UrbanBaby

05.24.08, 18:07 PM Expecting
17 replies

Curious for responses from the other boards... do you think you have the right to ask Grandma not to smoke indoors when you're visiting with the kids? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Expecting 05.24.08, 06:07 PM Flag

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Yes, your baby, your choice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:09 PM Flag

NP: but it's her house. You've always known that she's a smoker, so if it's that important to you, stay in a hotel. A guest doesn't get to dictate how their host behaves in their own home. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:15 PM Flag

a daughter is not just any guest, by any stretch of the imagination; and when other guests are children, that makes it even more okay to make the request. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:16 PM Flag

It doesn't matter. It's not your house, you don't get to make the rules. If you are in someone else's home, even your parent's home, you can dictate the behavior of your own children, including what they get to eat, but you do not get to tell other adults how to behave. If you don't like what they are doing, you leave. Even at your parent's house. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:19 PM Flag

np: i don't see how staying in a hotel would fix it. i'm sure they're there during the daytime, too. grandma should be able to bring herself to smoke outdoors for a couple of days to be able to see her grandkids, for god's sake. what's her problem? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:37 PM Flag

absolutely!! or stay in hotel if she doesn't agree [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:12 PM Flag

I wouldn't wait until I got there--when she tendered the invitation, I'd probably say, "We should stay in a hotel because I'm uncomfortable with you smoking around the kids." But, truthfully, the house will reak of smoke whether or not she's actually smoking indoors while you're there. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:13 PM Flag

Staying in a hotel is not an option, and if I mention not coming becuase of it she says I'm emotionally blackmailing her.Addiction is ugly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:15 PM Flag

if staying in a hotel is not an option, then just say you can't make it. why do you have to tell her why? say it's a difficult time to travel with the kids, and invite her to stay with you instead. and, at your home, you can insist she smoke only outdoors. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:17 PM Flag

agree with this. It is grandma's house so she can smoke, does not mean you have to visit [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:19 PM Flag

np: y'know, that sounds awful. you have every right to put the health of your children first. if she can't understand that, I don't think she deserves the time with them. it sounds to me like she's more interested in proving some point about herself being the victim here than spending time with you all anyway. why do I say this? because my own mother is insane (although in very different way). anyway, i wouldn't put up with it. good luck. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:40 PM Flag

My father is a horrific chain smoker and has been his entire life. He has had NO problem with my request that he refrain from smoking indoors when we visit with dc. He even goes to the trouble to try to be as discreet as possible about it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:35 PM Flag

ditto [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:36 PM Flag

np- her house her choice, but if no-one wants to visit it is still her problem [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:41 PM Flag

right, totally agree [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:42 PM Flag

yes, and if she can't comply, i'd say i'm sorry, we won't be able to visit you here. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:36 PM Flag

agree [ Reply | More

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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:42 PM Flag