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05.28.08, 10:21 AM General Topics
21 replies
do you want to be cremated or buried? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.28.08, 10:21 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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don't really care that much. Just want to be buried or sprinkled in a particular spot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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i don't care either...trying to help a friend decide about her child. i think she thought she would want cremation but now feels like it will traumatize him or something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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wait - her child died or she is worried about her own death? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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her child died [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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oh god. I'm so sorry. The spot I mentioned was where my son is buried. The advantage of cremation is that she can keep some ashes with her. But sometimes people get obsessive about that. The advantage of having him buried is that she will have a place to visit him. (even though he is not there of course) If I can help in any way - answer anything you can't ask IRL etc - I will be happy to help. :-( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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oh, thanks so much. i'm sorry about your son. it must be so difficult. she, of course, never really thought of what she would do in this situation and it was a completely unexpected death. suddenly they have to make all of these decisions and i think she doesn't trust herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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does she have family that can step in and help? My IL's made most of the plans - which funeral home, where to have the service etc. We just picked the details. It is horrific - esp if it's sudden. She will need tons of support for at least the next year. The first year is the hardest but it is still hard and my son would have been 6.5 (died at 3 days old) Send her to Missfoundation.org for some on line support if you think she would be interested. It saved my life. The forums are great. You can go too and get tips about how to help her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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i think her bigger problem is that too many people want to step in. i think that once she settles the burial vs. cremation thing it will be easier but, you know, she is talking to me because I'm NOT a family member [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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is this the mom who was on here yesterday talking about her 4yo DD? She said she ahd a friend coming in to help her. There really is no right or wrong way to do this. She will just have to figure out what makes her most comfortable and honestly, nothing will at this point. What about teh child's father? Is he available to help make decisions? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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she has a 4 year old daughter but her son died. could be her. the father is very..."whatever you decide, I'll support" and is frustrating her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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sounds like the same person. I have been thinking about her ever since I saw her post. Please tell her to come and ask for me here if she wants to talk. I'm here more than I care to admit! She can call me heart defect mom. Or she can go to the missfoundation website and look for me there. My screen name is Layniac. SIgh. I hate to hear about anyone else going through this. It is so very very hard. She has some really tough days ahead of her and will need you a lot. You are a good friend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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i will pass on the info, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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oh, i'm so sorry. god bless you. np here. i get tears in my eyes thinking of you mothers who had to face the most difficult in life and go on god bless you always [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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thank you. That is very sweet. It is hard but you have to figure out a way to go on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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i'd like to be buried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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use whatever parts still work. Then put me in the compost heap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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Please don't bury me Down in that cold cold ground No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up And pass me all around Throw my brain in a hurricane And the blind can have my eyes And the deaf can take both of my ears If they don't mind the size Give my stomach to Milwaukee If they run out of beer Put my socks in a cedar box Just get "em" out of here Venus de Milo can have my arms Look out! I've got your nose Sell my heart to the junkman And give my love to Rose [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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M.A.O? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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john prine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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LOL! I know. I just wondered if you were my friend M.A.O. writing those lyrics. We used to sing it in college all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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nope, just another fan! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.28.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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