe bill and i don't care about whatever luxury items he spends money on -- if i'm going to pay $1000 on a single item, i'll give him a head's up -- otherwise, he doesn't care, and neither do i. we bank our bonuses and discuss how investments are allocated. but otherwise, the cc bills come in and get paid. there's no invoicing or whatever going on. it's a shared pool and we spend as we please, within reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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DH earns much more than me so he pays for most things and I pay for a college savings plan, groceries. I agree that going through the bills like that is too roommate like. Maybe you can either send some $ into a joint account automatically (the amount would be the amount you need for the bills it will cover) or pick and choose bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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you should invoice him for sex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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I make more than dh and manage the joint account. He has his own personal account and we are each responsible for paying certain bills each month. It works out well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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I only have one word for this: ridiculous! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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