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05.26.08, 17:02 PM NY Schools
54 replies
My husband & I dismissed private w/ 3 dcs, b/c we figured we couldn't possibly get enough FA. We live in Brooklyn -- what is the best we could probably do? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 05.26.08, 05:02 PM Flag
 

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Some people get 80-90% aid. Extremely high ERB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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ERBs don't correlate with financial aid. Aid is based on the need of the family--not the smarts of the child (who, of course, qualifies for admission). np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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The report is based on need but the school itself can give more than the report recommends because they want the child, so high ERB can make a difference as well as diversity. We applied to 9 schools for FA and this is how it was explained to us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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Not sure what you're asking. But I wouldn't assume you couldn't get enough FA. The more dc you have, the more FA most schools will offer you. And there are definitely families w/ 3 dc in private, receiving FA if that's what you're worried about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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we have 3 dcs on FA - get about 1/3 off for each dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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nothing like bringing 3 lives into the world and then looking for a handout to educate them. don't you people think about this before you contribute to overpopulation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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The wording here is cold, but i had the same thought. DH and I just sat down and realized we really cant have a 3rd, and still live the kind of life we want to live. Funny to see other people's reverse-planning mindsets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP: I got pg w/ twins the 2nd time. Wasn't planned & has been very stressful since they were born. I would leave city in a minute but my husband is legally blind & can't drive. Only on UB can people hide behind their anonymity & be so judgemental. AND, I said we had dismissed private. You MUST be a Republican to be so selfish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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np: so who do you think should get FA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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nnp. Given her wording, I'm guessing she doesn't think anyone should get it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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I wasn't thinking of the twin scenario. And no - - diehard liberal! Who wishes we could afford a third! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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i don't know much about this stuff, but i think it would be hard to place twins at a private, much less with fa. gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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How F*cking dare you. i was feeling REALLY bad for you and rooting for you until that comment. I'm a Republican and if you knew me IRL you would NEVER call me selfish. Until now you seemed like a reasonable person doing well with challenging circumstances. I was admiring you. Then you made a narrow-minded, prejudicial comment. And I'm sure you take offense when people are unfair to your family because of your husband's blindness...but THEIR close-mindedness is wrong, right? YOURS is OK because it's against Republicans who must all be alike and must all be selfish and evil, right? hypocrite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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np. OMG. How f*cking DARE she? LOL! The intensity of your moral outrage is absurd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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nnp. legally blind dh mom is on here a lot, milking the board for sympathy. i'm sort of over her myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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nnnp:you just prefer not to not to know the details of someone's circumstances so you can blindly slam them? God forbid a poster evoke sympathy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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She wiped out her own sympathy vote with the "republican" crack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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blindly? lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I know, what a choice of words! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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This is overly harsh. You don't know what their circumstances are, so this kind of criticism is based on your assumptions of their situation. Did you stop to consider that perhaps their children are adopted? Anyway, FA is a mechanism that schools provide to create economic, racial and cultural diversity. To call it a "handout" is demeaning to those people who receive it, and to the various organizations that spend time and money to raise funds for this valuable, time-honored tradition in private education. After all, the parents of our children's classmates will also be our friends, and I enjoy welcoming into our family of friends people who break the mold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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np. There's no point trying to discuss it rationally or politely with her. She's here on a regular basis ranting about this. Her vitriol and writing style are so recognizable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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I hope that the poor OP isn't rattled by this. I hate it when people are attacked on UB like this. It's so lame! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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hey, I recognize you, too, vitriol mom!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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It'd be tough for you to recognize me, as I've never posted about your vitriol before tonight. Maybe you have me mixed up with one of the many other UBers who feels the same way. You really need to get a new horse to beat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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maybe you have just been on Ub too long. the only place where the word vitriol is used with any regularity by people with a limited vocabulary [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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Don't worry, my vocabulary is just fine. The word happens to fit perfectly in your case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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OMG! I LOVE YOU! (and think the same thing everytime "vitriol" is used here...by morons. