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05.24.08, 11:03 AM General Topics
33 replies
it's been 2 1/2 years since we left the city. i went kicking and screaming. now i feel the memories of my ny life fading. please help. i want it all back. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.24.08, 11:03 AM Flag
 

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sad. i'm so afraid of this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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np- same here, even tho' life in the city is difficult [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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difficult but totally worth it. at least you have some semblance of who you are because you have to fight for it. in the burbs, you slowly fade into being just like everyone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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it sneaks up on you. last year i was still weilding a hefty nyc attitude, fashion sense, etc. slowly i seem to recognize that i'm starting my days without makeup (still in good shoes though), and not fighting as much as i used to with dh to get back to the city. not that i don't want to, but it's almost as if i've given up. help. i do not want this life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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no makeup??/good grief, pull yourself together..next you will be in crocs. I know it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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forbidden in my house -- not even for dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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stay vigilant...crocs are the gateway shoe to harder drugs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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i know, just lost my friend to this addiction. i had such hopes for her, and now they've started looking at places even further out in the burbs.....just one week after the croc purchased! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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np: mine uses a coach purse now and lives in a mcmansion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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i have real tears.....so sorry for your loss. crazy how it happens! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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it really bugs me that people think being urban is all about what you wear. no makeup?? how suburban of you! wtf? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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it's not just that crazy mccrazy. it's your desire to want to make yourself better each day rather than the status quo. it's motivation my friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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I didn't have any neighbors with this sort of attitude when I lived in the city, but I know plenty now that I live out in the burbs. I think maybe you are confused about what it means to be urban. And I don't know too many cool NYers who say things like "Crazy McCrazy". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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poor baboo-- sorry your feelings got hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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keep caking on the make-up dear. it makes you look so urban, you know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I know I lived in the city for 23 years and don't wear makeup every day. Big sunglasses do the trick [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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NP: I am a die hard suburbanite and I wear makeup every day. I'd sooner go out w/o a bra than w/o lipgloss and mascara. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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i'm you, but only 1 year. and struggling with it, because it seems like the very heart of conformity etc to need a city to keep you who you are. why does it seem like all life is heightened in nyc though? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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nyc is a real celebration of individuality. and whether we like it or not, the burbs are not. and people need to be accepted (esp once you have kids -- you don't want your poor kids to have the freakshow parents). so, in nyc, you can still be who you are. in the burbs, you begin to morph into the parents in your playgroup. we crave being able to be who we really want to be, and that's the person from the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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yeah, i know what you mean, but i guess, does it have to be that way? can't we still be who we are outside of ny, and maybe even more so? and if not, why? is it that in nyc there are always 1000 people reacting to you, seeing you, witnessing you, and the suburbs are somewhat isolating? i really want to understand this, cause i think every day about wanting to be back in ny and don't know whether that's teh right instinct or not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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well, i really make an effort to stil be who i am, and it just blatantly makes me feel like an outsider, and i don't know what to do about it. i try to fit in, but not at the expense of "myself", which then makes it so i don't fit in. not that i'm anything special, but i haven't given up things that make me happy (i.e. wearing dresses to the playground instead of capris and crocs; keeping up with gosspip instead of joining a book club, etc.) it just makes it so that i don't have much to talk about with the other parents, colleagues, and that makes me feel isolated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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yeah, i get it. very very thrilling to me when i go to a nyc playground now, i feel like i'm home. where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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i know, but part of why we left nyc was the feeling tht we had to basically walk in this single rut of work competition, high priced housing, etc, to stay there. yes it was thrilling and invigorating, but on some level incredibly limited and one-track [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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i see that point too. but now i feel like there's nothing to work towards, and you never want to feel that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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yeah, i see that too. i just talked to my dh about this and his theory is that it has something to do with the canvas of the city, i.e. you create color because there's this dull gray background, and so the people are the color. whereas in the beautiful suburbs, you can fade next to the color of the flowers, trees, etc. i don' tknow about that theory (i think it's only a small part of the picture, if it is true), but sharing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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That was my experience too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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where did you go? suburbs of ny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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i think it comes down to the day to day. it's rainy today, and when we lived in the village we would have gotten dressed at least a little stylishly (we lived in west village) gone out (small apartment) walked (no car), gone to four or five different stores to pick up lunch, ingredients for dinner, etc (small specialty stores), interacted with many people on the way (density), then came home and cooked and had friends over (density, and friends like us). here, we've been home, well wear jeans and sneakers and we'll go to trader joe's in our car to pick up some ingredients, then be home again by ourselves. we will interact with pretty much nobody. we could be doing the most creative things in the world with our lives, much more than we'd have the energy or money to do in ny, we can grow our own tomatoes, etc, but in the end, the day to day details will be very different, and perhaps, inferior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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did you have kids when you were going to four or five stores for dinner ingredients, or are you comparing pre-kids lifestyle with post-kids lifestyle? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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NP: Agree.... see, because rainy days in NYC when I had my baby were what drove me to the suburbs! Being essentially locked in my apt because I can't push a stroller and hold an umbrella at the same time. And that first winter, w/ all the SNOW, I couldn't get the stroller over the snow w/o rolling it and me into 8 inches of melted slushy water. I felt like my apt was a COFFIN. Plus, I had no friends, they all worked and being alone, surrounded by people is the loneliest feeling in the world.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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yes, but only 1. and my dh works pretty limited hours so he was always there to carry, help, etc. so it was dreamy that way. but we were 4th floor, and it was a struggle, and we did leave. and jury's still out, i think i'm being lazy but i'm wondering if i get my energy from other people, and there just aren't enough other people around me now to keep me moving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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seriously, there are so many other things to worry about. Life is too short. Appreciate what you have now. Dont live in the past. I live in the city and I am sick of how materialistic and shallow most people have become. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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