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05.27.08, 18:43 PM General Topics
58 replies
Its hard for me to understand how people can put a 3 months old in daycare all week for some average job. I know being a stay at home mom isn't for everyone, but 3 months is SO young! There's a difference between leaving a kid who can walk and talk in a daycare program, but an infant needs its mother imo. This country is screwed up. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.27.08, 06:43 PM Flag
 

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I see it the other way around...at 3 months they have no idea...but when they are walking/talking thats when they need you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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amen sister :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:46 PM Flag
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why is it the country's fault if someone goes back to work earlier than you think is acceptable? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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seriously [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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many other countries have extensive maternity leave policies whereas many women in the US have no option but to go back after 3 months or even sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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and those countries are more socialistic. I prefer our system. We take care of our own familes without taking $$ out fo someone e;se's pocket [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Socialistic :) I'm really glad that DH and I can take extended leave if we choose and not have to rush back to work. We're not taking money out of anyone's pocket. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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how are you affording it then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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It's paid through Employment Insurance, which is not funded by the government. I'm not quite sure whose pockets I'm taking money out of. Everyone pays into EI and we use it as needed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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where do you live? I have no idea what that is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Canada. Countries have all different kind of funding structures and I think the assumption that we're "taking money out of some else's pocket" is unfounded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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It is an income "redistribution" plain and simple. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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I think having a pool of money from which people can draw as needed for unemployment, compassionate care, sickness, maternal and parental leave, etc. is great. Your health insurance is "income redistribution" in the same way and I'm sure you don't see that as taking money out of someone's pocket. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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Would you not collect uninsurance because it's taking $ from someone else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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Or, in many of those countries, the employers pay. This results in systematic discrimination against women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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really? that certainly hasn't been my experience in such countries [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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You should do some research. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:36 PM Flag
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I'm Swedish and employers do pay and I don't think this kind of problem exists for us. What specific countries are you talking about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:42 PM Flag
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Yeah, like Germany where law firms won't even hire women because they know they'll have to pay excessive maternity leave. Institutionalized oppression of women is definitely enlightened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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that's funny because my sister's a lawyer in Germany. somehow they exist! sexism exists everywhere, including in the US (employers not wanting to hire women because they won't return to work, for example, probably partially because it's either stop working or only have a few weeks of leave). but gender equality is shown to be greater in many countries with better maternity leave policies (Sweden, for example) so the idea that it leads to OPPRESSION is ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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My only information comes from my German friend who is also a lawyer (your sister is an expat or German?). She was one of two lawyers in a large firm. Female partners were unheard of. This is German law firm, not a multinational corporation hiring lawyers and Mbas from wherever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:36 PM Flag
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she is german and it is a german law firm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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Well if you're German than you should realize that there is a well documented shortage of child care for children under three in Germany and that women feel under immense pressure to SAH whether they wish to or not. Or are you perhaps one of those charming expats who toutes the superiority of their homeland from the lovely vantage point of the US? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:44 PM Flag
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That is certainly not the result of maternity leave policies, but the larger culture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:49 PM Flag
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And in the US many women know that they'll be mommy tracked if they have kids, that they will lose status in the eyes of them employer, etc. Many women also stay home because they don't make enough to justify (or, in some cases, pay for) the cost of childcare, bringing along with it problems of financial dependence on partners, prolonged absence from the workplace and re-entry difficulties, etc. I think longer maternity leaves are a really good thing. Clearly you don't. But imagining that shorter maternity leaves = better for women is unfounded and willfully ignores the realities American women face. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 08:53 PM Flag
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so true- it brings tears to my eyes to see little tiny ones all bundled up for drop off. Why have kids then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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why indeed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Because they want to and can provide for their dc and give them good role models. You don't have to be so daft. The uber wealthy are not the only people entitled to procreate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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i HATE HATE HATE this ridiculous question. do you ever ask working dh's why THEY have kids??????????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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Are you asking both parents? Or just the mother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Sometimes the mother is all there is for dc, so obviously she needs to go back to work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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everybody has different situations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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are you kidding? what about a single mom who has no option but to work? or a dual income household with limited hhi? or simply a mom who wants to work. you are very judgemental. an naive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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geesh the idiots you meet here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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or: you are calling me an idiot? seriously? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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no---OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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oh shit...lets just talk about Scarlett Johamnsenn and her singing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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she's singing now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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It is not a big deal at all! In fact, 3 months is much easier on the db than it is at one year. I agree that this country is screwed up and should have better leave policies, but they don't and kids are FINE! Better go to work than be overly involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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so what- have kids and let someone else raise them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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are you an idiot or just stirring the pot on purpose? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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You need to get your head out of your arse! Working mothers do raise their dc. Much much much better to have a working mom than some overly involved martyr mom who has no life outside dc, or than have a mom who "chooses" not to work when it is a huge financial strain on the family! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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LOL! judgy judy in the house [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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I am just calling it like I see it. I didn't paint all SAHMs with the same brush, just ones like OP who fit the description above to a T. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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well it sure sounds like you are painting and with a rather broad brush if you ask me. I SAH and I do have a life outside of DD thank you very much and even though it is a financial strain for now, it's our choice so why do you care? We feel it's worth it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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I never said all. I was responded to OP and her type if that is not who you are then you should know that and not be bothered. I have met many SAHMs who are like op and others who are not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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np: you need to read better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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no- i just waited until we were financially secure so I could stay home with my kids. I resent the statement of being "overly involved" Isn't there a balance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Of course there is but anyone who needs to tell other people that they are not raising their own dc doesn't have it. You are lucky that it was financially feasible for you, it is not for the vast majority of families. Some women stay home when it is financially ruinous due to this supermom culture and end up in dire circumstances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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I would have had to wait a LOOOOOONG time to be so financially secure that I didn't need health insurance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Oh, but everyone makes choices:) Can't stand these sanctimommies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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And I chose to have dc despite not living in a country with socialized medicine where my access to health insurance is tied to my employment. Having savings is just not enough to enable one to take a leave from work these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I hope you didn't misinterpret me, I am on your side. I was making fun of the sanctimommies who says everyone has "choices" at the drop of a hat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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amen, sistah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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totally totally agree. my dd has been in daycare since 4 months, and it was much easier then. and, the caretakers at her daycare were three grandmothers so she got a ton of cucddling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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What would have liked me to do? I had to work to provide my child with health insurance, food, shelter, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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She just thinks that you don't "deserve" to have children, ignore her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I worked in an infant room at a daycare and it was a loving, great place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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