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05.23.08, 12:32 PM General Topics
11 replies
I posted a few minutes ago (but then stepped away) about my son who has been testing me a lot lately. From the responses I got, none of which were encouraging, it seems as if my 4 1/2 yo DS is the only one in the history of the world who ever tests limits (via actions and occasionally verbally). It also seems as if every other mom on here knows exactly what to say in every situation, via all of the parenting books that they mentioned, and their kids never step out of line or do anything wrong. I guess I'm an idiot. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 12:32 PM Flag
 

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welcome to the ub. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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OP: 4 years and counting. But I've never been shouted down that way. Oh well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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I've found this a lot on here. Everyone LOVES to give armchair advice. We all become little sanctimommies doling out advice. When our reality can be quite similar. Try to take it with a grain of salt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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OP: I really am fine, but maybe I didn't spell the story out well enough. In any event, I was sort of surprised that not one person said: yeah, we've all been there (obviously not an identical situation necessarily) and maybe not the best choice, but hey, what can you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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actually, you were very clearly told that 4.6yos test boundaries, that it is developmentally appropriate. We told you that you didn't handle it correctly. Personally, I'm the poster who said he doesn't go outside by himself anymore, period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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OP: Do you live in the city? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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no, I don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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nah.... everybody was just being mean. My 4yo speaks meanly to me, wants to test boundries etc. Easy for people to say, mine doesn't. To answer your question, I don't think that it was probably the best reason to give your child for listening to you. Seems like it sends the wrong message. Fear of the world. But you said it and you can't take it back, so I would just let it go and try to make sure that when you say something then he should listen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. FWIW, I never use fear tactics but I did want him to sense some danger in what he does. AGAIN maybe not the best way to do it, but he's not 10 yo and he's trying to pretend he is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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np: I read your original post, but didn't read through all the replies. Personally, I don't understand the idea of raising your kid without any fear at all. You see all that crap on the news about teaching your kids about "stranger danger," etc. Sure, it's great if your kid listens to you purely based on just listening to you because you're the parent, but that doesn't necessarily teach critical thinking. I don't think giving him the reason behind your concern is so wrong. It sounds like you feel like you went a little over the top, but just reassure him. Approach / Avoidance has worked for biological organisms for a long time now, so the notion of teaching without any element of fear at all is bizarre, IMHO. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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my sister said to me, do you know why I hate Calliou (the pbs show)? and I said no, why and she said because he is a 4 year old boy and they suck. Her son tested her constantly, she has no patience and he knows it and she finally had to start just working the time outs and being serious about it, he grew out of and is 5 and half now a really good kid. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 03:22 PM Flag
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