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05.23.08, 08:15 AM General Topics
10 replies
I am crying so badly right now. I have a horrible problem yelling at my dh for stupid things. I never degrde him, but yell for stupid reasons. I have tried so hard to control it. yesterday my dd who is 4 said ",mommy, you yell almost every day". I felt like jumping off a bridge. My father was verbally abusive and this statement from my dd killed me. I don't yell at her, but it doesn't matter. She hears me and that is bad enough. Please tell me if I control this now, she will not be scarred for life. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 08:15 AM Flag
 

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it is never too late [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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You're admitting you have a problem, not go seek professional help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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if you control this now, she will not be scarred for life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. I had a friend who NEVER raised her voice - - her child literally fell apart in school the first time the teacher raised her voice. However, I would start to do something about the quality of your life (literally.. YOUR life) by expanding your horizons intellectually or creatively because I suspect you are misplacing anger and dumping it on your dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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it's totally not too late. in fact, it's a fantastic lesson for a child to learn...that people can change negative behavior. (and fwiw, i know how you are feeling. i once yelled at dcs for not getting into bed and my newly-turned 2yo said "sometimes mommy angry". made me feel really low.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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Get help. This isn't just a matter of willing control; something triggers your nastiness and you need to find out what it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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part of dealing with this for the health of your family is allowing your dd to see that people can be imperfect and really work hard to change their behaviors and choices. Whatever damage you fear may have been done by your yelling until now can be outweighed by the positive effect of seeing you really work to turn this around and heal the family dynamic (past and present). I think it is great that you are so troubled by it b/c it means that you are really motivated to change it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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Ask him to just say, "Honey, you are yelling." whenever you do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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I am like that right now, but I am blaming Hillary for setting off my temper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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I agree with above that it is never to late to change that. I grew up in a "loud" household and my parents yelled plenty. I did not love it, but I understood that sometimes grown ups raise their voices. I avoid exposing dd to yelling as much as possible so that she can learn that there are better ways to have conversations. That being said she said to me yesterday "mommy why are you mean to me" she was referring to me being stern with her (and yes a bit louder but not yelling) i explained that i was not being mean etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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