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05.24.08, 07:37 AM General Topics
8 replies
Give me strength/patience. Had db 1.5 wks ago. MIL wants to do family dinner at Monday either at my house or out. DH has communicated to her that we are trying to lay low after 6 for the next few weeks but would love visitors for lunch or before 6. I'm trying to EBF and whenever MIL is around she starts in on how I should give db a bottle of formula or a pcaifier. It's really stressing me out. Also, when she comes over, she isn't very helpful—i end up entertaining her etc. Vent over. : ( [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.24.08, 07:37 AM Flag
 

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I totally here you -- Please communicate with her -- My MIL was the same way and I know if we'd communicated with her it might have made our relationships so much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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i'm really afraid that if I say something to her(versus having dh say something which clearly isn't working) she will get really hurt and offended and I will be dealing with the fallout for years. They live like 15 blocks away and we see them OFTEN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I don't know -- we played the whole triangle game for years - I'd bitch to DH, he'd go to her, she'd bitch back. It was a nightmare and we saw them all of the time. I truly think if I'd gone to her directly we might have opened up a line of communication. Sorry to sound so preachy -- my MIL died last week and I'm feeling the "if only I had...." Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. I know you are right, just not sure my head is in a right enough place to talk to her yet. Maybe in a few weeks. She truly is a wonderful woman who is over the moon about her new grandchild, she just cannot stop herself from telling me and dh what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I know -- my MIL never stopped, right up until her last day :) Don't do it now -- you are hormonal, she's excited. Give it some time. but find a happy medium if you can. Good luck with your new baby and your MIL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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just say no. Stick to your guns. You can have a heart-to-heart with her later, but for now, take care of you and your baby. You're offering lunch, brunch, whatever-- that should be plenty for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Now is the perfect time to say no and be bitchy. You can blame it on lack of sleep! You are going to be dealing with her for a long time, set the bounderies now! GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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That sounds horrific. MIL stayed with us 3wks pp and it was not good for me, esp given my hormones at the time. DH really needs to 'just say no'. It shouldn't be you getting involved, you need to concentrate onyourself right now. I realize many MILs dont understand no however. But whatever happens, do your best to ignore her and just concentrate on you. Tell DH he'll need to wait on her while shes there (I totally get what thats like to, in my case its my own mother who ends up needing entertainment and cleaning up after). Do your best to concentrate on yourself and DB and distance yourself and say screw it to whatevers going on around you. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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