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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touche...gotta hand it to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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While I agree with your comment I don't see what adoption has to do with it. I'm in the process of adopting from China and I certainly won't expect to be excused from all civic and ethical responsibility because I got my child in a different way than the traditional. In order to legally adopt you have to prove that financially you can take on another child. While this doesn't mean you have to send that child to private school, I certainly don't think that adopting a child should earn you any extra financial aid points. No more so than any other family applying for FA with multiple children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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np. Glad I'm not the only one scratching my head over the adoption comment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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I wasn't suggesting that adopting a child should earn a family financial aid. I was responding to the post condemning the OP of "overpopulation." I was just trying to think of circumstances where having three might not have been in the plan for that family. Apparently, while I was writing my post, the OP said she had twins. A scenario that I didn't think of at the time. I just felt that the OP and FA were being unjustifiably attacked. I certainly had no intention of placing any value judgment on adoption and was not tying it in any way to FA...sorry to be unclear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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oy...having three might not be in the plan! That's not what I meant either. I'm obviously tired and will stop posting. I do hope that you understand what I am trying to say! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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I don't think it is harsh. frankly if OP is in such a mess, she should forget privates and concentrate on living somewhere where she can take proper care of her dcs and her dh. going for private school in nyc in her situation just sounds stupid. nothing reasonable about it at all. its one things to get twins unexpectantly. its another to shoot to educate them in private school if you cannot afford it. anyway she is always whipping out her circumstances as an angry attack whenever someone doesn't agree that she deserves more than everyone else for having to suffer the way she does. cannot stand op [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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np: Hello, she said she had dismissed private b/c it seemed unrealistic -- she was just asking re FA. Guess you don't have any "circumstances" in your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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nnp. why does she care if she's already dismissed private? because she wants the throw herself another pity party. poor me, blind dh, three dcs, boo-hoo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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well, in her circumstances, I would find it unrealistic and would not need UB to tell me otherwise. As for circumstances in my life, I guess we all have them. Just don't pull them out in an aggressive attempt to jerk a tear. OP is entitled and angry. she uses her dh's blindness to fight others when her entitlement becomes apparent to them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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WTF? Someone was attacking her -- I don't know how that makes her entitled or angry. She was just defending herself. Do you think people should just have monosyllabic responses here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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she did not need to pull out the sob story in an aggresive attack. how should we know? she could have said that the twins were not anticipated and now finds herself with 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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How should we know? Yeah, assume the worst & go for the jugular [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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np. There was nothing overly aggressive about her post, considering what she was responding to. The only thing she wrote that was attack-like was her accusation that you and the poster following you must be Republicans. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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It is nasty post guilt that is making it a "sob story". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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Are your kids in private? You paying full freight? If you couldn't would you not consider FA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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Not liking the poster, shouldn't translate to condemning FA as a handout and accusing people with three kids of overpopulating the planet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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np. To make the jump from OP applying for FA to not taking proper care of her family is beyond ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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did OP say she was poor, or just that her dh was blind? OP: what is HHI, btw? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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OP: Not poor, but middle class. 150K HHI in a good yr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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would seem that even with FA, you will be unable to afford it for 3 kids. i would look to get a good public, either by moving or G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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OP: thanks! dd got into a pretty good public, so not so worried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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OP: Mentioned that my dh is legally blind simply to explain why he can't drive & why moving out of city not realistic. Really wondering about FA. Really didn't need the gratuitous nastiness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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does legally blind mean he can see for the most part, but does not have good enough vision or depth perception to drive? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, he is an architect so I hope he can see something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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Don't pay attention to them - I had the same circumstances. 1st dc in private then unexpected twins, didn't think we could swing all 3 but school was very good to us &gave us FA for all 3. Don't know how hard it would have been if we didn't already have a track record at that school tho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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