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05.28.08, 13:46 PM General Topics
26 replies
I cant take it anymore. I am seriously considering leaving dh and kids. I feel like I am in a prison. Anytime I try to go anywhere ds acts up. He turned 4 last week and does not listen to a word I say. He is constantly bullying other kids. DD is so very sweet but because DS needs so much time and attention by the time I get to her I am way to exhausted to play. I cant take it anymore. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.28.08, 01:46 PM Flag
 

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what do you and DH do when DS acts up? How do you handle it? How does it get handled in school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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time out, toys taken away, no sticker on sticker chart. He goes to school 3 am's weekly, though he is out on summer vacation. At school they put him in time out and sent a note home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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you need to do those things really consistently, and there should be serious consequences, every time, for the really bad stuff like bullying other kids. Also, he's old enough for reason. You should talk to him and make him understand that bullying is unacceptable, that he makes people feel bad, and that you, and others, don't like him when he acts that way. If none of this works, then maybe he has emotional/developmental issues and could benefit from seeing a specialist. You can't walk away from your family-- I'm sure you're not really contemplating that-- but you don't need to accept a miserable situation. You can take control. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Before you abandon your family, get some therapy for ds and yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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yikes! Really. Sorry you are having a hard time OP but this is life and has real consequences for your kids. You can't just quit being a mom. I hope you will get the help you need [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Dh will not allow ds to "be shrunk". I made an apt with a therapist but attended alone. Before advising me she needs to meet ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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np: This will sound a little harsh, but grow a backbone. This is your child. You are responsible for turning him into a decent person. If your husband is working against you in this, then leave your husband. Do not give up on your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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can you get some help around the house instead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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DH tells me that women have done this for millions of years. I dont need help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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he is right that women have done this but teh vast majority of them had mothers or aunts etc nearby. Tell him to move you next door to your mother or cough up some $$ for help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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sounds like dh is a real treat. perhaps you need to leave him for a day and leave him a list of things to take care of in addition to caring for the children. my dh watched two ds's when i had a bridal shower once and he apologized after! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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He is always at work or playing golf. He has yet to have both kids at once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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10 years ago we didnt have kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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you didn't discuss how you would raise them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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Need better discipline with DS. be firm. be consistent. read 1,2, 3 magic. Make alone time for DD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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I have read it. We spend lots of time together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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you definitely need some help at the house. can you find a student to watch thekids a few hours each week? and maybe a cleaning person? i have had a social worker through EI and she has said repeating yourself over and over until ds does what you says would work. she is right about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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What about dealing with the hitting and pushing other kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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i have a 4 yo (newly four) and we have some of these issues. i have just explained repeatedly that hitting and pushing is not allowed. those actions are punished immediately when they happen. he has to know that there is no exception and you will never allow this. the key is for you to remain calm. if you get angry and he gets a rise out of you he can be acting out more because he is getting attention, even though it is negative attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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tons of praise for good behaviors is also helpful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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don't be silly. take dh and leave the kids to fend for themselves. ok. sorry. do you think your ds has problems or is he just a normally challenging child? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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I dont know. He is fine until he gets around other kids, then he becomes very aggressive. As long as we dont leave the house he is generally ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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your dh sounds like an asshole. i agree with whoever said above that you should just take off for the day and leave a list of things to do. he'll get the message. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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yes. and you need to let him know he can't golf that day because you have something to do. and if he is always off doing something, take your ds to a specialist and he'll never know because you don't have to tell him. i feel bad for you because i have a friend like this. but like you, she won't just state what is on her mind and stick up for herself. you need to have him listen to you and really hear what you are saying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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btw - i should add that i'm a dh. (guy who says your husband's an asshole) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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