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05.29.08, 05:05 AM General Topics
27 replies
do you think your life SHOULD revolve around the the kids? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.29.08, 05:05 AM Flag
 

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no, bad for you and bad for your kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:07 AM Flag
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itd. childhood passes in a flash and i cant imagine you'll find any parent of a grown children who wishes they had been less focused on their kids when they were younger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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np maybe we need to define what me mean by "revolve around" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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shouldnt but it usually does. with 3 kids something is always going on. hard to avoid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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to some extent yes - esp when they are very small. But, you have to have your own life too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:11 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:11 AM Flag
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np I think it's fascinating how our attitudes about this have changed. My grandmother took care of her siblings after her mother died when G< was 13, Then she raised her own family. Then she basically raised 2 of her kid's kids (weird circumstances involving mental health issues of spouses) She was the least bitter person I ever met, just happy and wanting to help everyone. You would think she would be bitter about putting her own needs and desires last her whole life, but she was not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:14 AM Flag
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that is an interesting observation on how times have changed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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seems like we might all be better off with her attitude of doing one's duty without bitterness. I don't see us going back though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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In terms of her raising her grandkids, I think the issue there is that too many people today see parenting as being an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:23 AM Flag
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but my response was about OR's idea that "sacrifice" brings bitterness. I think we are more likely to see that now. I think in earlier generations, it was just life. People did what needed to be done without thinking about what they wanted as much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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np: I think this is a completely different issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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in what way? I think it's very relevant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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same with my grandmother. she lost her mother and two siblings in the flu epidemic when she was a teen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:21 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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Good response. I would agree with this. My dd is definitely my priority but I don't completely disregard other aspects of my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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tritto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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if youre a god mom, yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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^^^ha, good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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I've put my stuff on hold while 3 kids are little and still need me 24/7. However, I also see crazy helicopter moms who can't even breathe without consulting the kid schedule, which is way too much. Not good for the kid at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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when they're young, yes. doesn't mean i don't have anything else going on and doesn't mean i hover, but they are my first, second, and third priorities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 05:59 AM Flag
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I think children are part of your family and no one should revolve their lives around anyone else. You shouldn't negligect yourself or your spouse for your child. However, all people should get the attention they require, and little kids and babies require a lot of attention. And certainly less than your spouse who presumably can take care of himself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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I think women who make their lives "revolve" around their kids are headed for 2 outcomes 1) lonely sad and depressed when their kids grow up and don't need them as much and they realize they have nothing else or 2) bitter and angry when they realize they have sacrificed and given up everyting for kids who have grown up and don't need them anymore. I also think that women who's lives "revolve" around their kds are completely unbearable to be around. You need a balance. Your kids should be your proirity, without having everyning in your world revolve around them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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do you speak from experience? I wonder simply because I think this is a viewpoint which while it makes sense to many in our generation, would not ring true with many of our moms. I really don't think everyone sees time spent with their kids instead of pursuing some other interest of their own, as a sacrifice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.29.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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