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05.27.08, 10:09 AM General Topics
44 replies
WWYD: 5 yo ds was playing with a group of neighbors on saturday and punched our 6 yo next door neighbor in the nose. OBVIOUSLY wrong...and ds was punished and not allowed to play for the rest of the day. My concern is how our neighbor (parent) handled it and how to proceed. Now, her ds's nose was barely bleeding, nothing dripping out of the nose, etc. However, she came storming out to the front of the yard yelling: "where is your ds? where is he? I need to talk to him." Now, I am standing there holding his arm as I'm in the process of removing him from the situation. I turn and say, "he's here, we're on our way in because he's punished for the day and ds did apologize" She says: "Well-I don't accept that. My ds is bleeding" So I look at my ds and say, "can you please apologize to Mrs.X as well, she's very upset b/c her ds is hurt" And ds again apologizes. She responds,"this is unacceptable." and walks away. What the hell do I do next? Dh thinks she's nuts and totally over-reacting. I mean, what should I have done, given her ds a free shot? I agree that ds was wrong, however, he is 5 and a boy. Things happen. Do I owe her anything else? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.27.08, 10:09 AM Flag
 

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she is overreacting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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She is over-reacting and I would not do a thing, except have your ds knock on door with you to apologize to the boy (which he should do, and it will go long way in keeping peace). But I would avoid this beyotch. She is unhinged. I have a 5 yo ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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ITA. I have a 5yo ds too. Boys will hit from time to time.. so will girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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np: please don't make excuses for kids. I hate this saying boys will be boys bullshit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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nnp so you don't think it's normal for a kid to hit someone? Her kid did something wrong and she dealt with it appropriately. The neighbor is looney [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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You're nuts lady. You need to read A nation of whimps. You are the mom they are talking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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no I'm not nuts but I don't say boys will be boys. They do get into fights but I don't like it when parents make excuses for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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She said he already apologized [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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OP: he already did apologize though--to her ds and to her. I'm afraid if i have him do it again, it's feeding into her too much. Ds is not going to get anything else out of it in terms of a lesson on how to be friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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Oh, then no. If he apologized to the boy, then let it go. She over-reacted. Especially because your kid is the younger one. Just avoid her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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if I were you I would have had him apologize to the mom too. To show her that he was sorry and that you weren't just covering for him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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OP: I did have him apologize to her as well, right as the scene was unfolding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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that's good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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no, you should have gone back over to see how the kid was, but now, they shouldn't play together anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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she's a nut. i pity her kid's teachers, kid's friends, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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OP: oh, she's very well known as a nut in the neighborhood and beyond. However, I have managed to keep her friendly to me and would like to continue to keep it a peaceful relationship since neither of us is planning to move for the next 10 years or so. Dh thinks she's bi-polar and we know for a fact that the kids have been medicated. She has come right out and told us all about her depression/anxiety meds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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now you're being that annoying gossipy neighbor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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What does the child being medicated have to do with anything, Judgy Judy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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That's all besided the point. MYOB and make sure your child does not resort to violence again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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OP: please-as if anywhere here I said that I thought ds's violence was acceptable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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You sound like my worst nightmare for a neighbor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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OP: well thankfully we don't live next door to each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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np ignore the idiots OP. I'd love to haev you living next door to me. You sound very reasonable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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so glad I'm not in the burbs with you two [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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I bet you're well known as the gossip in the neighborhood and beyond [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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OP: b/c I posted this on UB? She's the one telling everyone about her meds, not me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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Then why are you upset if you know this woman has mental issues? You should feel bad for her. Let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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i love when people say things are "unacceptable"...so impotent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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why did you kid do this? He is going to do this to the wrong kid one day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:21 AM Flag
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OK, I wasn't there, and your reaction sounds fine, and your neighbor is a nutjob, but maybe you are a little less sympathetic to the victim than you should be. "Barely bleeding," eh? If my DC hit somebody, my first reaction would be to make sure the hurt kid is OK. I would also very visibly correct my child to signal both to him and everyone else that I find his behavior 100% appalling. I disagree that "boys will be boys." Boys may have a harder time controlling aggression, but that's no reason to soft-pedal it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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np ITTA. Especially a punch on the nose. What's the kid watching that makes him think he can do that?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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np-- That is so silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I'm sure thjat's not the way you feel when someone your age punches you in the face. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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settle down, lady [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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agree, most 5 year olds don't know what a "punch" is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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OP: omg-he's playing with the neighborhood kids! Including her 6 yo and the 10, 7 and 5 yo boys across the street. You think he picked this up from TV? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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OP: I certaily did attend to the victim, and that's how I know he was barely bleeding. Trust me, he wanted to continue playing with my ds. He was upset when I took ds home as a punishment. There was no blood coming out of his nose, I'm just trying to say that it was not as if my ds beat the kid up and left permanent damage. We sent a very clear message to ds that his behavior was not going to be tolerated as well as to his friends, that listened to me and watched me take him in the house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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FWIW, you're OK with me (OR), then. The other parent overreacted, and that's the way she is. You'll need to watch all interactions with her very carefully. Playdates at your house or only with you present. ITA that you are right to be concerned that she might be emotionally abusive to your son. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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OP: TY--and really, i'm not sure why I'm feeling so compelled to defend myself here. My across the street neighbor who's dcs were there for the interaction agreed with me as did dh..and they got more of a first hand account of it. Hard to put all the details,etc in a post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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she's over-reacting but proably because she was so upset. If she's reasonable she more than ;likely has calmed down. Can you go over or call just to see how her kid is doing? If she's still upset then that's her issue and just keep the kids apart [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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OP, the tide has turned against you, after your gossipy reply. No need to defend yourself further. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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ittta let it go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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