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05.29.08, 06:48 AM Toddler
23 replies
was hanging out with friend and her 2yo grabbed toy from my 16mo db. what should i say when this happens? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 05.29.08, 06:48 AM Flag
 

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You're kidding me right?? Get over it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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np: why should she? Kids need to learn manners and taking turns. This kids mom should have said no we will give it back and when they are finished you can have a turn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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she didn't say anything to her 2 yr old? Did you dc cry? I would have said Johnny now let's give this back to Jane and when she's finished with it I promise your turn is next [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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she didn't say anything to her db and mine didn't cry but looked freaked out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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well next time just ask for the toy back and you will give them a turn when your dc finishes playing. I can't stand clueless moms (not you but the other mom) they play dumb and let their kids do whatever they want even if it means being rude to other kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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If she was a friend I would have talked to the 2yo and said that this is not okay. She will get her turn later. Btw, y7ou really don't know how to act in a situation like this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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no, where can i get some info? is there a book. i know i sound clueless [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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is she your friend or not? can;t you talk to her about things that bug you? her kid's behavior annoyed you a little so speak up to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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np-I wouldn't say "this is not okay." That sounds too much like disciplining someone else's dc to me. I would say, "db was playing with that. Can you give it back, please, and I'll make sure you get a turn in 5 minutes?" If the dc doesn't give it back, and the mother doesn't say anything, I would probably let it go. But your friend would probably take your cue. If she didn't and it continued to be a problem I would talk to her about setting up some ground rules for playdates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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you have to be kidding me. If you and I hang out together and we are friends you are allowed to tell my kid that something is not okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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It bothers me when people do that with my dc w/o giving me a chance to say it first. It feels like overstepping to me. If I'm not in the room or something it's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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^^^Also, you don't know that the other mother agrees that it's not okay. I've actually been at playgroups where the moms believe they should only get involved if someone's getting hurt. That's not my style, but that's why you should talk about ground rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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np: AHHHH, this is my current problem. Looking for advice about a close friend who always seems to discipline my dc. I know she must think I am ridiculous to be offended when she does this, but the whole point is that I am sitting RIGHT THERE and I don't get a chance to discipline because she jumps in first. Since you too are bothered by this, what do you do/say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.01.09, 09:12 PM Flag
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ita. i would say it in that way as well. or at least hope that i would in the moment. i think it's best to come in as non-confrontational as possible with little kids at that age. they don't know they are doing something wrong, but need to be gently corrected. the other mom should be doing it, of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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No need for it to awkward or putting yourself in the position of disciplining someone else's dc. What you do is say, "Joey, Harry was playing with that. Let's find a fun toy and see if he will trade you. It isn't fun when someone takes your toy. It is fun to trade." Then you show the two of them how to trade. Your younger one will have fun being part of the game and the older one will start learning how to negotiate play situations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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np: good advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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I assume we are not talking about a friend-friend but just an acquaintance from the playground or a mommy-and-me class? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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this is a classic problem. i think this comes up in a variety of ways. i'm a little timid in general, but have learned to assert myself just a little. i've regretted them times i didn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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i have a dad acquaintance and we take our kids to the beach sometimes. kids are 3. he has this theory that kids should just work out everything amongst themselves, short of killing each other. he's not lazy either, it's just a genuine theory that they learn best that way. he says, we may have genius negotiators on our hands and we'll never know. but it's hard for me to follow along with this even a little, ESPECIALLY when my child is being the aggressor. it's interesting, though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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I subscribe to that theory also but not when the kids are at that age. A 16mo is in no situation to work this out. Even the 2yo has no real grasp of what happened either. I have a 5 and a 3yo at home and I usually let those two work it out most of the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I have thi s problem constantly as my dd isn't very aggressive and tends to give up toys quickly if another kid cries for them. I haven't figured out the solution other than to say to the offending child, "Oh, Lili was playing with that. Can we find you another fun toy to play with and then you'll have a turn with this when lili is finished?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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You're supposed to distract the grabber with another toy and return the toy to the kid who had it. Not a lot to say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.01.09, 09:22 PM Flag
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