< Return to Talk
05.23.08, 09:00 AM New York City
29 replies
This is tricky but I am annoyed. I am all for treats and snacks but not as a reward for eating the healthy food that is served, but MIL recently moved closer so she is watching the kids and has introduced the idea of dessert so now I am constantly having this stupid interactions with kids over whether they can have "dessert" and how much they need to eat and I am sick of it. I don't care if, when she watches them, she serves them candy all day long, but I feel I need to put my foot down about dessert. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 05.23.08, 09:00 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
very strange. I would think dessert would be fine, but eating candy all day long...not such a good thing [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:02 AM Flag
»
I think I was going to extremes to prove my point that it isn't about different rules at Grandma's house, but more about the idea of the coercion used to get them to eat a healthy meal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:07 AM Flag
»
i think you are right about this notion of dessert as a reward and eating nutrious food as a task to be completed. can you explain your philosophy to her and hope that she gets it? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:05 AM Flag
»
This is exactly my point. I talked to dh and if I don't get the nerve over the weekend, he'll talk to her when he gets back. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:06 AM Flag
»
ITA with you but I think DH should be the one to speak with MIL if possible [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:08 AM Flag
»
Okay. I'll just wait for him to get back into town. Thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:09 AM Flag
»
same boat. they serve dessert in dc's school lunch program. i made a rule in my house that dessert is for weekends and special occasions. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:11 AM Flag
»
You should bring the school a big fat copy of child of mine and get a child nutritionist in there. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:12 AM Flag
»
You know what? The kids will do just fine. With or without he help of an "expert". [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:16 AM Flag
»
But the administration that thinks they must coerce children into eating a healthy meal needs some help. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:29 AM Flag
»
OR: my dc's school makes me nuts about this. they have strict rules about what we can send for snack and then they go and give them treats frequently. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:21 AM Flag
»
They serve dessert only after the kids have eaten the meal or they serve sugary treats WITH the lunch? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:12 AM Flag
»
i'm not sure. i think they serve fruit for dessert. i just dislike the whole idea. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:18 AM Flag
»
I am sorry but that is ridiculous. Dessert is only for weekends and special occasions? Oh, my. You are going to be a horrible grandparent down the road. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:15 AM Flag
»
when she a grandmother, she'll give dessert all day long! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:19 AM Flag
»
come on. g'parenting is a whole new ballgame. i don't care [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:19 AM Flag
»
^^^i don't care as much what dcs do at g'parents. but i am not serving dessert as part of our daily meals. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:20 AM Flag
»
well, expect your kids to make up for that once they have lunch without you in control [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:21 AM Flag
»
please. this doesn't have to be a rebellion issue. i let my dcs have snacks. but if i'm not serving a formal dinners, it's not going to include a dessert. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:24 AM Flag
»
np: itttta. my mom was so strict about sugar - basically none ever. occasional oatmeal cookie and that's it. I spent two decades eating as much sugar as I could to make up for it, and still have a problem with it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:39 AM Flag
»
OR: i don't have a problem with sugar or snacks. i have a problem with a dessert course. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:41 AM Flag
»
really? even a fudgecicle or a cookie? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 10:42 AM Flag
»
np:we had dessert growing up and my kids do too. It's always homemade or fruit or a little bit of ice-cream. However they don't get any candy during the day unless they're with other kids who have them or it's a treat. They hardly ever ask for candy and even if offered usually say no or one is sufficient. Not judging you, just offering an alternative view. I think you have to make the rules since you're the primary caregiver. Either talk to MIL (usually doesn't work!) or tell kids MILs rules are the exception ie okay for while they're in her care but not anywhere else. gl [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:27 AM Flag
»
My kids sound a lot like your kids, minus the dessert thing. They hardly ever ask for candy because I don't make a big deal out of it. But today at lunch it was ridiculous. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:31 AM Flag
»
np above:then maybe it's just a novelty for them now? Maybe don't make a big issue about it, just tell them no dessert because that is the rule in your home. If they're not big on sweets they may tire of asking soon. My 2-cents is you may be more upset with MIL than with the issue of dessert. My MIL drives me crazy and she lives with her unmarried older daughter so I sometimes feel as if I have 2 MILs to contend with - both trying to convince dcs that their way is better for everything. gl [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:38 AM Flag
»
ITA with you, OP. I have no issue with desserts, etc., but when they're used as reward for eating other things, it basically says that ice cream is better than dinner. It should just be another thing we enjoy in moderation, not a prize. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 09:32 AM Flag
»
we had dessert when we were little but it was mostly fruit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 10:43 AM Flag
»
What a bunch of party poopers! What's the harm in a little yogurt or fruit or (gasp) a cookie or graham cracker after a meal? Geez/ [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 10:50 AM Flag
»
Kids are really flexible about what a dessert is. If I put sprinkles on anything it immediately is transformed into dessert. Sprinkles and mango, frozen blueberries or frozen grapes are all dessert at my house. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 05.23.08, 10:53 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions