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05.30.08, 06:41 AM General Topics
14 replies
affair mom here. My therapist reached out to my husband in case he wanted to talk. She sent e-mail to me that I forwarded basically saying if he needed to talk, the therapist would be there for him. I hope he reaches out. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.30.08, 06:41 AM Flag
 

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who had the affair, you or him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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me. a while ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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^^ I know, flame away. Trust me. I beat myself up on a daily basis. I know I'm a s%*t [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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that's a tough one. I was cheated on, and could never get past it. I hope it works out for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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Did you have kids? What was the situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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no, we were engaged. he wanted to get married, we went to therapy, but i just couldn't get past the extent of the lying, and the way he was able to compartmentalize it..oh, it didn't mean anything. well, yes it did. It really did a number on me for a while, ,I felt like i couldn't trust anyone. If you have kids, i really hope it works out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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well, it did mean something because obviously, I did it. I've been at the point that I'm trying to figure out what made me do it and that's what I've been trying to relay to him. I've taken full responsibility and know that if this fails, it's all on me. I just hope we can work past it. Especially since I realized I was doing something soooo wrong long before he even found out. It had already ended when he found out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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i wouldn't take kindly to that if i was your husband. actually i think it is a rather passive aggressive thing to do on your part. bad enough having an affair, now you want hinm to start visiting your therapist? at least let him find his own (if he wants one, which he may not) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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np: I agree. The whole thing was really avoidable to begin with - she didn't delete messages on her phone from over a year ago and her DH found them now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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i didn't recommend it. my therapist thought it might be a good idea for him to reach out since he keeps saying he has no one to talk to. I didn't mean to be passive agressive and that sucks if it came off that way. I just wanted him to find an outlet- obviously, it doesn't need to be my therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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are you the one who had the meeting with DH last week? How did it go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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yes. Friday night went well, but then it all backfired. We were very close. He told me that he missed me and missed talking to me. Then, all hell after that. Now he can't look or talk to me- I understand. We communicate through e-mail, which is so difficult to read. He's still looking for a place but I don't know when he's moving. He's still staying at his friends and he comes home a few times a week to see the kids. I'm so upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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who did you have an affair with? How did happen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Someone I worked with. Husband and I had a good marriage, but there was a void. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I cowardly got sucked in to something very very bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.30.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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