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05.28.08, 20:07 PM General Topics
6 replies
I feared this day would come. The older of our two children (aged 1.5 and 3.5 yrs) has come to dislike a babysitter who has been with us for two years. It started gradually about three months ago, and now he has reached the state of total antipathy for her. When pressed for details, he says she "isn't silly" and "never laughs" and "doesn't like to play funny games." I agree that she is a serious woman, but we have always liked her for her integrity, common sense, and reliability. Would you end the relationship right away so as not to make your child unhappy, or would you approach the sitter and suggest ways she might be able to engage him a bit more on a child's level? She babysits for us two evenings a week without fail, so there is an ongoing relationship and commitment. I don't want to lose my son's trust and confidence in me, so intuition dictates that I say goodbye to this sitter, but I also don't want to prematurely end the arrangement if there is some way to salvage it by speaking with her. FYI, this is not my son't ploy to get us to stay home those nights, as he has specifically stated the two other sitters he loves and thinks are "silly" and "funny" and whom he would prefer to see instead of this other woman. What would you do? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.28.08, 08:07 PM Flag
 

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tough one. how much waking time does he spend with this sitter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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He is with her for 3 waking hours on each of the 2 nights she is here, for a total of 6 waking hours each week. The period includes playtime, dinner, reading, bedtime routine. I have two freewheeling, happy-go-lucky little boys, and even dinner and bedtime are "playful" for them. I fear she is just not the right personality for them, particularly my older son, but feel so conflicted about giving up a smart and capable sitter like this one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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how many waking hours does she spend with him? in any event, I think I'd start to phase her out (we went through something similar, but it was with a part time nanny -- ie spending a lot more hours with the kids), and I could see my older dd was not respecting her, and I didn't want to force the issue -- I think the nanny realized it too, b/c she left by mutual agreement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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i would get a new sitter. childhood is too short to subject your dc to someone so who makes him unhappy when there are other options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:45 PM Flag
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Whatever you do, remember that young children are very fickle creatures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:49 PM Flag
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I would try to manipulate the situation before giving up the sitter (hard to find good ones!). Point out to your son that while she may not be giggly she's great at reading, cooking, whatever... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 08:51 PM Flag
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