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05.23.08, 06:08 AM General Topics
35 replies
Husband and I are going to try to talk about a past affair I had tonight. He just found out. But it ended long time ago. I know some of you have heard from me in the past, but I've tried to not come on much. I'm just so nervous. Really want him back. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.23.08, 06:08 AM Flag
 

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How did he find out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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a very old text message (August '06) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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was it still on your phone? did you WANT to get caught? ( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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A phone that had been turned off. I didn't even remember I had the phone. It must have been in a draw somewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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Crious- how did he "find" it. I mean, why did he even turn it on, let alone check the messages? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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Yeah- that seems v. odd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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yes, very strange. Apparently, he was going out with a friend who needed a phone- lost his or something. My husband said he would bring one of our old phones and they put some kind of card in it to activiate it. Personally, I think something was up? Because even if you get a zip card or whatever that's called, can you still use it? The number that went with that phone changed. Do you get a temporary number? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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I am not sure how it works... but would assume the msgs go with the old# or something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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I think so as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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That sounds off. Unless it was one of those euro style phones like Virgin where there is no "plan" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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np: you choose a setting whether that stuff is stored on the phone or on the SIM card. Yours were probably on the phone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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Computer or phone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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Hey! I was wondering about you. I only have a minute. That could be positive that he wil willing to talk. GL to you! Just keep reminding yourself that this will take time and he will probably be angry. Just try not to get defensive and agree to pretty much any thing he asks for to try to fix this. Post after your talk and let us know how it went ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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what time is your meeting? I'll try to check in tonight to see how it went. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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sometime this evening when he gets home and our son goes to sleep. He's so mad, as he has every right to be, but I get so flustered when he says things like divorce and other things like that. I try to say it's all out of anger at this moment, but who knows. I'm hoping since this was a long time ago, have since had another child, Don't ever see the guy anymore and have a very involved life socially, etc, and most of all, do love each other, that he will stay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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I really have been thinking about you and will send positive thoughts tonight. Check in tonight or in the morning. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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2 questions. are you separated now? why are you trying not to come on here and talk about it. my gut feeling is long ago, you want to work it out=you will. how long aog? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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He said he's getting an apt for 6 months at the beginning of June. I'm coming on to talk about it because I'm so afraid. I'm so ashamed of what I did. Even though it ended a long time ago, I still did something terrible. I would never do it again, but how is he to trust that. We have 2 children and I'm hoping the time away will help us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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counselling might help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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ITA. Just moving out isn't going to fix anything. you both need to talk this through [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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I agree. I think he just needs some space to clear his head. I think it's killing him to leave our children but he needs to get away from me for a little while, which I understand. I don't think he can heal if he's looking at me everyday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:20 AM Flag
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That's my ultimate goal and I keep mentioning it to him. But he's way way way too mad to even think of that yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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was it a long term affair or a one night kind of thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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It started 3 February's ago and lasted on an off until early summer of that year. I realized the void I felt was not going to be filled by him and wanted it over before I ruined my marriage. Realized it had been so stupid. It also wasn't an affair that was a weekly meeting. It happened a handful of times over that time period. Things with my husband have been great since then until he found this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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wow that sucks. sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:20 AM Flag
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how long ago? was this before children? why did you do it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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Still really trying to figure that out. I do know that the guy was a very good friend who I could easily talk to. almost easier than my husband. My husband has a bad temper and it has caused some issues in our relationship. We also had an ok relationship, nothing terrible, but it lacked something that I obviously thought I would get from this guy- which , I never did. I am so in love with my husband and hope that he will stay so I can prove it to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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have you worked through whatever is was that made you cheat? are those issues still there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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my advice: be really determined to work this out cause sounds like you want to.. and honsetly, i might really fight him about moving out- try to get him not too. honestly not good for working it out and really not good for kids. tell him to stay, get in counseling, you'll work it out. but if possible he shold not walk out that door. trust me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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oh god, this happened to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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sorry, i sounded melodramatic with that. it won't be the end of the world if he does, or has already left. and it hasn't happened to me, but happened to my parents and happened to friends, and i think its much harder/more problematic if someone moves out. but sorry to scare you, it can still work out. i just mean, fight for it- he might need to see you're willing to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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I'm trying- trust me. Thanks for your kind words and please try to say a little prayer for me. Is there anything specific I should say that could help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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Who was the guy? Does DH know him? Why did you have the affair? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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I'm the dh that was on the first time you posted. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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