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05.23.08, 10:26 AM General Topics
15 replies
DH's cousin killed himself last night. DH has been sitting in the family room all day (he took the day off) and has been sobbing or staring at the TV. What can I do to comfort him? When I try to hold him or reassure him he won't respond. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 10:26 AM Flag
 

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Let him be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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so sorry. just leave him be. put some food and water in front of him. he'll start talking when he's ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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I made him his favorite chicken salad sandwich and put it there for him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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wow. if he's like my DH, he probably wants to be left alone to process it. that is just horrible news. i'm sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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that is awful! Just give him the space to work through it. Grief is hard work and people deal with it differntly. Try to let him know you are there if he wants to talk, but he may just need to process it for awhile first [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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He knows that I am there for him, I've told him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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good job then. really not much you can do except maybe try to help his family. How are they holding up? WHen my Dad died, people came out of the woodwork offering food and rides and grocery shopping etc. It really meant a lot to us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I have been talking to them by phone, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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that's good. Just try and think of anything you can do to help them. That will mean more to DH (and them) in the long run than anything else. Grief is hard and isolating and there really isn't anything you can do to make him feel better. He needs to get through it in his own way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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thank you. I've arranged the trip up there for the weekend and services on Tuesday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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and be patient with him. This may last awhile and the sadness may hit him at random times even weeks or months down the road. I don't know how much experience with loss you have had, but it is a strange thing and people react in many dif ways. Sorry for your loss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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^^weird. The first part of that got cut off. I meant "that's good that you will be there and remember to be patient...." etc etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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just sit with him and bring tissues, food, water. don't try to say too much. then kiss him on his forehead and leave the room for a bit to give him alone time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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and you take some time to yourself too. it can be hard on you helping a person in mourning also. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I didn't know his cousin that well....but DH and him grew up next door to each otehr. His cousin now lives in Buffalo and we live in New York. We know we are heading up there tomorrow, where most of DH's family lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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