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05.29.08, 10:59 AM New York City
48 replies
Somehow now that I realized that having three children is not really that bad, i.e. not that much more work than two kids, I think I want a fourth one. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.29.08, 10:59 AM Flag
 

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I have 3...so did my sister--she decided to go for 4 and got TWINS. I decided to stay at 3 because this was the 3rd person that I knew that jumped from 3-5dcs. No way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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yeah, twins is an entirely different story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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big big surprise. she was freaked when she found out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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ita. having three was easier for me than having two. we are ttc'ing again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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go take another valium [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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and sleep it off [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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how old is #3? That tends to make a difference in your outlook. I felt that way at first, then when he and the other were another year older, life got too hectic and changed my view [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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ita see below [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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how old are your dcs? I have 3 all in school and it seems to get more difficult--homework, projects, sports teams .I spend $300 a week on food alone. I am kinda glad I did not go for #4--I thought I really wanted it..but life is good with 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Just figure out the college bills you'll be stuck with before you jump the gun on that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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Uh, it is not my plan to fund my kids' college tuition in its entirety. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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well, it is not about 'funding it' but the reality check is that they will consider your income, etc in giving kids any college financial assistance, loans etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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first of all, my kids are still, young and I have no idea how many of them are going to go to college. Secondly, I firmly believe that they will be old enough to support themselves at that age. We can contribute that much, student loans will pay for some of it, a job on the side will pay for the rest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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old enough to support themselves? at 18? okay then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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yes, at the age of 18. I will darn make sure that my kids will be mature enough at that age to have a life on their own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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lolol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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there are lots of great jobs available to HS graduates at 18 that allow them to live independently and pay their college bills [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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are you serious? tell me how a HS grad earns a living wage, with no connections getting him that great internship, or no special talents (sports, etc) opening doors right out of HS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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ITA, this type of attitude will really hinder your child. I'm 33, and it's not like when I was growing up and college kids were happy to wait tables and babysit all summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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come on, I was sarcastic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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right -- because you will have control of everything, including their maturity level. good luck with that. do you plan to have them contribute room and board while they are still in HS? sacrifice extra-curriculars and typical teenage activities to work odd jobs after school and on weekends? sounds like a blast of a childhood! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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huh? we are talking about college, no? If the kid is not mature enough to hold a steady job he is not mature enough to go of to college. as long as they are living under my roof I supply everything. Once they go out to college they are on their own more or less. We are always willing to help out but we are not the ones you can come back every time you need a dollar or two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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college is about studying, learning, participating in extra-curricular activities, socializing -- becoming a well-rounded, confident person. ideally, it's not about attending classes all day, and working an odd job in the evening to pay for living expenses, unless the parents really can't afford to help. i am not saying that an 18 year old should be free to backpack across europe on mom and dad's dime -- but i am saying that being college aged doesn't make one an adult capable of fending financially for oneself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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yes, but how do you plan to make sure your kids are "mature enough" to "have a life of their own" -- i assume you'll need to start preparing them for financial independence well before the college years -- which means they'll be foregoing many of the activities i listed above while still in HS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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different strokes i guess. for my sibs and me, college wasn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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^^^wasn't optional. same for my dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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what are you going to do if your child will refuse to go to college? disown him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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np: if my kids don't go to college I am done supporting them once they graduate from HS. If you want me to continue paying your bills you will go to college. Worked well for me and my brother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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she won't refuse. as did none of my sibs. when you are brought up in an environment where school and education is valued, and is not optional, but an integral part of becoming an adult, then college is just an extension of HS, and going is a fact of life -- my sibs and i never viewed going to college as an option. we always knew, from early on, that after HS we would go to college. grad school was the optional component (and we all went on to earn post-grad degrees as well). my parents took a second mortgage out on their house to pay for college for all of us -- it was that important to them. rarely does a kid who grows up in a family that values secondary education decide, on her own, that college is optional (IMO). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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I'm not sure about this, and I grew up in a family and in a wider group (excellent private and boarding schools). I think some kids *shouldn't* go to college. My brother, for instance, who never went despite a top notch education in primary and secondary school, and now owns a very successful chain of sporting goods stores. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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i qualified my post by writing that it was my opinion. i have never known a person who came from a family that ingrained education as a value into their kids at a young age that opted out of college. i'm sure it does happen, but i would bet opting out is the exception, rather than the rule. that said, i concede that college is often wasted on the young. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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Why not? If parents can afford it, it's their responsibility IMO. I wouldn't have a 4th if that would put me in a financial position of not being able to afford the others' college tuition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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see above. I went through college w/o parental support and did just fine. Loans and job held me above water. It was a great learning experience and kept me down to earth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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np: So did I and DH but we had to go to crappy state schools as that was all we could afford. We want better for our kids, plus the cost of college has gone up so much that taking loans for all of it is near impossible these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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there are many options out there. Again, this is 18 years out. Until then I will rather make sure that we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and bills are paid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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If you're in a situation where paying for food and shelter is an issue, you're not in a place to be having a third or fourth child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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dude, I am able to pay the bills for a family of 6 or 7 if I had to. That does not change my opinion about how I am supposed to pay for my kid's college education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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Then you are incredibly selfish to not pay for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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ah. well, call it what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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different strokes as somebody said above. For me there is more to college than just education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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College is not about learning to keep your head above water with loans and jobs. And it's a very different world from when you went to college, I'm guessing. I think it's horribly selfish to saddle your children with college loans if you have an alternative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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Ooof. overpopulation much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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oh please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Why is it not OK to bring this to the table? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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Having 3-4 kids in a family, when the us average is under 2, is not overpopulation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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so long as you truly want a fourth one and adding 18 more years of childrearing to the family, and arent just pining for another newborn which i think is a very common pheomenon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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