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05.29.08, 18:47 PM General Topics
18 replies
Yesterday was the saddest day of my life. After years of emotional abuse I said goodbye to my mother. I finally put a permanent restraining order in place. She drove 7 hours to contest it, saying it was about $, but it was the years of lies and abuse. She is emotionally unstable. No one from my family came to support her. It was such a hard day. I have tried years to get along with her to no avail and then she threatened our lives and has physically harmed other people. This whole thing is terrible. I just couldn't ever have her meet my girls. When I saw her yesterday, it had been 4.5 years since I had seen her! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.29.08, 06:47 PM Flag
 

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shit. this sucks. I am sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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That is horrible. You are a brave and strong person. That was an important proactive step you took, and you and your girls will be better for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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ugh. Very very sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Good for youfor taking care of your kids though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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btdt. felt guilty for months but then...so much better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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op: please talk to me! Did you have to do this against your own mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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op: I feel like I am so alone and the only person that has ever had to do this against their own mother! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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yeah, i went through it about a year ago. she and my father are just...well, they each have problems, but they're basically mean and could not stop being mean to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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op: wow, did you get a restraining order against both of them! Did other family members stop talking to you? That is what happened to me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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just my mom. my older brother is a bit codependent with them so he can't really handle that i don't speak to them and we aren't close anymore. but i can call him and we are civil [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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np: I read postsecrets and this week they had a postcard saying "you can't pick your family but you should still try to love them" or some such thing and I just thought how do you explain that some times it just isn't that trite and easy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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op: very true, sometimes I've discovered the saying, "if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?" This is my mother in a nutshell! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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or just that we have the media telling us every day how wonderful mothers are it is impossible for people to imagine that one mother who just can't be nice or show love or whatever. no one believes you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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wow how much I can relate with you. This is how I finally discovered my mother is. Yesterday in court she was about, "my daughter (this is her other daughter) and my son." Nothing about me or a desire to love me. Terribly sad! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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or. no, i felt that way for most of my life and i always tried to be the "bigger person" and turn the other cheek and all that. plus, i just felt terrible that there actions made it look like they didn't like me and these actions were sometimes public and it was embarrassing to feel like my parents didn't like me. but i was in therapy and my therapist, sort of playing devil's advocate, was saying "well, why do you still speak to them" and i'd say "because they're my family...." and he would say "so?" and on and on and finally i came to terms with it...they DON'T like me, they want to hurt my family. I felt so guilty. But now I am so much better off [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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np: good for you. i admire your strength. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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op: I saw a therapist too. Did you end up getting a restraining order? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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I am so sorry you have had to go thru this. But you know you did the right thing and your girls will understand that later. The best you can do it just keep her methods away from your home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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Very tough decision, but very brave on your part. I admire your courage to do what is right, as hard as it may be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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