UrbanBaby

05.29.08, 20:00 PM New York City
25 replies

Watched Juno with DH tonight. The movie dad tells Juno that she should find someone that will love her for "who she is." I turned to DH and asked if he would always love me for who I am: even if I "get fat," etc. DH says it's my choice to get fat and that it's avoidable. What kind of lame answer is that? I've been feeling like he's not into me lately. Turned 40yo this year. Still get stares on the street and feel somewhat attractive but certainly am no longer young. Why does this make me feel so awful? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.29.08, 08:00 PM Flag

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that's so mean [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:01 PM Flag

You picked a winner there, let me tell you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:01 PM Flag

ok..men can be stupid when it comes to the *am I fat* question or anything like it. you cornered him [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:01 PM Flag

so it was a stupid thing to say? What do you do when you think DH no longer thinks you're attractive? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:03 PM Flag

not sure [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:03 PM Flag

Yea, males are not really the best for positive reinforcement when it comes to aesthetics. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:03 PM Flag

what makes u think he is not into u [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:04 PM Flag

Can you please write like a grownup? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:11 PM Flag

can you please get off this site and stop being so rude. some people are too busy to spell everything out. big deal! i can only imagine how critical you are with poor db! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:22 PM Flag

No need to be critical with my dcs. They punctuate and spell perfectly, as do I. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:26 PM Flag

I would have told DH that the woman I really am wants to strap on a dildo and shove it up his ass. How do you like me now??? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:05 PM Flag

hostile sex, huh? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:08 PM Flag

Men get stupid @ 40... It is even a cliche [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:05 PM Flag

That's really too bad -- he's saying something not very nice about your relationship and about his values. That being said -- 40 is the new 25 and you shouldn't look too awful at 40. Things are different now than they were in our mothers' day. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:08 PM Flag

what's he saying about our relationship? That it was based on his attraction to me only? We have two children. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:09 PM Flag

He's telling you how important the superficial (your looks) are to him, and that he really wants you to keep that in mind. Part of me thinks that he's being honest, and part of me thinks it sucks that men think and feel this way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:10 PM Flag

So my response should be to make more of an effort if I want to keep the marriage going? Work out more, get sexier clothes, etc? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:15 PM Flag

pretty anti-feminist, huh? but I do think these things often make dhs happier. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:16 PM Flag

wow. So I should be okay with that? Because if I love and want to please him (and also to keep him from straying?). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:19 PM Flag

Don't do anything that makes you feel put upon. I wouldn't like it if my dh turned into an elephant either. Otoh, none of this justifies straying on either partner's part. This is the kind of advice I got -- and rejected -- out of hand from my grandmother. Now that I'm a little older I think there's some truth in it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:21 PM Flag

Unfortunately, you're right. I'm gonna drop those last 10lbs from the pregnancies and get back to working out again. Guess it will be good for me anyway. Thx for listening. Feel like the aging thing is a losing battle. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:24 PM Flag

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 50 and it looks good from here. If you decide you want to stay in shape, lose the weight, etc. it's definitely doable. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:26 PM Flag

Good to hear! I think the turning 40 thing hit me hard. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:27 PM Flag

Actually, I now think 50 is the new 30. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:28 PM Flag

Yes, most definitely :-) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.29.08, 08:31 PM Flag