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05.23.08, 08:28 AM General Topics
16 replies
anyone else feel like this? i think my parents did the best they can but sometimes i wonder what they were doing all the time i was growing up? i posted about having that experience with my foster sister...anyway, b/c there were so many kids i don't recall much one on one with them. i never learned basics of how to do things right like brush my teeth, wash up, clean up etc. only when i got older and people made comments did i learn to do it right. makes me so mad that they would take so many kids in their home and then just let us watch TV for hours and yell and scream at us most of the time. don't get me wrong we had BBQs and went to the beach at times but I remember just watching TV all day long and pretty much fending for myself..lots of babysitters etc. sorry just venting - i can't imagine being this way with dcs... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
 

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oh man this makes me sad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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not to have a pity party - but here is one example. I used to brush my teeth for like 10 seconds tops and one day my sister's boyfriend saw me and was like 'that is how long you brush your teeth..no wonder you have so many fillings'. i never realized i was doing it wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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FWIW I spend about 30 secs brushing and I have had only 1 cavity my whole life--I got it at 40 !!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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you need to move on. read Oprah's take on bad chilhoods.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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where can i find that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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somewhat--my mom was not domestic at all. I did not really ever learn how to clean properly or do laundry or even cook--my dh is better at all those things because his mom taught him She even taught him how to sew. My mom cooked by opening cand and I don't ever remember seeing her with a broom or mop--or my dad for that matter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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Mine taught me the basics that you mentioned, but spent no real time with me or my brother. I watched tv for hours and hours everyday - can't remember ever having a book read to me or anything played with (except my grandmother who I saw occassionally). Just no real connection [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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why the foster kids? do people do this for extra $$$? i would think you really need to love kids to do this. after seeing the girl that died last week, seems there must be incentive for the foster parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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op - i thought it was b/c she loved kids - i mean they are great with little kids...it is when we got older that the problems started. but now i see it HAD to be for money. come on 9 kids in a house at one time! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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I think you are really dwelling on things you cannot change and it sounds like you are trying to blame others for how you are now. Not to be a total bitch, but you can process these things yourself; square your shoulders and basically thank them for showing you how NOT to parent - - in other words, build a better life on their "mistakes". You have no idea how horrible their childhoods may have been - so for all you know, they were a vast improvement on their parents... now you will be a vast improvement on their parenting skills. Move forward and stop looking back so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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you are right! I really am trying to be different, more loving, just something i have noticed since I had my own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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Np:. this is a great point. thank you, I will use this in my life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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np:this is great advice. OP, sorry for your bad experiences but looks like you've learnt from them and trying to be as good a parent as you can to your kids. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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My DH is going through the same thing you are - particularly since we got pg. He feels like he was raised by wolves, and is totally bewildered by it. I think the key is recognizing that they did the best they could (which you have), and just choosing to do better by your dc's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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op - i can't respond to the OR that said to read Oprah's take on bad childhoods...is there a book about that or soemthing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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why dont you get therapy? maybe it will help to get it all out, then you can move forward & be a much better parent than they were for it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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