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05.24.08, 06:32 AM New York City
25 replies
A p/t child care worker at the emergency day care that we have used has been arrested for having child porn at his home. Once DH came home and told me that he was totally creeped out by one of the workers there, and I told DH not to jump to conclusions, that we had to trust that Lipton had screened these people, etc. Turns out, DH was right! It was this same guy who was caught. I feel so sick! http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/24/nyregion/24porn.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.24.08, 06:32 AM Flag
 

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My DH would be creeped out by any male employee at a daycare. It is really sick, though, but they did say there was no evidence of anything happening there. Hopefully, that's the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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OP: This is exactly what DH told me at the time: that he is suspicious of ANY man working in child care. I disagreed with him about that. But now I am re-thinking my own view, obviously. It is just so upsetting that the Lipton employees who worked alongside this man did not "out" him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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np. Pedophiles do prefer jobs where they have easy access to dc, but that includes teachers, sports coaches, camp counselors, scout leaders, and on and on. Is DH suspicious of all men working in those fields too, or is it just daycare/preschool employees? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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OP: He just went out for a walk, so I can't ask him specifically. I think he would probably say daycare/preschool only? I will ask him. What do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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I know it's unfair and probably irrational, but I'm so paranoid about all men who choose to work with dc, not just the ones in daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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OP: I know. From now on, political correctness is going out the window for me, and I am going to err on the side of making assumptions that might be ultimately wrong or unfair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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How is it irrational? Research shows that more than 98% of sexual offenders are male - including pedophiles. It's not irrational, it's factual. Similarly, it's factual that some percentage of men who choose child-focused careers are doing so in order to gain access to victims. I would NEVER want an unrelated male to have significant, unmonitored access to my children - even given the fact that most molestations are intra-familial. The vast majority of pedophiles who abuse children within their homes also abuse children outside of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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It's irrational because even though most child molesters are men, it doesn't follow that most men are child molesters. Same with men who work in those professions. Most men are not a threat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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But no one is saying that all men are child molesters. What's true is that a significant percentage of men involved in careers that give them intimate access to unsupervised, young children are molesters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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Wrong. It's the inverse that is correct: A large percentage of men who molest children choose jobs where they have access to children. It does NOT follow that a large percentage of men who work in jobs where they have access to children are therefore child molesters. Do you not understand the distinction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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Very often the staff/ director know and have their suspicions but teachers union is strong and it is very difficult to have teachers transferred form assignments based on suspicions. There are usually other allegations and signs of misconduct;Pedophiles have uncontrollable impulses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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OP: This is a private day care facility. I don't believe there is a teachers union involved here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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dd's kindergarten and 1st grade teacher were both male and 2 of the best teachers she's had. I think it's reaching to assume any man in child care is suspicious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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I totally agree. My child has had the same experience. She has had great male teachers, and she is learning a valuable lesson about how men can be nurturing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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NP: My DH is a second greade teacher and I'm grateful for your posts! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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That is sickening. I read about it yesterday. Hope they catch the guy. Never, ever ignore those gut feelings about people. A few years ago dd and I were visiting a college friend of mine in another state and I got the worst vibe from df's husband for no obvious reason. Such an uncomfortable visit. He kept offering to take my dd and his dd to go things without me and df, supposedly so df and I could have time alone to catch up, and I kept making excuses to refuse. My df could tell I had a problem with her husband and it effectively ended our friendship. Heard from mutual friends this winter they are now divorcing and there are accusations he molested their dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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OP: OMG, how awful! You are sooooo right about trusting those instincts. In our case, I never met the guy at the child care place, only DH did, and I second-guessed DH, which I now regret. Oddly, DH said he had a similar gut reaction when he took the Anderson tour a few weeks ago, and saw a very weird guy who was apparently a substitute art teacher. And another parent also apparently got weird vibes about this guy also because she asked the person giving the tour who he was, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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You are witch-hunting and giving far too specific information. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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OP: Sorry, but I disagree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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You are saying something in a public forum that can ruin a person's career, based on a personal feeling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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OP: And what exactly is the problem with what I have posted? Anyone reading my post can make their own personal decision about how much weight to give it. You are free to dismiss it. I am pointing out that my DH was not the only parent on the tour to notice this guy. He seemed out of place, according to DH, and another parent apparently thought the same thing and openly asked who the guy was and what he was doing there. Draw your own conclusions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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NP: and ITA. It's one thing to talk about the guy who has been arrested, and fully another to publicly accuse someone like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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I had a similar situation at my ds daycare. I went to school one morning to drop him off and the police were there looking for a male teacher that worked there. My father had mentioned to me that that particular teacher was creepy and like you I disregarded it. However, he had assaulted a young girl at the school and was arrested. But because of her age they detectives chose not to pursue it. I think he did it and I was sick with worry that he might have touched my son. At the time I chose not to ask my son because I didnt want to put thoughts in his head that werent there. He was 2 at the time. I figured if something happened ds would tell me in casual conversation as we discuss private parts. I know how you feel. Unfortunately I think if given the same situation again I would really listen to someone on the outside looking in with regards to school environment. Sometimes we are so caught up with childcare and work we miss things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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OP: Did you immediately remove your ds from the place? That is so scary. Obviously, you and I were proved wrong about withholding our supsicions. The people who are right are my DH and your father, who trust their own instincts about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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thats creepy- we have used that location as well in the past, but not while that guy was there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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