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05.28.08, 18:06 PM New York City
17 replies
Do you think it is possible for someone to live with someone for 40 years and not realize that they had developed a drinking problem? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.28.08, 06:06 PM Flag
 

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of course. everyone has a different threshold for what is problematic vs. what is merely heavy social drinking. My mother didn't drink any more than any of her friends, but it was too much for her. She got cirrhosis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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Really? Are you sure that she didn't? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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I hope that didn't come off as snarky, but I would have thought that about my mom who never appears drunk and never seems to have more than two drinks, turns out she has a secret vodka habit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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No worries. I know she was sneaking it for the last 6 months before her diagnosis, but I think that was just because she was feeling like shit, and it was the only thing that made her feel better. But for the years before that she didn't really drink that much. She was affected by it strangely, though. One or two drinks made her very drunk - almost like her body couldn't process the alcohol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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no, whether or not they acknowledge it or not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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What if the person is a very high functioning and very closeted alcoholic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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you know, even if you are in denial, you still know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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I am not talking about myself. I am worried about my mother and really think that my father has no clue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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your dad knows something is off but may not be able to figure out what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Possibly, but his kind of clueless in the absent-mind prof way - too engrossed in his research to realize what is going on. It literally took him 20 years to figure out that she dyes her hair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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yes and no. I think it would be a matter of what you let yourself see. Perhaps if you were very busy with a big family, you might not take the time to realize that a problem had developed until family life settled down. I think it's fairly common to be a bit surprised by what your spouse has grown to be, after all of the kids leave the nest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Are some people just more clueless and/or self absorbed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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So, what do you do when you suddenly realize that some one close to you is an alcoholic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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al anon is a good start [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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Have you gone? How was it helpful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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coming from a family of alcoholics myself, the best thing to do is go to al-anon meetings - they are for the family members of alcoholics - big help for me, my mom, my stepmom, etc etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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I think I might try, but am nervous. I looked at their website and none of the questions really apply to me. I am 35, have been out of the house since I was 18 and just started suspecting there was a problem about 4 years ago. She is very high functioning and I can't really tell how it has affected my life except that I am now worried about her health and I wonder if I should hide all the booze when she comes and claim that I have become a tea-totaler. Does that make sense. She was a great mom, for the most part, and I don;t think she had a problem when I was growing up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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