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05.23.08, 18:00 PM General Topics
65 replies
anyone live in a house they bought with parents (parents don't live there but you do)? we are contemplating this, but i have lots of reservations re: privacy and control issues. worried they will want to come visit whenever the heck they feel like it, regardless of what WE want. i am talking with parents about this, but worried that they will do what they want when the time comes, even if they promise not to. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
 

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do NOT do this. cut the strings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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what exactly are the benefits? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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benefits to us are that we'd live in a much nicer house than we do now, closer to my job, better schools (though my son won't be in public schools for a couple years), and our "rent" would go twd owning something (we'd split the cost 50/50). benefits to them are that they have an investment and a place to keep some of their money where they can't spend it. i'd like to leave it at that, but i'm afraid that one benefit they might want is a place to vacation whenever they want to see their grandson, get away, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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what happens when they want their investment back? do you move? buy them out? sounds like it could be a bad deal for you someday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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Yes, we did it bc of the school district and the fact that houses start at 1mil and we were too young at the time to afford (age 26). Some things have been great, but overall they hold the strings. It is not a good feeling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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is this the ONLY town you can live in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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we actually tried to move away, and did for a time, but bc of dh job it wasn't possible, and another town with cheaper homes would mean private school - which we could not afford.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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come on now...where are you that these are the only options? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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the above was not OP, by the way. I am OP. No, for us, this is not the only town we can live in, but the towns that are near my job and have good schools are way too expensive for us. It may ultimately mean that we have to rent and that's that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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no other school districts will do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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i'm not really saying/thinking they won't do -- i just know that i've now met with principals, talked to parents in the difft school systems, and feel that there are two districts near work that are good. the others just are not. again, we don't have to move right now, and it's not a crisis. i was just asking -- and it looks like this board is pretty unanimous about the response! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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you met with principals? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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yes, in the school district where ds wld go to elementary school. i also work in 4 other local districts and have access to teachers and parents and learn a lot about the schools that way. i've done my research -- that's just how i am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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ayyiyi [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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why are you saying that? if you were about to invest more than 200K and move to a place for the next 5-10 years, where your kid would go to school, you wouldn't check out the schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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how bad is this--I never even knew what my dcs principal looked like until the holiday concert!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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it's not bad that you didn't do it, it's just that i am an educator and a researcher by trade -- it's what i do in life. add that to parenting and you get me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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I am a teacher! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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then i don't really know WHAT to say! :) maybe you're just less neurotic than i am! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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what did these principals say??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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well, i asked them questions about the ways they use the initial screenings that all ps have; how much common planning time teachers have; number of students per grade, per class; philosophy of the school; recent improvements to curriculum and buildings; plans in the works, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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you sound like you have champagne tastes on a beer budget.,you need to get over this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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there are no "cheap" areas here- it is ghettos or this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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where are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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where is this???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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I find this hard to believe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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you just want a phat house [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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^^^and i get that - me too! - but this is a bad way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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BINGO!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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it is hardly "phat" it is a small ranch house that needs a lot of work, for the bargain price of 1mil [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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what town? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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you can't see past the fact that MAYBE the schools in other towns might be OK [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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no- I really can't - not near here- and it would be hard to uproot again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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where are you????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Guess ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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stuckupsville [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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you sound pretty childish, are you still living at home with mommy and daddy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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it sounds like it. I am sure there are neighboring towns that are just fine...but Op needs to be in the more $$$ town..even if mom and dad have to buy the house [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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just so you know, that is NOT OP you're talking to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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long island? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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OP here -- I'm upstate NY near Rhinebeck, Red Hook, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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i think we'd talk all of this through with a real estate lawyer. my folks have plenty of money -- just sold their house for 1.4M and are not buying anything new for themselves. want to invest some b/c they aren't great about saving so this wld protect it (but only about 200K of it -- we'd get a mortgage for the other half). we don't need to move now, but i just feel like we may never own if we don't take adv of this oppty. all of this is to say that i don't think they are going to want their investment back until we're ready to sell the house (and they'd get back their money plus profit) or we [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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^^we're in a position to buy them out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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i think you're kidding yourself, shit happens and people need money - not just when you're ready to sell. and since you'll need to give them 1/2 of profit you won't really be able to upgrade again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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the whole thing sounds like a disaster [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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this is really crazy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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sounds like you are selling your soul [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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They'll also feel they have a "say" in everything you do to the house. "You want to put wallpaper up in there? I don't think that's a good idea and can hurt resale value." I think it creates way too many issues, bad idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Yes. Do Not Do It. Sounded great at first, but creates HUGE control issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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have you done it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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no no no no no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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do it yourself...settle for what you can afford [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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what if we can't afford to own anything around here? just rent forever? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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find a town that you can afford? buy small? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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save or ask you parents for a loan w/ term - owning together seems tough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Save your money for a down payment, get a higher paying job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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pretend the option with parents does not even exist [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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ITA with this, the best advice on this thread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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why, thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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you're welcome! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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we were much happier in our affordable house, it was a mistake to "move up" with their help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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My friend did this with her in-laws. Her mother in law passed away and her fil started coming over whenever he wanted (let himself in). Once they came back from vacation and she thought someone had broken into their house, but it was just that her FIL had replaced the kitchen window and left junk all over. He did a terrible job on the window. They finally took out their own mortgage and paid off FIL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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thats a bummmer. everybody loses...feelings hurt, I bet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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I'd go for it and I'd make it work. Your parents love you and want to help, so make up your mind that you will get a second mtg and pay them off if push comes to shove. Have a lawyer draw up a contract that binds you both to certain financial responsibility [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 09:04 PM Flag
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